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YTS.MX
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OH, TO THINK! TO THINK
THAT THIS GREAT MAN
4
00:01:00,751 --> 00:01:02,751
IS COMING TO OUR
HOUSE FOR DINNER!
5
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:04,459
ERNEST, ERNEST,
AREN'T YOU THRILLED?
6
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,167
DEPENDS.
WHAT'RE WE HAVING FOR DINNER?
7
00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:07,667
ERNEST!
8
00:01:07,751 --> 00:01:09,792
IF HE'S GONNA SHAVE
AT OUR HOUSE,
9
00:01:09,876 --> 00:01:11,959
HE'S NOT GONNA USE MY RAZOR.
HUSH, ERNEST.
10
00:01:12,042 --> 00:01:13,083
SOMEBODY
WILL HEAR YOU.
11
00:01:13,167 --> 00:01:14,042
HELLO, LONI.
12
00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:15,417
MR. WHITESIDE'S
BEARD
13
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:17,209
IS WHAT MAKES HIM
SO DISTINGUISHED.
14
00:01:17,292 --> 00:01:18,334
IT IS, HUH?
15
00:01:18,417 --> 00:01:20,250
YOU JUST HIDE
MY RAZOR FOR 3 DAYS.
16
00:01:20,334 --> 00:01:23,209
MAYBE I'LL LOOK DISTINGUISHED
ENOUGH TO GET $1,500 A
LECTURE.
17
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,250
HAVEN'T YOU A BIT
OF CULTURE IN YOU?
18
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:26,834
HAVEN'T YOU ANY
RESPECT FOR THIS--
19
00:01:26,918 --> 00:01:29,125
THIS FIRST MAN
OF AMERICAN LETTERS?
20
00:01:29,209 --> 00:01:31,375
HE MAY BE THE FIRST MAN OF
AMERICAN LETTERS,
21
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:34,000
BUT DON'T FORGET-- I RATE
PRETTY
HIGH IN BALL BEARINGS.
22
00:01:34,083 --> 00:01:36,918
AT LEAST I'M IN
A DEFENSE INDUSTRY.
OH, ERNEST.
23
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,918
I'M SO EXCITED!
24
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,459
[TRAIN BELL RINGING]
25
00:01:45,417 --> 00:01:47,375
I SIMPLY WILL NOT
SIT DOWN AT DINNER
26
00:01:47,459 --> 00:01:48,834
WITH MIDWESTERN
BARBARIANS.
27
00:01:48,918 --> 00:01:51,083
I THINK TOO HIGHLY
OF MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
28
00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:53,792
HARRY CLARK IS ONE
OF YOUR OLDEST FRIENDS.
29
00:01:53,876 --> 00:01:55,500
MY STOMACH
IS AN OLDER ONE.
30
00:01:55,584 --> 00:01:57,876
AND MRS. STANLEY IS
PRESIDENT
OF THE WOMEN'S CLUB.
31
00:01:57,959 --> 00:02:00,334
I WOULDN'T CARE IF SHE
WAS THE WHOLE CABINET.
32
00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:02,918
AND IT'S IMPORTANT TO HARRY'S
FUTURE LECTURE BOOKINGS.
33
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,709
YOU CAN'T
LET HIM DOWN.
34
00:02:06,959 --> 00:02:09,709
ERNEST, THERE HE IS!
THERE HE IS!
35
00:02:09,792 --> 00:02:11,626
THAT'S PROBABLY
MRS. STANLEY.
36
00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:13,042
OHH!
37
00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,250
I WON'T BUDGE.
38
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,292
COME ON,
BABYKINS.
39
00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:17,250
HE LOOKS JUST LIKE
HIS PICTURE,
40
00:02:17,334 --> 00:02:18,709
DOESN'T HE? OH!
41
00:02:18,792 --> 00:02:19,709
YOU KNOW,
SHERRY,
42
00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:21,000
YOU HAVE ONE GREAT
ADVANTAGE
43
00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:22,500
OVER EVERYONE ELSE
IN THE WORLD.
44
00:02:22,584 --> 00:02:24,751
YOU'VE NEVER HAD TO MEET
SHERIDAN WHITESIDE.
45
00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:26,709
OH, MR. WHITESIDE!
PLEASE! PLEASE!
46
00:02:26,792 --> 00:02:29,083
MAY I HAVE
YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
47
00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:30,417
STAND BACK, PLEASE.
48
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:31,959
DON'T COME TOO CLOSE.
49
00:02:32,042 --> 00:02:34,042
I HAVE SEVERAL
CONTAGIOUS DISEASES.
50
00:02:34,125 --> 00:02:35,417
MAGGIE, MY DEAR,
51
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:36,918
WOULD YOU RUN
INTERFERENCE FOR ME?
52
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,500
Maggie: WOULD YOU
PLEASE STEP BACK?
53
00:02:38,584 --> 00:02:41,334
MR. WHITESIDE
IS IN A GREAT RUSH.
54
00:02:41,417 --> 00:02:42,834
OH, DEAR MR. WHITESIDE.
55
00:02:42,918 --> 00:02:45,375
I'M MRS. ERNEST STANLEY,
AND THIS IS MR. STANLEY.
56
00:02:45,459 --> 00:02:47,584
YOU ARE COMING TO DINNER,
AREN'T YOU?
57
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,125
[SPEAKING FRENCH]
58
00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:53,751
MRS. STANLEY, MR. WHITESIDE IS
HAVING HIS LITTLE JOKE.
59
00:02:53,834 --> 00:02:55,667
HE'D BE DELIGHTED
TO COME TO DINNER.
60
00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:57,083
OH, HOW NICE OF YOU!
61
00:02:57,167 --> 00:02:58,918
I'M MISS CUTLER,
MR. WHITESIDE'S SECRETARY.
62
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,918
OH, AND YOU WILL
COME, TOO, OF COURSE.
63
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,250
OH, MR. WHITESIDE,
IT IS SIMPLY WONDERFUL!
64
00:03:03,334 --> 00:03:04,834
DID YOU HAVE
A PLEASANT TRIP?
65
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,000
CHARMING.
66
00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:08,459
I KILLED A WOMAN
IN THE NEXT COMPARTMENT.
67
00:03:08,542 --> 00:03:10,083
SHE ASKED ME TO LUNCH.
68
00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:11,334
OH! HA HA HA!
69
00:03:17,667 --> 00:03:19,250
HAVE YOU LADIES
SEEN MR. WHITESIDE?
70
00:03:19,334 --> 00:03:20,334
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
71
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,000
OH, THANKS A LOT.
72
00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:24,876
BE SURE THAT GOES
TO THE MANSION HOUSE.
YES, SIR.
73
00:03:24,959 --> 00:03:26,417
I'M SORRY I'M LATE,
MR. WHITESIDE.
74
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:28,000
I'M JEFFERSON OF
THE MESALIA JOURNAL.
75
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,125
MIND IF I ASK YOU
A FEW QUESTIONS?
76
00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:31,709
MIND IF I ASK YOU ONE?
77
00:03:31,792 --> 00:03:32,834
OF COURSE NOT.
78
00:03:32,918 --> 00:03:34,626
HAVE YOU GOT A DOLLAR?
79
00:03:34,709 --> 00:03:36,167
WHY, SURE.
80
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,042
THANK YOU.
81
00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:41,542
HOPE IT'S NOT
COUNTERFEIT.
82
00:03:41,626 --> 00:03:42,626
THANK YOU, SIR.
83
00:03:42,709 --> 00:03:44,459
DRIVE ON!
84
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,417
WELL,
HERE WE ARE.
85
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,125
OF COURSE, MESALIA ISN'T A
BIG
TOWN, MR. WHITESIDE,
86
00:04:08,209 --> 00:04:09,626
BUT IT'S SIMPLY
FILLED WITH CULTURE.
87
00:04:09,709 --> 00:04:11,918
THE NIGHT YOU LECTURE,
EVERYONE STAYS HOME,
88
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,000
EXCEPT IF ERROL FLYNN
IS PLAYING, OF COURSE.
89
00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:15,751
MESALIA HAS MANY
POINTS OF INTEREST.
90
00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:16,834
THERE'S
THE CRYSTAL CAVE.
91
00:04:16,918 --> 00:04:18,667
THAT'S JUST A SHORT
DRIVE FROM HERE.
92
00:04:18,751 --> 00:04:20,042
AND THE PETRIFIED
ANIMALS.
93
00:04:20,125 --> 00:04:22,000
ARE THEY COMING
TO DINNER, TOO?
94
00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:23,042
HA HA HA!
95
00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:24,459
OH!
96
00:04:24,542 --> 00:04:26,000
AH! AH! AH!
97
00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:27,792
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
98
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:30,125
OH! OH, MAGGIE!
MAGGIE!
99
00:04:30,209 --> 00:04:32,834
OH! OH! OH, MAGGIE!
100
00:04:32,918 --> 00:04:36,167
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
OH! OH!
101
00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:38,209
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
102
00:04:57,083 --> 00:04:58,542
OKAY. OKAY.
103
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,876
HEY, SHERIDAN WHITESIDE
FELL ON HIS--
104
00:05:01,959 --> 00:05:04,626
PRATT, GIVE ME
500 WORDS ON THAT.
105
00:05:04,709 --> 00:05:07,500
YES, MISS BARRYMORE. I'LL SEE
THAT HE GETS YOUR MESSAGE.
106
00:05:18,083 --> 00:05:20,125
BUT IT IS HOPED
THAT MR. WHITESIDE
107
00:05:20,209 --> 00:05:21,918
WILL BE ABLE
TO RESUME HIS BROADCASTS
108
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,375
ON CHRISTMAS EVE. NOW A WORD TO
THOSE WHO HAVE ATHLETE'S FOOT.
109
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:28,167
I THINK THE DOCTOR
SAID IN ABOUT A WEEK.
110
00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,667
YES. HE'S STILL CONFINED
TO HIS ROOM.
111
00:05:31,709 --> 00:05:33,083
PACKAGE FOR
MR. WHITESIDE.
112
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,709
TELEGRAMS FOR
SHERIDAN WHITESIDE.
113
00:05:35,792 --> 00:05:37,417
FLOWERS
FOR MR. WHITESIDE.
114
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:40,250
WHEELCHAIR
FOR MR. WHITESIDE.
115
00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:52,834
"THE IDOL OF THE AIRWAYS
RESTS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
116
00:05:52,918 --> 00:05:55,292
"AT THE HOME OF SURPRISED
MR. AND MRS. STANLEY
117
00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:56,751
"OF MESALIA, OHIO.
118
00:05:56,834 --> 00:06:00,626
POSSIBILITY--CHRISTMAS MAY
BE POSTPONED THIS YEAR."
119
00:06:00,709 --> 00:06:02,209
OH!
120
00:06:02,292 --> 00:06:04,542
OH, HOW IS HE?
121
00:06:04,626 --> 00:06:05,584
IS HE COMING OUT?
122
00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:06,918
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
123
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,876
I'LL GO, MOTHER.
OH, ALRIGHT,
RICHARD.
124
00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:11,626
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT IS IT, JOHN?
125
00:06:11,709 --> 00:06:14,250
THEY WANT PILLOWS.
THEY WANT PILLOWS.
126
00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:17,083
ANYTHING I CAN DO,
MISS PREEN?
NO, THANK YOU.
127
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:18,918
Whiteside: TAKE
YOUR FISHHOOKS OFF ME!
128
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,417
OH!
129
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,042
2 MORE PACKAGES
AND MORE TELEGRAMS.
130
00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:26,000
DAD'S GOING CRAZY UPSTAIRS WITH
THAT BELL RINGING ALL THE TIME.
131
00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:28,667
WILL YOU ANSWER IT, DARLING?
WHAT DID YOU SAY, RICHARD?
132
00:06:28,751 --> 00:06:29,792
ONE'S FROM
SAN FRANCISCO,
133
00:06:29,876 --> 00:06:31,125
AND ONE'S
FROM NEW YORK.
134
00:06:31,209 --> 00:06:33,000
THERE WAS SOMETHING
FROM ALASKA THIS MORNING.
135
00:06:33,083 --> 00:06:34,334
A BABY SEAL, I THINK.
136
00:06:34,417 --> 00:06:35,918
OH, REALLY?
137
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,167
Miss Preen:
I'LL GET THEM RIGHT AWAY.
138
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:40,834
HE WANTS THE METROPOLITAN
CLUB CIGARETTES.
139
00:06:40,918 --> 00:06:42,459
M-M-METROPOLITAN
CLUB?
140
00:06:42,542 --> 00:06:45,000
THEY HAVE THEM AT KITCHENER'S.
I'LL GET SOME.
141
00:06:45,083 --> 00:06:47,626
HERE YOU ARE.
HERE ARE THE PILLOWS.
THANK YOU.
142
00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:49,626
TELL ME, ARE THEY
BRINGING HIM OUT SOON?
143
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,584
WE'RE GETTING HIM OUTTA BED.
HE OUGHT TO BE OUT SOON.
144
00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:53,959
OH, I'M SO GLAD.
145
00:06:54,042 --> 00:06:57,000
Whiteside: DOESN'T THAT
BIRDBRAIN OF YOURS
146
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,709
EVER FUNCTION?!
147
00:06:58,792 --> 00:07:00,375
HE MUST BE VERY HAPPY.
148
00:07:00,459 --> 00:07:03,834
2:00? YES. I'M SURE
HE COULD TALK THEN. ALRIGHT.
149
00:07:03,918 --> 00:07:05,751
MOTHER, WHO DO YOU
SUPPOSE THAT WAS?
150
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:07,417
WINSTON CHURCHILL
FROM LONDON!
151
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,334
WINSTON CHURCHILL
ON OUR TELEPHONE!
152
00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:11,500
I'LL BE UPSTAIRS IF
YOU WANT ME, MOTHER.
153
00:07:11,584 --> 00:07:12,959
WHAT? OH, YES.
154
00:07:13,042 --> 00:07:15,667
TELL YOUR FATHER TO COME DOWN.
MR. WHITESIDE'S COMING OUT.
155
00:07:15,751 --> 00:07:16,792
YES, YOU'LL
CALL ME?
156
00:07:16,876 --> 00:07:17,876
OF COURSE, DARLING.
157
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,292
MR. WHITESIDE
IS COMING OUT!
158
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:20,834
DAISY, I CAN'T WAIT
ANY LONGER.
159
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,584
ERNEST, HE'S COMING
OUT ANY MINUTE,
160
00:07:22,667 --> 00:07:24,417
AND WINSTON CHURCHILL
WAS ON THE TELEPHONE.
161
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,167
WE'RE IN ALL THE NATIONAL
NEWSMAGAZINES. LOOK.
162
00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:28,459
"THE IDOL OF THE AIRWAYS
RESTS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
163
00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:31,500
"IN THE HOME OF MR. AND MRS.
STANLEY IN MESALIA OHIO.
164
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:33,918
POSSIBILITY-- CHRISTMAS MAY BE
POSTPONED THIS YEAR."
165
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,000
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
166
00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:36,500
I'M SURE IT'S A
GREAT HONOR,
167
00:07:36,584 --> 00:07:38,250
BUT I DON'T LIKE
THIS KINDA PUBLICITY.
168
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:40,876
IT'S A LITTLE UPSETTING.
PHONES RINGING ALL THE TIME,
169
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:43,000
BELLS RINGING, MESSENGER BOYS
RUNNING IN AND OUT.
170
00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:45,167
Whiteside: TRAPPED LIKE
A RAT IN THIS CHEESEBOX!
171
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:46,209
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
172
00:07:46,292 --> 00:07:47,584
HAVE THE CIGARETTES
COME YET?
173
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:50,167
THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.
MY SON WENT FOR THEM.
174
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,334
DO YOU MIND
IF I MOVE THIS CHAIR?
175
00:07:52,417 --> 00:07:53,918
YOU MEAN HE'S
COMING OUT NOW?
176
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,250
HE IS INDEED.
177
00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:57,918
OH! JUNE! JUNE!
MR. WHITESIDE'S COMING OUT!
178
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,626
SARAH! SARAH! BRING ME A GLASS
OF THE COW'S-FOOT JELLY
179
00:08:00,709 --> 00:08:01,959
I MADE
FOR MR. WHITESIDE.
180
00:08:02,042 --> 00:08:04,167
I'M EXCITED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
181
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,459
OH, ME, TOO!
182
00:08:05,542 --> 00:08:08,709
OH, THANK YOU, SARAH.
THANK YOU.
183
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:09,709
GOOD MORNING,
DR. BRADLEY.
184
00:08:09,792 --> 00:08:11,000
GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING.
185
00:08:11,083 --> 00:08:12,834
WELL, HERE WE ARE,
MERRY AND BRIGHT.
186
00:08:12,918 --> 00:08:14,959
BRING IN OUR LITTLE
PATIENT, MISS PREEN.
187
00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:32,167
GOOD MORNING,
MR. WHITESIDE.
188
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,751
I'M MRS. ERNEST STANLEY.
REMEMBER?
189
00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:38,125
AND THIS IS MY HUSBAND.
HOW DO YOU DO?
I HOPE YOU'RE BETTER.
190
00:08:38,209 --> 00:08:42,751
THANK YOU. I AM SUING YOU
FOR
$150,000.
191
00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:44,083
HOW'S THAT?
WHAT?
192
00:08:44,167 --> 00:08:48,125
I SAID THAT I AM SUING YOU
FOR $150,000.
193
00:08:48,209 --> 00:08:51,083
YOU MEAN BECAUSE YOU FELL ON
OUR
STEPS, MR. WHITESIDE?
194
00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:53,709
THOMAS E. DEWEY WILL
EXPLAIN
IT TO YOU IN COURT.
195
00:08:53,792 --> 00:08:56,375
WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE
LIKE THE KISS OF DEATH?
196
00:08:56,459 --> 00:08:58,292
OH, MY COW'S-FOOT
JELLY!
197
00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:00,709
MADE FROM YOUR OWN FOOT,
I HAVE NO DOUBT.
198
00:09:00,792 --> 00:09:03,834
THERE ARE A FEW SMALL
MATTERS
TO TAKE UP WITH YOU.
199
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:07,292
SINCE THIS CORNER DRUGGIST AT
MY
ELBOW TELLS ME THAT I SHALL BE
200
00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:08,626
CONFINED TO THIS
MOLDY MORTUARY
201
00:09:08,709 --> 00:09:10,083
FOR AT LEAST
ANOTHER 10 DAYS--
202
00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:13,500
DUE ENTIRELY TO YOUR
STUPIDITY
AND NEGLIGENCE--
203
00:09:13,584 --> 00:09:16,626
I SHALL HAVE TO CARRY ON MY
ACTIVITIES AS BEST I CAN.
204
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:18,626
I SHALL REQUIRE EXCLUSIVE
USE
OF THIS ROOM,
205
00:09:18,709 --> 00:09:21,500
AS WELL AS THAT DRAFTY SEWER
WHICH YOU CALL THE LIBRARY.
206
00:09:21,584 --> 00:09:23,876
I WANT NOBODY TO COME IN
WHILE I'M HERE.
207
00:09:23,959 --> 00:09:25,292
WHAT DO YOU
MEAN, SIR?
208
00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:29,167
WE'VE TO GO UP THOSE STAIRS
TO GET TO OUR ROOMS.
209
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,876
ISN'T THERE
A BACK ENTRANCE?
210
00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:33,083
WHY, YES.
WELL, THEN USE THAT.
211
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:38,709
I SHALL ALSO REQUIRE A ROOM FOR
MY SECRETARY-- MISS CUTLER.
212
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:40,876
THERE'LL BE A MANY
INCOMING AND OUTGOING CALLS,
213
00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:42,959
SO PLEASE DO NOT
USE THE TELEPHONE.
214
00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:45,000
I SLEEP UNTIL NOON
AND MUST HAVE QUIET
215
00:09:45,083 --> 00:09:46,751
THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE
UNTIL THAT HOUR.
216
00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:49,334
THERE'LL BE 5 FOR LUNCH
TODAY.
WHERE'S THE COOK?
217
00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:52,876
MR. WHITESIDE,
IF I MAY INTERRUPT--
YOU MAY NOT, SIR.
218
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,959
WILL YOU TAKE YOUR CLAMMY
HAND OFF MY CHAIR?
219
00:09:56,042 --> 00:09:59,125
YOU HAVE THE TOUCH OF
A LOVE-STARVED COBRA.
220
00:09:59,209 --> 00:10:01,459
AND NOW WILL YOU ALL
LEAVE QUIETLY.
221
00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:05,500
MUST I ASK MISS CUTLER TO PASS
AMONG YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT?
222
00:10:05,584 --> 00:10:08,000
LOOK HERE, MR. WHITESIDE--
THERE IS NOTHING
TO DISCUSS, SIR.
223
00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:10,417
CONSIDERING THE DAMAGE THAT
I'VE
SUFFERED AT YOUR HANDS,
224
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:15,209
I'M ASKING VERY LITTLE.
GOOD DAY.
225
00:10:15,292 --> 00:10:17,334
I'LL CALL YOU FROM
THE OFFICE LATER, DAISY.
226
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:21,459
NOT ON THIS PHONE,
PLEASE.
227
00:10:21,542 --> 00:10:23,292
HERE IS THE MENU
FOR LUNCH.
228
00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:24,918
BUT I--I'VE
ORDERED LUNCH.
229
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,542
IT'LL BE SENT UP TO YOU.
230
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,000
I'M USING THE DINING ROOM
FOR MY GUESTS.
231
00:10:29,083 --> 00:10:31,876
WHERE ARE THOSE
CIGARETTES?
232
00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:34,083
WHY, MY--MY SON
WENT TO GET THEM.
233
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:37,000
I DON'T KNOW WHY HE-- HERE,
SARAH. THE MENU FOR LUNCH.
234
00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,876
I'LL HAVE MINE
ON A TRAY UPSTAIRS.
235
00:10:38,959 --> 00:10:40,751
YES, MA'AM.
236
00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:43,209
YOUNG LADY, I CANNOT
STAND INDECISION.
237
00:10:43,292 --> 00:10:47,167
WILL YOU EITHER GO UP THOSE
STAIRS OR COME DOWN THEM?
238
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:49,709
[WHISPERS]
No, darling.
239
00:10:49,792 --> 00:10:52,209
OH, GOOD MORNING.
I'M SORRY I'M SO LATE.
240
00:10:52,292 --> 00:10:54,375
I HAD TO GO
TO 3 DIFFERENT STORES.
241
00:10:54,459 --> 00:10:58,459
HOW DID YOU TRAVEL,
BY OXCART?
242
00:10:58,542 --> 00:10:59,584
RICHARD.
243
00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:05,167
IS THERE ANYONE IN THE WORLD
WHO SUFFERS AS I DO
244
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,250
FROM THE GROSS INADEQUACIES
OF THE HUMAN RACE?
245
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,959
WHERE YOU GOING? KEEP THOSE
CANAL BOATS AWAY FROM ME.
246
00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:13,250
GO IN AND READ THE LIFE
OF FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
247
00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:16,542
AND LEARN HOW UNFITTED YOU ARE
FOR YOUR CHOSEN PROFESSION.
248
00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:22,000
WELL, I THINK I CAN
SAFELY LEAVE YOU
249
00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:24,125
IN MISS CUTLER'S
CAPABLE HANDS.
250
00:11:24,209 --> 00:11:26,042
SHALL I LOOK IN AGAIN
THIS AFTERNOON?
251
00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:28,959
IF YOU DO, I SHALL
SPIT RIGHT IN YOUR EYE.
252
00:11:29,042 --> 00:11:31,334
HA HA HA!
253
00:11:31,417 --> 00:11:33,292
WHAT A SENSE OF HUMOR
YOU WRITERS HAVE.
254
00:11:33,375 --> 00:11:35,834
OH, BY THE WAY, IT'S REALLY
NOT WORTH MENTIONING,
255
00:11:35,918 --> 00:11:37,918
BUT I'VE BEEN DOING
A LITTLE WRITING MYSELF
256
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000
ABOUT MY MEDICAL
EXPERIENCES.
257
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,500
AM I TO BE
SPARED NOTHING?
258
00:11:41,584 --> 00:11:43,542
WOULD IT BE
TOO MUCH TO ASK YOU
259
00:11:43,626 --> 00:11:45,584
TO GLANCE OVER IT
WHILE YOU'RE HERE?
260
00:11:45,667 --> 00:11:47,417
TRAPPED.
261
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,918
WHY, UH...
262
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:53,209
WELL, I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE
A COPY OF IT WITH ME.
263
00:11:53,292 --> 00:11:55,292
40 YEARS
AN OHIO DOCTOR:
264
00:11:55,375 --> 00:11:57,459
THE STORY OF A
HUMBLE PRACTITIONER
265
00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,751
I SHALL DROP EVERYTHING.
I'M MUCH OBLIGED.
266
00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:04,417
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. WELL,
I'LL SEE YOU ON THE MORROW.
267
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:05,792
UH, KEEP THAT HIP QUIET
268
00:12:05,876 --> 00:12:09,751
AND, UH, DON'T FORGET
THOSE LITTLE PILLS.
269
00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:12,250
MAGGIE, WILL YOU TAKE
40 YEARS AN OHIO BUTCHER
270
00:12:12,334 --> 00:12:14,500
OR WHATEVER IT'S CALLED?
271
00:12:14,584 --> 00:12:16,626
I MUST SAY, SHERRY, YOU HAVE
CERTAINLY BEHAVED
272
00:12:16,709 --> 00:12:18,542
WITH YOUR ACCUSTOMED
GRACE AND CHARM.
273
00:12:18,626 --> 00:12:21,459
I'M IN NO MOOD TO DISCUSS
MY BEHAVIOR, GOOD OR BAD.
274
00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:23,584
I DIDN'T WISH TO CROSS
THIS CHEERLESS THRESHOLD.
275
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:25,709
I WAS HOUNDED
AND BADGERED INTO IT.
276
00:12:25,792 --> 00:12:28,876
NOW I FIND MYSELF, AFTER 2
WEEKS
OF RACKING PAIN,
277
00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:30,626
ACCUSED OF BEHAVING
WITHOUT CHARM.
278
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:32,918
WHAT WOULD YOU
HAVE ME DO, KISS THEM?
279
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,500
VERY WELL, SHERRY.
280
00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:36,667
AFTER 10 YEARS,
I SHOULD KNOW BETTER
281
00:12:36,751 --> 00:12:40,167
THAN TO TRY AND IMPROVE
YOUR MANNERS.
282
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:41,667
WHEN I FINALLY
LEAVE THIS JOB,
283
00:12:41,751 --> 00:12:44,375
I MAY WRITE A BOOK
ABOUT IT.
284
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:48,167
THROUGH THE YEARS
WITH PRINCE CHARMING.
285
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:51,250
LISTEN, REPULSIVE, IF WE MAY
DISMISS THE SUBJECT OF MY
CHARM,
286
00:12:51,334 --> 00:12:55,167
FOR WHICH, INCIDENTALLY,
I RECEIVE $1,500 PER
APPEARANCE,
287
00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:58,167
POSSIBLY WE CAN
GET TO WORK.
288
00:12:58,250 --> 00:12:59,834
OH, NO, WE CAN'T.
289
00:13:10,751 --> 00:13:13,459
MY NAME
IS HARRIET STANLEY.
290
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:17,042
I KNOW YOU ARE
SHERIDAN WHITESIDE.
291
00:13:17,125 --> 00:13:21,667
I SAW THIS HOLLY FRAMED GREEN
AGAINST THE PINE TREES.
292
00:13:21,751 --> 00:13:24,542
I REMEMBERED WHAT
YOU'D WRITTEN ABOUT TESS
293
00:13:24,626 --> 00:13:26,918
AND JUDE THE OBSCURE.
294
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,751
IT WAS THE NICEST PRESENT
I COULD BRING YOU.
295
00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:45,417
AND WHAT, MAY I ASK,
WAS THAT?
296
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,751
THAT WAS MR. STANLEY'S
SISTER HARRIET.
297
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:50,375
I'VE TALKED TO HER A FEW
TIMES.
SHE'S QUITE STRANGE.
298
00:13:50,459 --> 00:13:52,000
STRANGE?
SHE'S RIGHT OUT OF
299
00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:53,500
THE HOUND
OF THE BASKERVILLES
300
00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:55,626
YOU KNOW, I'VE SEEN THAT
FACE BEFORE SOMEWHERE.
301
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,250
NONSENSE, SHERRY.
YOU COULDN'T HAVE.
302
00:13:57,334 --> 00:13:58,751
OH, WELL,
LET'S GET TO WORK.
303
00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:01,292
HERE. PRESS THIS IN
THE DOCTOR'S BOOK.
304
00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:03,667
DID YOU PUT THROUGH THAT
CALL TO MRS. ROOSEVELT?
305
00:14:03,751 --> 00:14:05,334
YES. I CALLED HER
IN PORTLAND.
306
00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:06,918
SHE'D ALREADY
LEFT FOR SAN DIEGO.
307
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,417
WELL, TRY HER TOMORROW IN
PHOENIX. NOW, LET ME SEE.
308
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,959
SEND A WIRE TO THE EDITOR
OF THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY.
309
00:14:12,042 --> 00:14:15,751
"DO NOT WORRY, STINKY. COPY WILL
ARRIVE ON TIME. WHITESIDE."
310
00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:18,500
AH! SEND A CABLE TO
THE DUCHESS OF WINDSOR.
311
00:14:18,584 --> 00:14:22,667
"DEAR WALLY, CAN YOU AND DAVID
MEET ME, "MIAMI, FEBRUARY 20?
312
00:14:22,751 --> 00:14:25,542
DINNER 8:30. WHITESIDE."
313
00:14:25,626 --> 00:14:29,626
I SEE NO REASON WHY I SHOULD
ENDORSE SNUG-FIT BRASSIERES.
314
00:14:32,292 --> 00:14:33,918
WHAT DATE'S THIS?
DECEMBER 10.
315
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,250
SEND A WIRE TO
AMERICAN BROADCASTING.
316
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,959
"YOU CAN SCHEDULE MY
CHRISTMAS EVE BROADCAST
317
00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:40,584
"FROM YOUR NEW YORK
STUDIO,
AS I SHALL RETURN EAST
318
00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:43,167
"INSTEAD OF PROCEEDING
TO HOLLYWOOD. STOP.
319
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,959
"FOR NEW YEAR'S EVE
BROADCAST,
WILL HAVE AS MY GUESTS
320
00:14:46,042 --> 00:14:48,125
"JASCHA HEIFETZ,
HELEN HAYES,
321
00:14:48,209 --> 00:14:49,667
"SCHIAPARELLI,
THE LUNTS,
322
00:14:49,751 --> 00:14:51,083
DR. ALEXIS KALELL,
323
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,918
"WITH HAILE SELASSIE
ON SHORTWAVE
324
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,292
FROM ADDIS ABABA.
WHITESIDE."
325
00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:59,417
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW,
MISS STOMACH-PUMP?
326
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:03,751
IT'S YOUR PILLS.
ONE EVERY 45 MINUTES.
327
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:04,792
THERMOMETER PUSS.
328
00:15:04,876 --> 00:15:06,083
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
329
00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:07,542
IF THAT'S
FOR MRS. STANLEY,
330
00:15:07,626 --> 00:15:09,751
TELL THEM
SHE'S TOO DRUNK TO TALK.
331
00:15:10,626 --> 00:15:13,167
HELLO. YES?
332
00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:16,167
WHAT? PALM BEACH?
333
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,751
OH, JUST A MOMENT.
334
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,709
IT'S THAT DEAR FRIEND OF
YOURS,
MISS LORRAINE SHELDON.
335
00:15:20,792 --> 00:15:22,959
OH! GIVE IT TO ME!
336
00:15:23,042 --> 00:15:24,459
HELLO!
337
00:15:24,542 --> 00:15:27,500
IS THIS
MY BLOSSOM GIRL?
338
00:15:27,584 --> 00:15:29,709
SHERRY, YOU POOR,
SWEET DARLING.
339
00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:31,000
ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
340
00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:33,292
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO
THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE
341
00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:36,042
SINCE THIS AWFUL THING
HAPPENED, YOU POOR LAMB.
342
00:15:36,125 --> 00:15:38,209
OUCH, YOU FOOL!
SORRY, MADAM.
343
00:15:38,292 --> 00:15:40,500
NO, NO, NO.
THAT WAS COSETTE.
344
00:15:40,584 --> 00:15:43,626
DARLING, HOW YOU
MUST HAVE SUFFERED.
345
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,000
I KNOW. I KNOW.
346
00:15:46,083 --> 00:15:48,792
ME? OH, I'M WRETCHED.
347
00:15:48,876 --> 00:15:50,959
I CAN'T FIND A PLAY,
SHERRY DEAR.
348
00:15:51,042 --> 00:15:53,876
I JUST DON'T THINK
I'LL EVER ACT AGAIN.
349
00:15:53,959 --> 00:15:55,417
TELL ME, BLOSSOM.
WHAT MADE YOU
350
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:58,083
TAKE YOUR WHITE BODY
TO PALM BEACH?
351
00:15:58,167 --> 00:15:59,626
WHO'S HOLDING YOU
CAPTIVE?
352
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:02,918
OH, LORD BOTTOMLY'S IN FROM
LONDON. SOME MISSION OR OTHER.
353
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,459
NOW, LOOK, DARLING, TAKE CARE OF
THAT SWEET LITTLE HIP, WILL YOU?
354
00:16:06,542 --> 00:16:09,834
AND HERE'S A BIG KISS
FROM YOUR BLOSSOM GIRL.
355
00:16:09,918 --> 00:16:13,751
OUCH!
SORRY, MADAM.
356
00:16:13,834 --> 00:16:15,209
GOODBYE, DARLING.
357
00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:18,959
GOODBYE,
MY LOTUS BLOSSOM.
358
00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:21,000
MY LOTUS BLOSSOM.
359
00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:22,751
LITTLE MISS STINKWEED.
360
00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:24,626
PURE JEALOUSLY
IF I EVER SAW IT.
361
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:26,000
GIVE ME THOSE WIRES.
362
00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:28,500
LORRAINE SHELDON,
LORD BOTTOMLY, MY AUNT FANNY.
363
00:16:28,584 --> 00:16:30,000
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
364
00:16:30,083 --> 00:16:32,292
IF THESE PEOPLE INTEND TO
HAVE
THEIR FRIENDS USING
365
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:35,125
THE FRONT DOOR--
YOU EXPECT THEM
TO USE A ROPE LADDER?
366
00:16:35,209 --> 00:16:37,209
I'LL NOT HAVE A LOT
OF ITINERANT FIREMEN
367
00:16:37,292 --> 00:16:38,876
RUSHING IN AND OUT
OF THIS HOUSE.
368
00:16:38,959 --> 00:16:42,167
GOOD MORNING, MR. JEFFERSON.
MORNING, JOHN.
MR. WHITESIDE IN?
369
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,000
YES, SIR.
THERE'S NOBODY HOME!
370
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:47,542
THE STANLEYS HAVE BEEN ARRESTED
FOR PEDDLING DOPE! GO AWAY!
371
00:16:47,626 --> 00:16:50,209
GOOD MORNING. I'M JEFFERSON
OF THE MESALIA JOURNAL.
372
00:16:50,292 --> 00:16:51,751
REMEMBER? MET YOU
AT THE STATION.
373
00:16:51,834 --> 00:16:53,250
OH, GET RID
OF HIM, MAGGIE.
374
00:16:53,334 --> 00:16:56,250
I'M SORRY. MR. WHITESIDE
IS SEEING NO ONE TODAY.
375
00:16:56,334 --> 00:16:58,083
REALLY?
SO WILL YOU PLEASE
EXCUSE US?
376
00:16:58,167 --> 00:17:00,584
MR. WHITESIDE SEEMS TO BE
SITTING UP AND TAKING NOTICE.
377
00:17:00,667 --> 00:17:04,000
I'M AFRAID HE'S NOT TAKING
NOTICE OF THE MESALIA
JOURNAL.
378
00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:07,459
IF I'M GONNA BE INSULTED, I'D
LIKE IT TO BE BY MR. WHITESIDE.
379
00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:09,667
I NEVER DID LIKE
CARBON COPIES.
380
00:17:09,751 --> 00:17:12,042
OH! TOUCHE IF I EVER HEARD ONE,
381
00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:15,125
AND IN MESALIA, TOO,
MAGGIE DEAR.
WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE?
382
00:17:15,209 --> 00:17:18,250
HOW ABOUT AN INTERVIEW?
I NEVER GIVE THEM.
GO AWAY.
383
00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:21,417
MR. WHITESIDE, IF I DON'T GET
THIS INTERVIEW, I LOSE MY JOB.
384
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,334
THAT'LL BE QUITE
ALRIGHT WITH ME.
385
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,459
YOU DON'T MEAN THAT,
MR. WHITESIDE.
386
00:17:25,542 --> 00:17:27,292
YOU USED TO BE A
NEWSPAPERMAN YOURSELF.
387
00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:29,000
YOU KNOW WHAT
EDITORS ARE LIKE.
388
00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:30,792
MINE'S THE TOUGHEST
ONE THAT EVER LIVED.
389
00:17:30,876 --> 00:17:33,667
IF YOU DON'T LIKE HIM,
GET OFF THE PAPER.
390
00:17:33,751 --> 00:17:35,542
I THINK IT'S A GOOD PAPER.
391
00:17:35,626 --> 00:17:38,167
WILLIAM ALLEN WHITE COULD'VE
GOT
OUTTA EMPORIA, BUT HE
DIDN'T.
392
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:40,209
YOU HAVE THE EFFRONTERY
IN MY PRESENCE
393
00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:42,542
TO COMPARE YOURSELF WITH
WILLIAM ALLEN WHITE?
394
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,834
ONLY IN THE SENSE THAT
WHITE STAYED IN EMPORIA,
395
00:17:44,918 --> 00:17:47,292
I'D LIKE TO STAY HERE
AND SAY WHAT I WANNA.
396
00:17:47,375 --> 00:17:50,292
SUCH AS WHAT?
I CAN'T PUT IT
INTO WORDS, MR. WHITESIDE.
397
00:17:50,375 --> 00:17:52,292
IT'D SOUND LIKE
AN AWFUL LOT OF HOOEY.
398
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,334
BUT THE JOURNAL
WAS MY FATHER'S PAPER.
399
00:17:54,417 --> 00:17:56,459
IT'S KINDA SENTIMENTAL
POINT WITH ME, THE PAPER.
400
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,626
I'D LIKE TO CARRY ON
WHERE HE LEFT OFF.
401
00:17:58,709 --> 00:18:02,125
AH. SO YOU OWN
THIS PAPER?
THAT'S RIGHT.
402
00:18:02,209 --> 00:18:05,626
THIS TERRIFYING EDITOR, THIS
DREAD JOURNALISTIC ARMAGEDDON,
403
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,500
IS YOU YOURSELF.
404
00:18:07,584 --> 00:18:09,083
IN A WORD, YES.
405
00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:12,042
I SEE.
406
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:15,959
SHERRY, THE NEXT TIME YOU DO
NOT
WANT TO SEE ANYBODY,
407
00:18:16,042 --> 00:18:19,667
JUST LET ME KNOW, AND
I'LL USHER THEM RIGHT IN.
408
00:18:19,751 --> 00:18:21,667
YOUNG MAN,
COME OVER HERE.
409
00:18:21,751 --> 00:18:25,042
I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE WRITTEN
THAT GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL.
410
00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:27,500
NO. I'VE WRITTEN THAT
GREAT AMERICAN PLAY.
411
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,500
WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO READ IT.
412
00:18:29,584 --> 00:18:31,500
AH! DO THESE
OLD EYES OF MINE
413
00:18:31,584 --> 00:18:33,334
SEE A BOX OF GOODIES
OVER THERE?
414
00:18:33,417 --> 00:18:34,834
HAND THEM TO ME,
WILL YOU?
415
00:18:34,918 --> 00:18:37,709
THE TROUBLE IS, MR. WHITESIDE,
THAT YOUR BEING IN THIS TOWN
416
00:18:37,792 --> 00:18:39,292
COMES UNDER THE HEADING
OF "NEWS,"
417
00:18:39,375 --> 00:18:40,918
SO I GOTTA GET A STORY.
418
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,959
AH! PECAN
BUTTERNUT FUDGE!
419
00:18:44,042 --> 00:18:46,500
OH, MY! YOU MUSTN'T EAT CANDY,
MR. WHITESIDE.
420
00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:48,375
IT'S VERY BAD
FOR YOU.
421
00:18:48,459 --> 00:18:50,876
MY GREAT-AUNT JENNIFER
ATE A WHOLE BOX OF CANDY
422
00:18:50,959 --> 00:18:52,375
EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE.
423
00:18:52,459 --> 00:18:55,542
SHE LIVED TO BE 102, AND WHEN
SHE'D BEEN DEAD 3 DAYS,
424
00:18:55,626 --> 00:18:58,167
SHE LOOKED BETTER
THAN YOU DO NOW.
425
00:19:00,918 --> 00:19:03,209
NOW THAT YOU'VE WON ME
WITH YOUR PRETTY WAYS--
426
00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:05,209
HAVE A PIECE
OF CANDY?
THANKS.
427
00:19:05,292 --> 00:19:07,042
I'LL GRANT YOU A
ONE-MINUTE INTERVIEW.
428
00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:08,375
WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW?
429
00:19:08,459 --> 00:19:10,876
HOW DO YOU THINK THE OHIO WOMEN
STACK UP AGAINST--
430
00:19:10,959 --> 00:19:14,375
I'VE NEVER GONE IN FOR STACKING
UP WOMEN, SO I REALLY CAN'T SAY.
431
00:19:14,459 --> 00:19:17,209
WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON MESALIA?
HOW LONG YOU GONNA BE HERE?
432
00:19:17,292 --> 00:19:19,667
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
OH, VERY WELL.
433
00:19:19,751 --> 00:19:23,792
A--MESALIA IS
A TOWN OF IRRESISTIBLE
CHARM.
434
00:19:23,876 --> 00:19:25,584
B--I CANNOT WAIT
TO GET OUTTA IT.
435
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,209
C--I'M GOING
FROM HERE TO CROPFIELD
436
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:30,542
FOR MY VISIT TO THE CROPFIELD
HOME FOR PAROLED CONVICTS,
437
00:19:30,626 --> 00:19:33,667
FOR WHICH I HAVE RAISED
OVER
HALF A MILLION DOLLARS.
438
00:19:33,751 --> 00:19:36,083
FILCHED FROM THE POCKETS OF
AN ALL TOO GULLIBLE
439
00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:37,542
AND LONG-SUFFERING PUBLIC.
440
00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:38,667
WILL YOU SIGN HERE?
441
00:19:38,751 --> 00:19:40,918
THIS AGING DEBUTANTE,
MR. JEFFERSON,
442
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,209
I RETAIN IN MY EMPLOY ONLY
BECAUSE SHE IS THE SOLE SUPPORT
443
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,250
OF HER TWO-HEADED
BROTHER.
444
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:50,500
THANK YOU.
445
00:19:50,584 --> 00:19:52,459
DO YOU PLAY
GIN RUMMY?
I SURE DO.
446
00:19:52,542 --> 00:19:55,292
FINE! HOW MUCH
CAN YOU AFFORD TO LOSE?
I GENERALLY WIN.
447
00:19:55,375 --> 00:19:57,626
WE WON'T DISCUSS THAT.
COME BACK AT 8:30.
448
00:19:57,709 --> 00:19:59,876
WE'LL PLAY 3-HANDED
WITH ELSIE DINSMORE.
449
00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:03,042
BY THE WAY, YOU OWE ME $1.00.
WHAT'S THAT? WHAT FOR?
450
00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:04,751
AT THE STATION.
THE DOLLAR YOU BORROWED.
451
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:07,876
YOU PAY A HEALTHIER
INCOME TAX THAN I DO. GIVE.
452
00:20:07,959 --> 00:20:11,125
MAGGIE, MAKE OUT A CHECK FOR
THIS MISERABLE MONEY-CHANGER.
453
00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:13,000
MAKE THE CHECK OUT
TO BERTRAM H.
454
00:20:13,083 --> 00:20:14,417
[SIREN]
455
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:17,626
AH! THAT MUST BE
MY LUNCHEON GUESTS.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
456
00:20:17,709 --> 00:20:19,459
A FEW MURDERERS
FROM THE CROPFIELD HOME
457
00:20:19,542 --> 00:20:20,959
AT THE STATE PENITENTIARY.
458
00:20:21,042 --> 00:20:23,626
YOU SEE, MR. JEFFERSON, THE
FACT
THAT MR. WHITESIDE HAPPENS
459
00:20:23,709 --> 00:20:25,626
TO BE THE NATION'S
FOREMOST AUTHORITY
460
00:20:25,709 --> 00:20:26,959
ON MURDERS
AND MURDER TRIALS
461
00:20:27,042 --> 00:20:29,083
FORMS A BOND
BETWEEN THEM.
462
00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:31,792
BY THE WAY, JEFFERSON,
HOW ABOUT STAYING FOR LUNCH?
463
00:20:31,876 --> 00:20:33,792
OH, GLAD TO.
464
00:20:33,876 --> 00:20:35,918
THAT'LL COST YOU $1.00.
465
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,375
TELL THEM THERE'LL BE
ONE MORE, PLEASE, MAGGIE.
466
00:20:39,292 --> 00:20:40,792
MR. WHITESIDE
AT HOME?
467
00:20:40,876 --> 00:20:42,626
YEAH.
WE'RE HERE FOR LUNCH.
468
00:20:44,751 --> 00:20:47,125
AH! COME RIGHT IN,
GENTLEMEN!
469
00:20:48,709 --> 00:20:50,292
YOU'RE MR. WHITESIDE?
THAT'S RIGHT.
470
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,334
LINE UP THERE, BOYS.
GOOD MORNING,
GENTLEMEN.
471
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,334
HI.
HI.
472
00:20:53,417 --> 00:20:55,334
JEFFERSON, THESE
LADS HAVE FORMED
473
00:20:55,417 --> 00:20:57,626
A SHERIDAN WHITESIDE CLUB
AT THE STATE PENITENTIARY.
474
00:20:57,709 --> 00:21:00,042
THEY LISTEN TO EVERY ONE
OF MY BROADCASTS.
475
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:01,292
I ARRANGED
WITH THE WARDEN
476
00:21:01,375 --> 00:21:03,667
TO HAVE THEM COME HERE
TODAY FOR LUNCHEON.
477
00:21:03,751 --> 00:21:04,834
YOU'RE MICHAELSON,
AREN'T YOU?
478
00:21:04,918 --> 00:21:06,667
DID THE DRAINPIPE
MURDERS?
479
00:21:06,751 --> 00:21:08,167
YES, SIR.
480
00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:09,667
THOUGHT
I RECOGNIZED YOU.
481
00:21:09,751 --> 00:21:11,500
THE ONE ON THIS END,
JEFFERSON,
482
00:21:11,584 --> 00:21:13,042
IS HAGGERTY,
THE HATCHET FIEND.
483
00:21:13,125 --> 00:21:16,250
ALWAYS CHOPPED THEM UP IN
A SALAD BOWL, REMEMBER?
484
00:21:16,334 --> 00:21:17,334
HOW DO YOU DO?
485
00:21:17,417 --> 00:21:18,834
HI.
486
00:21:18,918 --> 00:21:20,167
LUNCH IS READY,
MR. WHITESIDE.
487
00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:21,667
GOOD!
WE'LL GO RIGHT IN!
488
00:21:21,751 --> 00:21:25,000
CAN I HELP YOU?
YES. THANK YOU.
GENTLEMEN, AFTER YOU.
489
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:26,918
WE'RE HAVING
CHICKEN LIVERS TETRAZZINI
490
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,500
AND CHERRIES JUBILEE
FOR DESSERT.
491
00:21:28,584 --> 00:21:31,626
WHAT, NO SALAD BOWL,
MR. WHITESIDE?
UH, NO, HAGGERTY.
492
00:21:31,709 --> 00:21:34,125
I DO NOT WISH TO PLACE
TEMPTATION IN YOUR PATH.
493
00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:37,083
I HOPE EVERY LITTLE TUMMY IS A
FLUTTER WITH GASTRIC JUICES.
494
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:38,417
CLOSE THE DOORS, JOHN.
495
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,959
DON'T WANT A LOTTA PEOPLE
PRYING ON THEIR BETTERS.
496
00:21:41,042 --> 00:21:42,083
YES, SIR.
497
00:21:47,876 --> 00:21:49,834
HELLO, MR. STANLEY.
WILL YOU SIGN FOR THIS?
498
00:21:49,918 --> 00:21:51,876
WELL, WHAT IS IT?
WE'RE NOT QUITE SURE.
499
00:21:51,959 --> 00:21:54,375
IT'S FOR MR. WHITESIDE
FROM A WILLIAM BEEBE.
500
00:21:54,459 --> 00:21:56,918
WILLIAM BEEBE? WHY, HE'S
THE GREAT NATURALIST.
501
00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:03,292
GOOD HEAVENS!
IT'S AN OCTOPUS! THAT'S IT!
502
00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:07,125
I KNEW THERE WAS A "PUS"
IN THE NAME SOMEWHERES.
503
00:22:07,209 --> 00:22:09,334
WHEN YOU RETURN TO
THE UNIVERSITY IN CANTON,
504
00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:13,042
I WANT YOU TO TAKE A MESSAGE
FOR
ME TO PROFESSOR CHUNG WUNG
LU.
505
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:14,751
WE WENT TO HAMILTON
TOGETHER.
506
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,334
MR. WHITESIDE!
507
00:22:22,751 --> 00:22:24,417
SIT DOWN, GENTLEMEN.
THIS ISN'T ANYBODY.
508
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,542
THERE'S AN OCTOPUS
AT THE DOOR!
509
00:22:26,626 --> 00:22:29,751
GOOD! BRING HIM IN! NOW I'LL
HAVE SOMEBODY INTELLIGENT TO
510
00:22:29,834 --> 00:22:31,250
TALK TO IN THE EVENINGS.
511
00:22:31,334 --> 00:22:32,751
MR. WHITESIDE,
I WARN YOU,
512
00:22:32,834 --> 00:22:34,918
I'LL NOT HAVE THAT
MONSTER IN MY HOUSE.
513
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,125
WELL, THERE'S
ALWAYS A MOTEL
514
00:22:36,209 --> 00:22:38,334
FOR YOU AND MRS. STANLEY
IF YOU'RE FINICKY.
515
00:22:38,417 --> 00:22:39,834
RIGHT IN HERE.
516
00:22:41,334 --> 00:22:43,667
A LITTLE PLAYMATE
FOR YOU, MR. WHITESIDE.
517
00:22:43,751 --> 00:22:45,918
GOOD! GOOD! PUT IT
RIGHT DOWN HERE.
518
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,125
MY, WHAT A CHARMING
LITTLE CREATURE!
519
00:22:50,209 --> 00:22:51,792
MR. STANLEY,
WHAT'S YOUR FIRST NAME?
520
00:22:51,876 --> 00:22:53,375
UH, ERNEST. WHY?
521
00:22:53,459 --> 00:22:56,250
BOYS, TAKE ERNEST DOWN TO
THE BASEMENT, WILL YOU, PLEASE?
522
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:59,292
WHAT? MR. WHITESIDE,
THERE IS A LIMIT. I WARN YOU,
523
00:22:59,375 --> 00:23:00,626
I'M A PATIENT MAN,
BUT--
524
00:23:00,709 --> 00:23:02,125
DINNER IS SERVED,
MR. WHITESIDE.
525
00:23:02,209 --> 00:23:05,417
DAISY, WHERE'S THAT
BICARBONATE OF SODA?
526
00:23:15,250 --> 00:23:18,167
DAISY, THIS IS THE END. I'VE
STOOD ALL I'M GONNA STAND.
527
00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:19,626
WHERE'S THAT TELEPHONE BILL?
528
00:23:19,709 --> 00:23:21,792
NOW, ERNEST, PLEASE!
LISTEN TO ME, ERNEST!
529
00:23:21,876 --> 00:23:23,375
OH!
530
00:23:23,459 --> 00:23:27,292
JOHN, TELL SARAH THE LOBSTER
NEWBURG IS ABSOLUTELY SUPERB.
531
00:23:27,375 --> 00:23:29,125
YES, MR. WHITESIDE.
THANK YOU.
532
00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:30,959
MR. WHITESIDE,
I WANNA TALK TO YOU!
533
00:23:31,042 --> 00:23:32,792
I'VE STOOD
ALL I'M GOING TO STAND.
534
00:23:32,876 --> 00:23:34,876
IGNORE THE INTERRUPTION.
FOR THE PAST 10 DAYS,
535
00:23:34,959 --> 00:23:36,959
WE COULDN'T
CALL OUR SOULS OUR OWN.
536
00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:39,000
WE HAVEN'T HAD
A MEAL HERE ONCE.
537
00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:42,542
I CAME HOME AND FOUND CONVICTS
SITTING AT MY DINNER TABLE.
538
00:23:42,626 --> 00:23:44,334
DRAINPIPE MURDERERS!
AND NOW--
539
00:23:44,417 --> 00:23:45,667
NOW, ERNEST--
PLEASE.
540
00:23:45,751 --> 00:23:48,167
I GO INTO MY BATHROOM
AND BUMP INTO 2 MORE.
541
00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:50,500
I WON'T STAND FOR IT,
NO MATTER WHAT!
542
00:23:50,584 --> 00:23:52,792
HAVE YOU QUITE FINISHED?
NO, SIR, I HAVE NOT!
543
00:23:52,876 --> 00:23:56,834
THIS BILL FROM THE TELEPHONE
COMPANY FOR $784!
544
00:23:56,918 --> 00:23:58,626
OKLAHOMA CITY, ROME,
545
00:23:58,709 --> 00:24:01,167
CALCUTTA, HOLLYWOOD,
BUENOS AIRES,
546
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,751
NEW YORK, NEW YORK,
NEW YORK, NEW YORK!
547
00:24:03,834 --> 00:24:05,500
BUT, ERNEST--
LEAVE ME ALONE!
548
00:24:05,584 --> 00:24:08,876
MR. WHITESIDE, I WANT YOU TO
LEAVE THIS HOUSE AS SOON AS YOU
549
00:24:08,959 --> 00:24:12,167
CAN AND GO TO A HOTEL.
STOP PAWING ME, DAISY!
550
00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:14,500
THAT'S ALL I'VE
TO SAY TO YOU, MR. WHITESIDE.
551
00:24:14,584 --> 00:24:16,000
QUITE ENOUGH,
I SHOULD SAY.
552
00:24:16,083 --> 00:24:18,000
IF YOU INSIST UPON
MY LEAVING THIS HOUSE,
553
00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:19,834
THEREBY CAUSING ME
TO SUFFER A RELAPSE,
554
00:24:19,918 --> 00:24:21,626
I'LL SUE YOU FOR
EVERY ADDITIONAL DAY
555
00:24:21,709 --> 00:24:23,709
THAT I AM HELD INACTIVE,
WHICH WILL AMOUNT,
556
00:24:23,792 --> 00:24:25,542
I ASSURE YOU,
TO A TIDY SUM.
557
00:24:25,626 --> 00:24:26,876
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
558
00:24:26,959 --> 00:24:29,209
AS FOR THE DETAILS OF
YOUR PETTY COMPLAINTS,
559
00:24:29,292 --> 00:24:31,584
THESE GENTLEMEN CAME STRAIGHT
FROM THE WHITE HOUSE,
560
00:24:31,667 --> 00:24:34,042
WHERE, I ASSURE YOU,
THEY USED THE BATHROOM, TOO.
561
00:24:34,125 --> 00:24:35,542
MR. WHITESIDE,
ERNEST DIDN'T MEAN--
562
00:24:35,626 --> 00:24:37,292
I DID TOO!
I MEANT EVERY WORD!
563
00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:39,584
THERE'S ONE POINT
IN WHICH I SEE SOME JUSTICE.
564
00:24:39,667 --> 00:24:41,876
I DON'T EXPECT YOU
TO PAY FOR MY CALLS.
565
00:24:41,959 --> 00:24:43,876
I'LL MAKE SURE
THAT RESTITUTION IS MADE.
566
00:24:43,959 --> 00:24:45,876
CAN YOU PROVIDE ME
WITH THE EXACT AMOUNT?
567
00:24:45,959 --> 00:24:47,792
I CERTAINLY CAN,
AND I CERTAINLY WILL!
568
00:24:47,876 --> 00:24:49,542
GOOD! I SHALL
INSTRUCT MY LAWYERS
569
00:24:49,626 --> 00:24:51,417
TO DEDUCT IT
FROM THE $150,000
570
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:54,542
THAT I AM
SUING YOU FOR.
571
00:24:54,626 --> 00:24:57,042
TELL ME GENTLEMEN--
IS IT TRUE THAT IN CHINA,
572
00:24:57,125 --> 00:25:00,000
YOU DROWN MIDDLE-AGED
BUSINESSMEN AT BIRTH?
573
00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:01,334
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
574
00:25:21,626 --> 00:25:22,751
HA HA HA!
575
00:25:22,834 --> 00:25:25,542
OH, I'M SORRY,
MAGGIE. HA HA HA!
576
00:25:25,626 --> 00:25:28,209
I UNDERSTAND NOW WHY SONJA
HENIE
MAKES SO MUCH MONEY.
577
00:25:28,292 --> 00:25:30,834
YOU CAN'T LEARN SKATING
WITHOUT
TAKING A SPILL OR TWO.
578
00:25:30,918 --> 00:25:32,584
YOU'VE A PRETTY
GOOD SENSE OF BALANCE.
579
00:25:32,667 --> 00:25:36,375
I SHOULD HAVE. I CUT A MEAN
FIGURE 8 AT THE STORK CLUB.
580
00:25:36,459 --> 00:25:39,250
YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN?
HIYA, JACK!
OH! HA HA HA!
581
00:25:39,334 --> 00:25:42,459
AND I DIDN'T EVEN SAY YES!
HA HA HA!
I'M SORRY, MAGGIE.
582
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,000
LET'S GO SIT BY THE FIRE.
583
00:25:44,083 --> 00:25:45,542
OH, DON'T YOU
EVER WAVE AGAIN
584
00:25:45,626 --> 00:25:47,542
UNLESS YOU SEE THE
STATUE OF LIBERTY.
585
00:25:47,626 --> 00:25:49,876
OKAY. HA HA HA!
586
00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:54,626
HIYA, BERT!
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
587
00:25:54,709 --> 00:25:57,792
HIYA, BOY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, JACK?
HELLO, MARY!
588
00:25:57,876 --> 00:25:59,459
HOW'S THE ICE?
HARD.
589
00:25:59,542 --> 00:26:00,834
[LAUGHTER]
590
00:26:00,918 --> 00:26:02,959
HOW IS IT, SAM?
GERTIE?
591
00:26:03,042 --> 00:26:04,918
YOU KNOW MORE PEOPLE
THAN A HEADWAITER.
592
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,375
WELL, I ADMIT
I AM POPULAR.
593
00:26:06,459 --> 00:26:08,626
HERE I AM, THE MOST
ATTRACTIVE MAN IN TOWN.
594
00:26:08,709 --> 00:26:11,792
ARE YOU?
SURE. WE RAN A CONTEST
IN THE PAPER LAST WEEK,
595
00:26:11,876 --> 00:26:14,125
AND I WON. OF COURSE,
I OWN THE PAPER,
596
00:26:14,209 --> 00:26:15,834
BUT THAT'S
JUST A COINCIDENCE.
597
00:26:15,918 --> 00:26:17,626
HOW ABOUT
A HOT SWEET POTATO?
598
00:26:17,709 --> 00:26:19,375
A WHAT?
OH, SWEET POTATO.
599
00:26:19,459 --> 00:26:21,834
THAT'S WHAT THEY SERVE AT 21
WITH PINEAPPLE GLACE.
600
00:26:21,918 --> 00:26:22,834
HEY, FREDDY!
601
00:26:22,918 --> 00:26:24,667
YES, MR. JEFFERSON?
602
00:26:28,042 --> 00:26:28,959
2 SWEETS.
603
00:26:29,042 --> 00:26:30,500
BEST IN THE WEST.
604
00:26:32,375 --> 00:26:35,083
HMM. HOT.
605
00:26:35,167 --> 00:26:37,626
THANK YOU. THANK YOU,
MR. JEFFERSON.
606
00:26:37,709 --> 00:26:38,751
HOW'S YOUR BACK?
607
00:26:38,834 --> 00:26:40,751
IT'S BROKEN.
THANK YOU.
608
00:26:43,250 --> 00:26:44,667
YOU KNOW, MAGGIE,
I WAS WONDERING--
609
00:26:44,751 --> 00:26:47,584
DON'T KNOW IF I'M MAKING
A HIT WITH YOU OR NOT.
610
00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:49,167
YOU'RE DOING
ALRIGHT.
611
00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:51,375
ARE YOU HAVING FUN, MAGGIE?
I'M LOVING IT.
612
00:26:51,459 --> 00:26:52,584
GOOD.
613
00:26:55,042 --> 00:26:56,709
YOU GOT A GIRL,
BERT?
614
00:26:56,792 --> 00:26:58,500
OH, NOT
PARTICULARLY. WHY?
615
00:26:58,584 --> 00:26:59,709
OH, I WAS
JUST WONDERING.
616
00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:01,751
YOU KNOW, MOST
ATTRACTIVE MAN IN TOWN.
617
00:27:01,834 --> 00:27:03,918
FUNNY THING IS,
YOU ARE SORT OF ATTRACTIVE
618
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,042
IN A CORNFED
SORT OF WAY.
619
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,667
I COULD IMAGINE
SOME POOR GIRL
620
00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:09,542
FALLING FOR YOU
IF, WELL,
621
00:27:09,626 --> 00:27:12,292
IF YOU THREW IN
A SET OF DISHES.
622
00:27:12,375 --> 00:27:14,292
WELL, I'VE GOT
THE DISHES.
623
00:27:18,459 --> 00:27:20,000
"HER FOOTSTEPS QUICKEN.
624
00:27:20,083 --> 00:27:22,417
"CALMLY AND QUIETLY,
SHE GOES TO THE DOORWAY,
625
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,250
"AND THE DOOR CLOSES
BEHIND HER.
626
00:27:24,334 --> 00:27:29,042
THERE'S A MOMENT'S SILENCE,
AND THE CURTAIN FALLS."
627
00:27:29,125 --> 00:27:31,959
WELL, MAGGIE,
THERE IT IS.
628
00:27:32,042 --> 00:27:35,626
IT'S WONDERFUL.
I THINK IT'S A FINE
PLAY.
629
00:27:35,709 --> 00:27:36,918
HONESTLY, MAGGIE?
630
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,709
ARE YOU TELLING ME
THE TRUTH?
631
00:27:38,792 --> 00:27:41,584
IT'S BETTER THAN THAT.
I THINK IT'S GREAT.
632
00:27:41,667 --> 00:27:44,751
MAY I TAKE IT WITH ME?
I WANNA READ IT AGAIN
MYSELF.
633
00:27:44,834 --> 00:27:48,042
SURE. YOU LIKE IT
AS MUCH AS THAT, HUH?
634
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:51,834
BERT JEFFERSON,
YOU'RE QUITE A GUY.
635
00:27:53,667 --> 00:27:57,083
SAY, I'LL WRITE
ANOTHER ONE RIGHT AWAY.
636
00:27:57,167 --> 00:27:58,584
HA HA HA!
637
00:27:58,667 --> 00:28:00,459
THERE, YOU SEE
HOW GOOD IT IS?
638
00:28:00,542 --> 00:28:02,417
I'VE FORGOTTEN
THE TIME.
639
00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:04,250
I MUST GO.
640
00:28:04,334 --> 00:28:06,375
[CLOCK CHIMING]
641
00:28:12,834 --> 00:28:14,375
[YAWNS]
642
00:28:21,834 --> 00:28:23,125
MISS PREEN.
643
00:28:26,334 --> 00:28:29,876
MISS PREEN!
644
00:28:29,959 --> 00:28:32,083
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT
IN THERE, A SAILOR?
645
00:28:32,167 --> 00:28:33,667
I WAS JUST FIXING
YOUR MEDICINE.
646
00:28:33,751 --> 00:28:35,292
HAS MISS CUTLER
COME IN?
647
00:28:35,375 --> 00:28:38,292
I DON'T KNOW, MR. WHITESIDE.
AT LEAST, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER.
648
00:28:38,375 --> 00:28:39,584
ARE YOU SURE?
649
00:28:39,667 --> 00:28:43,292
I'M NOT SURE OF ANYTHING
ANYMORE, MR. WHITESIDE.
650
00:28:43,375 --> 00:28:44,459
HERE'S
YOUR MEDICINE.
651
00:28:44,542 --> 00:28:47,167
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT,
GO BACK TO THE NAVY.
652
00:28:51,542 --> 00:28:53,709
[DOOR CLOSES]
653
00:28:53,792 --> 00:28:55,417
[GLASS SHATTERS]
654
00:28:57,125 --> 00:28:58,292
[DOOR OPENS]
655
00:29:14,959 --> 00:29:16,626
Whiteside:
COME HERE, YOU TWO.
656
00:29:16,709 --> 00:29:19,834
COME ON, COME ON.
I'M NOT GOING TO BITE YOU.
657
00:29:19,918 --> 00:29:23,834
NOW, LOOK HERE, I AM BY NATURE
A GRACIOUS AND CHARMING PERSON.
658
00:29:23,918 --> 00:29:27,000
I'M AFRAID THAT WHEN WE FIRST
MET, I WAS UNPLEASANT TO YOU.
659
00:29:27,083 --> 00:29:29,542
I'M SORRY, AND IN THE FUTURE
PLEASE DON'T TREAT ME
660
00:29:29,626 --> 00:29:31,417
LIKE SOMETHING
OUT OF EDGAR ALLAN POE.
661
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:32,834
DO YOU LIKE
MY NEW TIE?
662
00:29:32,918 --> 00:29:34,626
THANK YOU, MR. WHITESIDE.
THIS MAKES THINGS
663
00:29:34,709 --> 00:29:37,167
SO MUCH PLEASANTER,
I THINK YOUR TIE IS VERY
PRETTY.
664
00:29:37,250 --> 00:29:39,542
SINCE WE'RE ON GOOD TERMS,
I'D LIKE TO MENTION
665
00:29:39,626 --> 00:29:41,125
I'VE BEEN ADMIRING
ALL YOUR TIES.
666
00:29:41,209 --> 00:29:42,751
YOU LIKE THIS ONE?
CERTAINLY DO.
667
00:29:42,834 --> 00:29:44,417
IT'S YOURS.
WELL, THANKS.
668
00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:47,000
REALLY, THIS CURIOUS LEGEND
THAT I AM A DIFFICULT PERSON
669
00:29:47,083 --> 00:29:49,959
IS PURE FABRICATION.
ICE-SKATING, EH?
670
00:29:50,042 --> 00:29:52,918
AH, ME, I USED TO CUT
FIGURE EIGHTS MYSELF
671
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,959
ARM IN ARM WITH BETSY ROSS,
WAVING THE FLAG BEHIND US.
672
00:29:56,042 --> 00:29:58,042
OH, IT WAS WONDERFUL
ON THE ICE TONIGHT.
673
00:29:58,125 --> 00:30:00,500
MISS CUTLER AND
MR. JEFFERSON WERE THERE.
674
00:30:00,584 --> 00:30:03,500
MAGGIE...SKATING?
I GOT A MARVELOUS
PICTURE OF HER.
675
00:30:03,584 --> 00:30:06,626
THEY SEEMED TO BE HAVING
A WONDERFUL TIME.
DID THEY, INDEED?
676
00:30:06,709 --> 00:30:10,042
MIND IF I TOOK A PICTURE OF
YOU?
I'D LOVE TO HAVE ONE.
677
00:30:10,125 --> 00:30:13,334
VERY WELL. DO YOU WANT
MY PROFILE?
678
00:30:13,417 --> 00:30:14,959
AFRAID YOU'RE DONE FOR,
MR. WHITESIDE.
679
00:30:15,042 --> 00:30:16,417
MY BROTHER'S
A CAMERA FIEND.
680
00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:18,709
THANKS, MR. WHITESIDE.
I GOT A GREAT ONE.
681
00:30:18,792 --> 00:30:21,125
GOODNIGHT!
GOODNIGHT.
682
00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:40,292
[QUIETLY]
DEAR MR. WHITESIDE.
OH.
683
00:30:40,375 --> 00:30:42,751
HOW WONDERFUL
TO FIND YOU ALONE.
684
00:30:42,834 --> 00:30:44,375
I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO SHOW YOU
685
00:30:44,459 --> 00:30:46,375
A FEW MEMENTOS
OF THE PAST.
686
00:30:46,459 --> 00:30:49,209
I SOMEHOW FEEL THAT YOU WILL
LOVE THEM AS I DO.
687
00:30:49,292 --> 00:30:51,250
WHY, I'D BE DELIGHTED.
MISS STANLEY,
688
00:30:51,334 --> 00:30:53,667
HAVEN'T WE MET
SOMEWHERE BEFORE?
689
00:30:53,751 --> 00:30:57,292
OH, NO. I WOULD HAVE
REMEMBERED.
690
00:30:57,375 --> 00:31:00,334
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
ONE OF MY CHERISHED
MEMORIES...
691
00:31:00,417 --> 00:31:01,834
LIKE THIS.
692
00:31:01,918 --> 00:31:05,375
LOOK. THERE I AM
WITH MY FIRST SWEETHEART
693
00:31:05,459 --> 00:31:08,083
UNDER OUR LOVELY
BEECHWOOD TREE.
694
00:31:08,167 --> 00:31:10,918
I WAS 8,
AND HE WAS 10.
695
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,125
I HAVE NEVER
FORGOTTEN HIM.
696
00:31:13,209 --> 00:31:15,876
WHAT HAPPY TIMES
WE HAD.
697
00:31:15,959 --> 00:31:17,876
WHAT PRECIOUS HOURS.
698
00:31:19,751 --> 00:31:22,792
GOODNIGHT,
DEAR MR. WHITESIDE.
699
00:31:22,876 --> 00:31:24,125
GOODNIGHT.
700
00:31:27,626 --> 00:31:30,334
HAPPY, HAPPY
DREAMS.
701
00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:39,292
[DOOR OPENS]
702
00:31:41,876 --> 00:31:44,417
[DOOR CLOSES]
703
00:31:45,667 --> 00:31:47,083
GOOD EVENING.
704
00:31:50,709 --> 00:31:52,250
REALLY, SHERRY,
YOU'VE GOT THIS ROOM
705
00:31:52,334 --> 00:31:54,459
LOOKING LIKE
AN OLD PARROT CAGE.
706
00:31:55,626 --> 00:31:58,167
DID YOU HAVE A NAP
WHILE I WAS OUT?
707
00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:02,500
WHAT'S THE MATTER, DEAR,
CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE?
708
00:32:02,584 --> 00:32:04,876
DON'T LOOK AT ME WITH
THOSE GREAT COW EYES,
709
00:32:04,959 --> 00:32:06,334
YOU SIMPERING SAPPHO.
710
00:32:06,417 --> 00:32:07,584
WHERE'VE YOU
BEEN ALL NIGHT?
711
00:32:07,667 --> 00:32:09,334
PLAYING HOUSE
WITH BERT JEFFERSON?
712
00:32:09,417 --> 00:32:10,834
I HAD THE MOST
WONDERFUL EVENING.
713
00:32:10,918 --> 00:32:12,667
I'VE BEEN ICE-SKATING
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
714
00:32:12,751 --> 00:32:14,417
THEY TELL ME
I'M THE FIRST PERSON
715
00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,834
TO DO A FIGURE EIGHT
FROM A SITTING POSITION.
716
00:32:16,918 --> 00:32:19,167
WE ARE NOT AMUSED.
717
00:32:19,250 --> 00:32:21,375
BERT READ ME HIS PLAY.
IT'S SUPERB.
718
00:32:21,459 --> 00:32:23,375
IT'S NOT JUST A PLAY
BY A NEWSPAPERMAN.
719
00:32:23,459 --> 00:32:25,417
IT'S REALLY SUPERB.
CRIES OUT FOR CORNELL.
720
00:32:25,500 --> 00:32:28,209
WILL YOU SEND IT TO HER?
WILL YOU READ IT TONIGHT?
721
00:32:28,292 --> 00:32:30,542
I'LL NOT READ IT
TONIGHT OR ANY OTHER TIME!
722
00:32:30,626 --> 00:32:32,584
WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT
OF MR. JEFFERSON.
723
00:32:32,667 --> 00:32:34,918
TELL HIM THAT I'M SUING HIM
FOR YOUR SALARY,
724
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,876
SINCE HE TAKES UP
ALL YOUR TIME!
725
00:32:36,959 --> 00:32:38,792
IT'S NOT AS BAD AS ALL THAT.
726
00:32:38,876 --> 00:32:40,500
HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN
ABLE TO REACH YOU,
727
00:32:40,584 --> 00:32:43,209
NOW KNOWING WHAT ICE-CREAM
PARLORS YOU FREQUENT.
728
00:32:43,292 --> 00:32:45,626
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A VERY
SPOILED CHILD, SHERRY.
729
00:32:45,709 --> 00:32:48,334
OH, DON'T TAKE THAT
PATRONIZING TONE WITH ME,
730
00:32:48,417 --> 00:32:49,751
YOU FLEA-BITTEN CLEOPATRA.
731
00:32:49,834 --> 00:32:52,292
SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR
SNEAKING
OUT LIKE SOME LOVESICK
732
00:32:52,375 --> 00:32:54,375
HIGH-SCHOOL GIRL
EVERY TIME MY BACK IS
TURNED.
733
00:32:54,459 --> 00:32:57,209
I'M AFRAID YOU'VE HIT
THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.
734
00:32:57,292 --> 00:32:59,375
STOP ACTING
LIKE ZASU PITTS
735
00:32:59,459 --> 00:33:01,792
AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
736
00:33:01,876 --> 00:33:04,542
WELL, I'LL BE
QUICK ABOUT IT.
737
00:33:04,626 --> 00:33:05,709
I'M IN LOVE.
738
00:33:05,792 --> 00:33:08,834
NONSENSE. THIS IS MERELY
DELAYED ADOLESCENCE.
739
00:33:08,918 --> 00:33:11,042
NO, SHERRY. YOU'RE
JUST ABOUT TO LOSE
740
00:33:11,125 --> 00:33:12,542
A VERY EXCELLENT
SECRETARY.
741
00:33:12,626 --> 00:33:15,459
YOU'RE OUTTA YOUR MIND.
YES, I THINK
I AM A LITTLE.
742
00:33:15,542 --> 00:33:17,459
I'M A GIRL WHO'S
WAITED A LONG TIME
743
00:33:17,542 --> 00:33:20,375
FOR THIS TO HAPPEN TO HER,
AND NOW IT HAS.
744
00:33:20,459 --> 00:33:22,500
MR. JEFFERSON
DOESN'T KNOW IT YET,
745
00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:25,751
BUT I'M GOING TO TRY
MY DARNDEST TO MARRY HIM.
746
00:33:25,834 --> 00:33:27,167
IS THAT ALL?
747
00:33:27,250 --> 00:33:28,959
WELL, YES,
EXCEPT THAT--
748
00:33:29,042 --> 00:33:32,417
THIS IS MY RESIGNATION AS SOON
AS YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE ELSE.
749
00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:34,584
LISTEN TO ME! WE'VE BEEN
TOGETHER A LONG TIME.
750
00:33:34,667 --> 00:33:37,209
YOU'RE INDISPENSABLE TO ME. I
THINK THAT I'M UNSELFISH ENOUGH
751
00:33:37,292 --> 00:33:40,083
NOT TO LET THAT STAND
IN THE WAY OF YOUR
HAPPINESS...
752
00:33:40,167 --> 00:33:41,834
BECAUSE, WHETHER
YOU KNOW IT OR NOT,
753
00:33:41,918 --> 00:33:44,042
I'VE A DEEP AFFECTION FOR YOU.
I KNOW THAT.
754
00:33:44,125 --> 00:33:46,918
THEREFORE, I WILL NOT LET
YOU
MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF!
755
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,209
OH, BUT I'M NOT!
YOU ARE, MY DEAR.
756
00:33:49,292 --> 00:33:51,500
YOU'RE BEHAVING LIKE
TILLIE THE TOILER.
757
00:33:51,584 --> 00:33:53,709
OH, IT'S INCREDIBLE.
758
00:33:53,792 --> 00:33:55,500
I DON'T KNOW HOW
IT'S HAPPENED, SHERRY.
759
00:33:55,584 --> 00:33:57,584
I CAN ONLY TELL YOU
THAT IT HAS.
760
00:33:57,667 --> 00:33:59,375
IT'S HARD FOR ME
TO BELIEVE MYSELF.
761
00:33:59,459 --> 00:34:01,542
HERE I AM,
A HARD-BITTEN OLD CYNIC,
762
00:34:01,626 --> 00:34:04,250
BEHAVING LIKE
WINNIE-THE-POOH AND LIKING IT.
763
00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:07,125
DISCOVERING THE MOONLIGHT
AND ICE-SKATING AND--
764
00:34:07,209 --> 00:34:08,459
WE'RE LEAVING HERE
TOMORROW.
765
00:34:08,542 --> 00:34:10,250
HIP OR NO HIP,
WE'RE LEAVING TOMORROW!
766
00:34:10,334 --> 00:34:12,626
I DON'T CARE IF I FRACTURE
THE
OTHER ONE.
767
00:34:12,709 --> 00:34:14,667
GET ME A TRAIN SCHEDULE
AND START PACKING.
768
00:34:14,751 --> 00:34:16,751
I'LL PULL YOU OUT OF
THIS, MISS STARDUST.
769
00:34:16,834 --> 00:34:18,292
I'LL GET THE ANTS FROM
MOONLIT--
770
00:34:18,375 --> 00:34:21,125
IT'S NO GOOD, SHERRY.
IT'S NO GOOD.
771
00:34:21,209 --> 00:34:23,209
I'D BE BACK ON THE
FIRST STREAMLINED TRAIN.
772
00:34:23,292 --> 00:34:25,125
OH, IT'S COMPLETELY
UNBELIEVABLE!
773
00:34:25,209 --> 00:34:27,542
CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF
THE WIFE OF THE EDITOR
774
00:34:27,626 --> 00:34:30,584
OF THE MESALIA JOURNAL,
HAVING AN EVENING AT HOME
775
00:34:30,667 --> 00:34:32,250
FOR MR. AND MRS.
STANLEY,
776
00:34:32,334 --> 00:34:34,000
MR. AND MRS.
DRIBBLEPUSS,
777
00:34:34,083 --> 00:34:35,834
AND THE MEMBERS
OF THE BIG SISTERS'
778
00:34:35,918 --> 00:34:37,334
BENEVOLENT
ASSOCIATION?
779
00:34:37,417 --> 00:34:40,584
SHERRY, I'VE HAD 10 YEARS OF
THE GREAT FIGURES OF OUR TIME,
780
00:34:40,667 --> 00:34:43,167
AND DON'T THINK I'M NOT
GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR IT.
781
00:34:43,250 --> 00:34:44,626
I'VE LOVED
EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
782
00:34:44,709 --> 00:34:47,918
THEY'VE BEEN WONDERFUL YEARS--
GAY AND STIMULATING.
783
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,250
I DON'T THINK ANYBODY'S
HAD MORE FUN THAN WE'VE HAD,
784
00:34:51,334 --> 00:34:54,584
BUT A GIRL CAN'T LAUGH
ALL THE TIME, SHERRY.
785
00:34:54,667 --> 00:34:57,876
THERE COMES A TIME
WHEN SHE WANTS...
786
00:34:57,959 --> 00:34:59,042
BERT JEFFERSON.
787
00:34:59,125 --> 00:35:01,000
OH!
OH, YOU DON'T KNOW
BERT, SHERRY.
788
00:35:01,083 --> 00:35:04,000
HE'S GENTLE,
AND HE'S UNASSUMING, AND
HE'S...
789
00:35:04,083 --> 00:35:05,542
WELL, I LOVE HIM,
THAT'S ALL.
790
00:35:05,626 --> 00:35:08,709
I SEE. WELL, I REMAIN
COMPLETELY UNCONVINCED.
791
00:35:08,792 --> 00:35:11,834
YOU'RE DRUGGING YOURSELF INTO
THIS GINGER ROGERS FANTASY,
792
00:35:11,918 --> 00:35:13,500
AND BEFORE YOU BECOME
COMPLETELY ANESTHETIZED,
793
00:35:13,584 --> 00:35:15,334
I SHALL DO EVERYTHING
IN MY POWER
794
00:35:15,417 --> 00:35:17,000
TO BRING YOU
TO YOUR SENSES.
795
00:35:17,083 --> 00:35:19,083
NOW, YOU LISTEN
TO ME, WHITESIDE.
796
00:35:19,167 --> 00:35:20,834
YOU LAY OFF.
I KNOW YOU.
797
00:35:20,918 --> 00:35:22,876
I KNOW WHAT A DEVIL
YOU CAN BE.
798
00:35:22,959 --> 00:35:24,667
I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE
TO PEOPLE,
799
00:35:24,751 --> 00:35:26,417
BUT YOU'RE NOT
DOING IT TO ME.
800
00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:28,626
AND DON'T YOU DRUG
YOURSELF WITH THE IDEA
801
00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:30,667
THAT YOU'RE ONLY THINKING
OF MY HAPPINESS.
802
00:35:30,751 --> 00:35:32,375
YOU'RE THINKING
OF ALL THOSE MONTHS
803
00:35:32,459 --> 00:35:33,667
OF BREAKING IN
SOMEBODY NEW.
804
00:35:33,751 --> 00:35:35,959
I'VE SEEN YOU
IN A PASSION BEFORE
805
00:35:36,042 --> 00:35:37,584
WHEN YOUR LIFE
HAS BEEN DISRUPTED
806
00:35:37,667 --> 00:35:38,918
AND YOU COULDN'T DINE
807
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,209
ON JULY 12
IN CALCUTTA
808
00:35:40,292 --> 00:35:42,334
WITH THE MAHARAJAH
THIS OR THAT.
809
00:35:42,417 --> 00:35:44,375
WELL, THAT'S
TOO BAD, SHERRY,
810
00:35:44,459 --> 00:35:46,000
BUT THERE IT IS.
811
00:35:46,083 --> 00:35:48,626
I'M GOING TO
MARRY BERT...
812
00:35:48,709 --> 00:35:50,417
IF HE'LL HAVE ME.
813
00:35:51,626 --> 00:35:53,876
DON'T YOU PULL ANY
OF YOUR TRICKS ON ME
814
00:35:53,959 --> 00:35:56,042
BECAUSE I'M ONTO
EVERY ONE OF THEM.
815
00:35:56,125 --> 00:35:57,918
THAT'S MY MESSAGE
TO YOU.
816
00:36:00,292 --> 00:36:03,751
BIG LORD
FAUNTLEROY.
817
00:36:05,792 --> 00:36:07,667
[DOOR CLOSES]
818
00:36:28,751 --> 00:36:30,876
LONG DISTANCE, PLEASE.
819
00:36:32,667 --> 00:36:36,459
HELLO. LONG DISTANCE?
THIS IS MESALIA 142.
820
00:36:36,542 --> 00:36:37,876
[DOORBELL RINGS]
821
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:42,083
I WANT TO SPEAK
TO PALM BEACH, FLORIDA.
822
00:36:42,167 --> 00:36:45,000
MISS LORRAINE SHELDON.
823
00:36:45,083 --> 00:36:47,626
S-H-E-L-D-O-N.
824
00:36:47,709 --> 00:36:50,584
SHE'S AT THE HOME
OF LORD CEDRIC BOTTOMLY.
825
00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:52,334
PALM BEACH.
826
00:36:52,417 --> 00:36:55,000
WELL, WILL IT TAKE LONG?
827
00:36:55,083 --> 00:36:57,959
ALRIGHT, MY NAME
IS WHITESIDE.
828
00:36:58,042 --> 00:36:59,542
THANK YOU.
829
00:37:00,667 --> 00:37:01,959
GOOD EVENING, JOHN.
830
00:37:02,042 --> 00:37:03,042
GOOD EVENING,
DOCTOR.
831
00:37:03,125 --> 00:37:04,876
[DOOR CLOSES]
832
00:37:04,959 --> 00:37:06,000
OH...
833
00:37:06,083 --> 00:37:09,292
WELL, WELL, GOOD EVENING,
MR. WHITESIDE.
834
00:37:09,375 --> 00:37:10,709
COME BACK
TOMORROW, DOCTOR.
835
00:37:10,792 --> 00:37:11,667
I'M VERY BUSY NOW.
836
00:37:11,751 --> 00:37:13,167
YEAH, I KNOW
IT'S RATHER LATE,
837
00:37:13,250 --> 00:37:15,250
BUT I'VE GOT SOMETHING
WONDERFUL TO TELL YOU.
838
00:37:15,334 --> 00:37:17,042
WHAT WOULD BE
THE VERY BEST NEWS
839
00:37:17,125 --> 00:37:18,626
THAT I COULD POSSIBLY
BRING YOU?
840
00:37:18,709 --> 00:37:20,667
YOU HAVE
HYDROPHOBIA.
841
00:37:20,751 --> 00:37:23,375
HA HA HA! NO, NO,
MR. WHITESIDE.
842
00:37:23,459 --> 00:37:24,751
YOU'RE A WELL MAN.
843
00:37:24,834 --> 00:37:26,459
YOU CAN GET UP
AND WALK.
844
00:37:26,542 --> 00:37:28,459
YOU CAN LEAVE HERE
TOMORROW.
845
00:37:28,542 --> 00:37:29,751
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
846
00:37:29,834 --> 00:37:31,959
WELL, I LOOKED AT
THE X-RAYS AGAIN TONIGHT,
847
00:37:32,042 --> 00:37:33,292
AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
848
00:37:33,375 --> 00:37:35,083
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
AT THE WRONG X-RAYS.
849
00:37:35,167 --> 00:37:37,667
I'VE BEEN LOOKING AT
OLD MRS. MOFFIT'S X-RAYS.
850
00:37:37,751 --> 00:37:40,250
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY
PERFECTLY WELL.
851
00:37:40,334 --> 00:37:42,167
LOWER YOUR VOICE,
WILL YOU PLEASE?
852
00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:43,709
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
AREN'T YOU PLEASED?
853
00:37:43,792 --> 00:37:46,042
WELL, DELIGHTED,
OF COURSE, NATURALLY,
854
00:37:46,125 --> 00:37:48,042
BUT IT'S A RATHER
UNEXPECTED BIT OF NEWS,
855
00:37:48,125 --> 00:37:50,959
HOWEVER. IT COMES AT
A VERY CURIOUS MOMENT.
856
00:37:51,042 --> 00:37:52,709
I--UH...DOCTOR,
857
00:37:52,792 --> 00:37:54,500
I'VE SOME GOOD NEWS
FOR YOU, TOO.
858
00:37:54,584 --> 00:37:55,792
I'VE BEEN READING
YOUR BOOK--
859
00:37:55,876 --> 00:37:57,250
40 YEARS--
WHAT'S IT CALLED?
860
00:37:57,334 --> 00:37:58,667
AN OHIO DOCTOR.
THAT'S IT.
861
00:37:58,751 --> 00:38:01,250
I CONSIDER IT CLOSE TO BEING
ONE OF THE GREATEST
862
00:38:01,334 --> 00:38:02,667
LITERARY CONTRIBUTIONS
OF OUR TIME.
863
00:38:02,751 --> 00:38:04,292
OH, MR. WHITESIDE.
864
00:38:04,375 --> 00:38:06,709
I HAVE A PROPOSITION
TO MAKE YOU.
865
00:38:06,792 --> 00:38:09,167
NOW, THE BOOK'S A LITTLE
UNEVEN, A LITTLE ROUGH.
866
00:38:09,250 --> 00:38:12,167
WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO
IS TO STAY HERE IN MESALIA
867
00:38:12,250 --> 00:38:13,709
AND WORK WITH YOU ON IT.
868
00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:14,918
OH, MR. WHITESIDE,
869
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,167
I SHOULD BE
SO TERRIBLY HONORED.
870
00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:19,125
YES, BUT THERE'S JUST
ONE SLIGHT DIFFICULTY.
871
00:38:19,209 --> 00:38:20,834
YOU SEE,
IF MY LECTURE BUREAU
872
00:38:20,918 --> 00:38:21,959
AND MY RADIO SPONSORS
873
00:38:22,042 --> 00:38:23,459
WERE TO LEARN
THAT I'M WELL,
874
00:38:23,542 --> 00:38:25,292
THEY'D INSIST UPON MY
FULFILLING MY CONTRACTS,
875
00:38:25,375 --> 00:38:27,042
AND I'D BE FORCED
TO LEAVE MESALIA.
876
00:38:27,125 --> 00:38:28,584
THEREFORE, WE MUST NOT
TELL ANYONE--
877
00:38:28,667 --> 00:38:30,542
NOT ANYONE AT ALL--
THAT I'M WELL.
878
00:38:30,626 --> 00:38:31,584
OH, I SEE.
879
00:38:31,667 --> 00:38:33,167
NOT EVEN MISS CUTLER.
YOU UNDERSTAND?
880
00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:35,667
I WON'T--NOT A SOUL,
NOT EVEN MY WIFE.
881
00:38:35,751 --> 00:38:36,667
THAT'S FINE.
882
00:38:36,751 --> 00:38:37,709
MR. WHITESIDE,
883
00:38:37,792 --> 00:38:39,834
WHEN SHALL WE START
WORK ON MY BOOK--
884
00:38:39,918 --> 00:38:41,083
TONIGHT,
LATE AS IT IS?
885
00:38:41,167 --> 00:38:43,000
I'VE JUST GOT ONE PATIENT
THAT'S DYING.
886
00:38:43,083 --> 00:38:45,334
THEN I'LL BE
PERFECTLY FREE.
887
00:38:45,417 --> 00:38:46,542
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
888
00:38:46,626 --> 00:38:48,375
TOMORROW MORNING.
THIS IS A PRIVATE CALL.
889
00:38:48,459 --> 00:38:50,250
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.
YES. HELLO.
890
00:38:50,334 --> 00:38:52,375
YES, I'M ON.
891
00:38:52,459 --> 00:38:54,292
GOODNIGHT, DOCTOR.
GOODNIGHT.
892
00:38:54,375 --> 00:38:57,918
GOODNIGHT. I'LL BE HERE
EARLY IN THE MORNING.
893
00:38:59,459 --> 00:39:01,125
HELLO.
894
00:39:01,209 --> 00:39:03,417
IS THIS MY BLOSSOM GIRL?
895
00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:08,751
SHERRY, MY SWEET.
HOW ARE YOU, DARLING?
896
00:39:08,834 --> 00:39:10,250
LORRAINE, MY BLOSSOM,
897
00:39:10,334 --> 00:39:12,542
I HAVE THE MOST
WONDERFUL NEWS FOR YOU.
898
00:39:12,626 --> 00:39:14,584
I'VE BEEN READING
THE MOST BRILLIANT PLAY
899
00:39:14,667 --> 00:39:16,626
WITH AN ENCHANTING PART
IN IT FOR YOU.
900
00:39:16,709 --> 00:39:18,459
WHY, YOU'RE ONSTAGE
EVERY MINUTE.
901
00:39:18,542 --> 00:39:20,751
DARLING!
902
00:39:20,834 --> 00:39:22,626
WHAT?
903
00:39:22,709 --> 00:39:25,334
DARLING, WHY DO I
HAVE TO COME THERE?
904
00:39:25,417 --> 00:39:26,918
CAN'T YOU SEND IT
TO ME?
905
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,417
LORD CEDRIC'S BRINGING
THE YACHT DOWN TOMORROW.
906
00:39:29,500 --> 00:39:32,083
NOW, WAIT, WAIT.
LET ME EXPLAIN.
907
00:39:32,167 --> 00:39:34,626
THE AUTHOR IS A YOUNG
NEWSPAPERMAN HERE IN TOWN.
908
00:39:34,709 --> 00:39:36,042
HIS NAME IS BERT JEFFERSON.
909
00:39:36,125 --> 00:39:37,667
OF COURSE, HE WANTS
KATHARINE CORNELL,
910
00:39:37,751 --> 00:39:40,334
BUT IF YOU JUMP ON A TRAIN
AND GET HERE,
911
00:39:40,417 --> 00:39:41,334
YOU COULD SWING IT
912
00:39:41,417 --> 00:39:43,042
IF YOU PLAY
YOUR CARDS RIGHT.
913
00:39:43,125 --> 00:39:47,709
WHAT? NO. HE'S YOUNG
AND VERY ATTRACTIVE.
914
00:39:47,792 --> 00:39:50,292
WHY, HE'S JUST
YOUR DISH, MY DEAR.
915
00:39:50,375 --> 00:39:52,125
WELL, IT JUST TAKES
A LITTLE DOING,
916
00:39:52,209 --> 00:39:54,417
AND YOU'RE THE GIRL
THAT CAN DO IT.
917
00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:55,959
ISN'T THAT EXCITING,
MY PET?
918
00:39:56,042 --> 00:39:57,292
OH.
919
00:39:57,375 --> 00:40:01,083
OH, YES,
I UNDERSTAND.
920
00:40:01,167 --> 00:40:03,209
SHERRY, YOU'RE THE DEAR
SWEET OF THE WORLD,
921
00:40:03,292 --> 00:40:06,167
AND I'LL TAKE THE FIRST
TRAIN TOMORROW MORNING.
922
00:40:06,250 --> 00:40:09,459
GOOD-LOOKING, TOO, HUH?
I CAN HARDLY WAIT.
923
00:40:09,542 --> 00:40:12,083
AND LOOK, DON'T SEND ME
ANY MESSAGES.
924
00:40:12,167 --> 00:40:15,167
JUST GET ON A TRAIN
AND ARRIVE.
925
00:40:16,375 --> 00:40:18,792
THAT'S MY BLOSSOM GIRL.
926
00:40:18,876 --> 00:40:21,209
GOOD-BYE.
927
00:40:26,417 --> 00:40:27,834
I FORGOT YOUR
SLEEPING TABLET.
928
00:40:27,918 --> 00:40:29,000
HELLO, MISS PREEN!
929
00:40:29,083 --> 00:40:30,709
MY, YOU'RE LOOKING
RADIANT THIS EVENING!
930
00:40:30,792 --> 00:40:32,792
SIT DOWN. STAY AWHILE.
931
00:40:43,459 --> 00:40:44,876
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
932
00:40:54,042 --> 00:40:55,209
[DOOR OPENS]
933
00:41:04,209 --> 00:41:06,584
SHERRY, I'M SORRY FOR
WHAT I SAID JUST NOW.
934
00:41:06,667 --> 00:41:07,792
I'M AFRAID
I WAS UNJUST.
935
00:41:07,876 --> 00:41:09,709
OH, THAT'S QUITE ALRIGHT,
MAGGIE, MY DEAR.
936
00:41:09,792 --> 00:41:11,417
WE ALL LOSE OUR TEMPERS.
937
00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:12,417
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
938
00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:14,000
JUST GET
A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.
939
00:41:14,083 --> 00:41:15,250
PEOPLE MISJUDGE YOU,
SHERRY.
940
00:41:15,334 --> 00:41:17,334
YOU'RE REALLY
VERY SWEET.
941
00:41:17,417 --> 00:41:18,584
GOODNIGHT.
942
00:41:18,667 --> 00:41:20,709
GOODNIGHT.
SWEET DREAMS.
943
00:41:20,792 --> 00:41:23,250
THANK YOU.
GOODNIGHT, SHERRY.
944
00:41:28,167 --> 00:41:32,876
♪ I'S JUST A LITTLE WABBIT
IN THE SUNSHINE ♪
945
00:41:32,959 --> 00:41:37,292
♪ I'S JUST A LITTLE WABBIT
IN THE SPWING ♪
946
00:41:37,375 --> 00:41:41,125
♪ I'S JUST A LITTLE WABBIT
IN THE RAINTIME... ♪
947
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,459
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S ALL
THERE ARE, MISS CUTLER.
948
00:41:49,542 --> 00:41:50,959
THANK YOU, JOHN.
949
00:41:51,042 --> 00:41:53,751
MY, I NEVER SAW ANYONE
GET SO MANY PRESENTS.
950
00:41:53,834 --> 00:41:56,250
I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE
WHAT'S IN THEM.
951
00:41:56,334 --> 00:41:58,375
WHEN WILL MR. WHITESIDE
OPEN THEM, MISS CUTLER?
952
00:41:58,459 --> 00:42:00,167
WELL, YOU SEE, JOHN,
CHRISTMAS IS
953
00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:01,709
MR. WHITESIDE'S
PERSONAL PROPERTY.
954
00:42:01,792 --> 00:42:03,626
HE INVENTED IT.
IT BELONGS TO HIM.
955
00:42:03,709 --> 00:42:05,250
TOMORROW MORNING,
VERY FIRST THING,
956
00:42:05,334 --> 00:42:08,083
MR. WHITESIDE WILL OPEN
EACH AND EVERY PRESENT,
957
00:42:08,167 --> 00:42:10,000
AND HE'LL RAISE
THE BIGGEST STINK
958
00:42:10,083 --> 00:42:11,834
THAT YOU'VE EVER SEEN
IN YOUR LIFE.
959
00:42:11,918 --> 00:42:14,667
FROM
WINSTON CHURCHILL...
960
00:42:14,751 --> 00:42:17,292
DEANNA DURBIN...
961
00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:19,209
GYPSY ROSE LEE...
962
00:42:19,292 --> 00:42:22,083
SOMERSET MAUG-HAM.
963
00:42:22,167 --> 00:42:24,125
MY, I CAN HARDLY
WAIT TILL TOMORROW.
964
00:42:24,209 --> 00:42:26,959
[DOORBELL RINGS]
965
00:42:28,209 --> 00:42:29,334
ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?
966
00:42:29,417 --> 00:42:31,584
MR. WHITESIDE'S TREE
IS SO BEAUTIFUL, TOO.
967
00:42:31,667 --> 00:42:34,209
MR. AND MRS. STANLEY
CAN HARDLY UNDRESS AT NIGHT
968
00:42:34,292 --> 00:42:35,792
WITH THEIR TREE
IN THEIR BEDROOM.
969
00:42:35,876 --> 00:42:37,000
Bert:
GOOD EVENING, JOHN.
970
00:42:37,083 --> 00:42:38,417
GOOD EVENING,
MR. JEFFERSON.
971
00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:40,626
HIYA, MAGGIE.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, SARAH.
972
00:42:40,709 --> 00:42:42,209
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
MR. JEFFERSON.
973
00:42:42,292 --> 00:42:44,042
SAY, BUSINESS IS GOOD,
ISN'T IT?
974
00:42:44,125 --> 00:42:45,959
MY, WHAT A LITTLE
QUIET BLACKMAIL
975
00:42:46,042 --> 00:42:48,042
AND A WEEKLY RADIO SHOW
CAN GET YOU.
976
00:42:48,125 --> 00:42:49,626
WHAT DO HIS SPONSORS
GIVE HIM?
977
00:42:49,709 --> 00:42:52,167
A FULL YEAR'S SUPPLY
OF THEIR PRODUCT--
978
00:42:52,250 --> 00:42:53,209
CREAM OF MUSH.
979
00:42:53,292 --> 00:42:55,209
CREAM OF MUSH.
WELL, HE'LL GIVE IT
980
00:42:55,292 --> 00:42:57,000
RIGHT BACK TO THEM
OVER THE AIR.
981
00:42:57,083 --> 00:42:59,500
WAIT TILL YOU HEAR TONIGHT'S
BROADCAST, OLD FELLOW.
982
00:42:59,584 --> 00:43:03,375
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET IT
OFF MY FINGERS SINCE I GOT IT.
983
00:43:03,459 --> 00:43:05,125
I'LL BET.
984
00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:07,834
LOOK, I'LL COME CLEAN.
985
00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:09,667
UNDER THE INFLUENCE
OF HEAVEN KNOWS WHAT,
986
00:43:09,751 --> 00:43:11,500
I'VE JUST BOUGHT YOU
A CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
987
00:43:11,584 --> 00:43:13,167
WHY, MR. JEFFERSON, SIR.
988
00:43:13,250 --> 00:43:14,626
I'D LIKE YOU TO SEE IT
989
00:43:14,709 --> 00:43:16,500
BEFORE I THROW AWAY
MY HARD-EARNED MONEY.
990
00:43:16,584 --> 00:43:18,125
CAN WE GO AND CHECK IT?
991
00:43:18,209 --> 00:43:19,751
BERT, THAT'S
VERY SWEET OF YOU.
992
00:43:19,834 --> 00:43:20,918
I'M QUITE TOUCHED.
993
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,417
WHAT IS IT?
I CAN'T WAIT.
994
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:24,167
YOU THINK
I'M GONNA TELL YOU?
995
00:43:24,250 --> 00:43:25,250
COME AND SEE.
996
00:43:25,334 --> 00:43:26,542
ALRIGHT.
997
00:43:28,834 --> 00:43:29,959
SHERRY!
998
00:43:32,584 --> 00:43:33,459
SHERRY,
999
00:43:33,542 --> 00:43:35,250
I'M GOING OUT
FOR A FEW MINUTES
1000
00:43:35,334 --> 00:43:38,500
WITH HORACE GREELEY.
I WON'T BE LONG.
1001
00:43:38,584 --> 00:43:40,250
NOEL, NOEL,
MR. W.
1002
00:43:40,334 --> 00:43:42,125
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
GIN RUMMY TONIGHT
1003
00:43:42,209 --> 00:43:43,500
AFTER YOUR BROADCAST?
1004
00:43:43,584 --> 00:43:46,209
I WILL NOT PLAY GIN RUMMY
WITH YOU, KLONDIKE HARRY.
1005
00:43:46,292 --> 00:43:48,209
YOU'VE BEEN SWINDLING
THE PANTS OFF ME
1006
00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:49,417
FOR 2 WEEKS.
1007
00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:51,542
WHAT ARE YOU GIVING ME
FOR CHRISTMAS, JEFFERSON?
1008
00:43:51,626 --> 00:43:53,292
I'VE ENRICHED
YOUR FEEBLE LIFE
1009
00:43:53,375 --> 00:43:54,876
BEYOND YOUR CAPACITY
TO REPAY ME.
1010
00:43:54,959 --> 00:43:55,959
THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED,
1011
00:43:56,042 --> 00:43:57,626
SO I'M NOT GIVING YOU
ANYTHING.
1012
00:43:57,709 --> 00:43:58,667
I SEE.
1013
00:43:58,751 --> 00:44:00,792
I WAS GONNA
GIVE YOU MY OLD TRUSS,
1014
00:44:00,876 --> 00:44:02,250
BUT NOW I SHAN'T.
1015
00:44:04,292 --> 00:44:07,167
SHERRY, THE RADIO MAN
WILL BE HERE AT 6:30.
1016
00:44:07,250 --> 00:44:08,584
I'LL BE BACK IN TIME.
1017
00:44:08,667 --> 00:44:10,959
WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO,
ANYWAY, MADAM BUTTERFLY?
1018
00:44:11,042 --> 00:44:12,626
I'M BEING GIVEN
A CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
1019
00:44:12,709 --> 00:44:14,667
ANYTHING I CAN BRING
BACK FROM DOWNTOWN?
1020
00:44:14,751 --> 00:44:16,792
YES. BRING BABY
A LOLLIPOP.
1021
00:44:16,876 --> 00:44:18,375
HA HA HA!
1022
00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:21,792
Maggie: I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT YOU BOUGHT ME.
1023
00:44:21,876 --> 00:44:23,167
I'M LIKE
A 10-YEAR-OLD KID.
1024
00:44:23,250 --> 00:44:25,250
YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK LIKE
A 10-YEAR-OLD KID
1025
00:44:25,334 --> 00:44:27,209
RIGHT NOW, MAGGIE,
AT THAT.
1026
00:44:27,292 --> 00:44:29,209
[DOOR CLOSES]
1027
00:44:39,751 --> 00:44:42,918
OPERATOR, GIVE ME
THE MANSION HOUSE.
1028
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,250
NO, I DON'T KNOW
THE NUMBER!
1029
00:44:47,125 --> 00:44:48,417
HELLO.
1030
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:49,876
MANSION HOUSE?
TELL ME,
1031
00:44:49,959 --> 00:44:52,250
HAS A MISS LORRAINE SHELDON
ARRIVED YET?
1032
00:44:52,334 --> 00:44:53,417
YES, THAT'S RIGHT--
1033
00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:55,959
MISS LORRAINE SHELDON
FROM PALM BEACH.
1034
00:44:56,042 --> 00:44:58,042
SHE HASN'T, EH?
1035
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,292
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
1036
00:45:10,459 --> 00:45:12,000
[DOOR OPENS]
1037
00:45:14,834 --> 00:45:16,876
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
COMING IN LIKE THAT?
1038
00:45:16,959 --> 00:45:18,500
WHY DON'T YOU KNOCK?
1039
00:45:18,584 --> 00:45:21,834
BUT I WASN'T COMING IN.
I WAS COMING OUT.
1040
00:45:21,918 --> 00:45:24,626
MISS PREEN, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY
IN THIS ROOM. ISN'T IT?
1041
00:45:24,709 --> 00:45:25,626
YES, IT--
1042
00:45:25,709 --> 00:45:27,000
WELL, THEREFORE
YOU CAME IN.
1043
00:45:27,083 --> 00:45:28,459
HEREAFTER, PLEASE KNOCK.
1044
00:45:28,542 --> 00:45:30,584
THERE ARE SOME EXPRESSMEN
OUTSIDE WITH A CRATE
1045
00:45:30,667 --> 00:45:32,709
I TOLD THEM TO GO
TO THE FRONT.
1046
00:45:32,792 --> 00:45:33,959
THANK YOU, JOHN.
1047
00:45:34,042 --> 00:45:35,209
DON'T STAND
THERE, MISS PREEN.
1048
00:45:35,292 --> 00:45:36,876
YOU LOOK LIKE
A FROZEN CUSTARD.
1049
00:45:36,959 --> 00:45:38,292
GO AWAY!
1050
00:45:42,667 --> 00:45:45,125
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
1051
00:45:45,209 --> 00:45:46,667
WHAT IS IT
THIS TIME, JOE?
1052
00:45:46,751 --> 00:45:47,792
PENGUINS, MR. STANLEY--
1053
00:45:47,876 --> 00:45:49,626
ALL THE WAY FROM
THE SOUTH POLE.
1054
00:45:49,709 --> 00:45:51,792
PENGUINS!
4 OF THEM--
1055
00:45:51,876 --> 00:45:54,918
2 GIRLS AND 2 BOYS,
I THINK.
1056
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,918
4! WELL, HE CAN'T
NAME THEM ALL AFTER ME.
1057
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,542
HERE'S WHERE
YOU COME IN, DAISY.
1058
00:46:00,626 --> 00:46:02,125
HA HA--HUH?
1059
00:46:03,334 --> 00:46:04,500
RIGHT IN HERE, BOYS.
1060
00:46:06,334 --> 00:46:08,500
CAREFUL, NOW.
DON'T BUMP INTO ANYTHING.
1061
00:46:08,584 --> 00:46:10,167
[PENGUINS SQUAWKING]
1062
00:46:10,250 --> 00:46:11,375
WHO'S IT FROM,
JOE?
1063
00:46:11,459 --> 00:46:12,626
ADMIRAL BYRD.
THEY'RE PENGUINS.
1064
00:46:12,709 --> 00:46:15,375
DIRECTIONS ON HOW
TO FEED THEM ON TOP.
1065
00:46:15,459 --> 00:46:17,334
"TO BE FED
ONLY WHALE BLUBBER,
1066
00:46:17,417 --> 00:46:20,334
EELS,
AND CRACKED LOBSTER."
1067
00:46:20,417 --> 00:46:22,000
THEY GOT ROOT BEER
THIS MORNING
1068
00:46:22,083 --> 00:46:23,209
AND LIKED IT.
1069
00:46:24,834 --> 00:46:26,667
HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
YOU KNOW, THEY MAKE
1070
00:46:26,751 --> 00:46:28,542
THE MOST ENTRANCING
COMPANIONS, JOHN.
1071
00:46:28,626 --> 00:46:30,167
ADMIRAL BYRD HAS
ONE THAT GOES
1072
00:46:30,250 --> 00:46:31,667
ON ALL HIS LECTURES.
1073
00:46:31,751 --> 00:46:33,292
I WANT THESE IN
THE LIBRARY.
1074
00:46:33,375 --> 00:46:34,667
TAKE THEM IN,
PLEASE?
1075
00:46:34,751 --> 00:46:37,375
AND TELL SARAH TO ORDER
A COUPLE OF THOSE LOBSTERS.
1076
00:46:37,459 --> 00:46:39,375
THERE'S NO WHALE BLUBBER
IN THIS TOWN.
1077
00:46:39,459 --> 00:46:40,334
GOOD EVENING.
1078
00:46:40,417 --> 00:46:41,876
OH, YES, THERE IS.
1079
00:46:41,959 --> 00:46:43,042
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
MR. WHITESIDE.
1080
00:46:43,125 --> 00:46:44,417
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1081
00:46:44,500 --> 00:46:47,167
YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW IF EELS
ARE IN SEASON, DOCTOR?
1082
00:46:47,250 --> 00:46:48,125
HOW'S THAT?
1083
00:46:48,209 --> 00:46:50,125
NEVER MIND. I WAS
A FOOL TO ASK.
1084
00:46:50,209 --> 00:46:52,209
I OPENED THOSE SLATS
A LITTLE, MR. WHITESIDE.
1085
00:46:52,292 --> 00:46:53,834
THEY SEEMED
SO CROWDED IN THERE.
1086
00:46:53,918 --> 00:46:55,125
OH, THANK YOU, JOHN.
1087
00:46:55,209 --> 00:46:56,584
[CRASH]
1088
00:46:56,667 --> 00:47:00,375
HMM. MUST BE MR. STANLEY
WRESTLING WITH MY OCTOPUS.
1089
00:47:01,417 --> 00:47:02,959
OH, MR. WHITESIDE.
1090
00:47:03,042 --> 00:47:04,083
GOOD-BYE, DOCTOR.
1091
00:47:04,167 --> 00:47:05,876
SORRY YOU HAPPENED
TO DROP IN NOW.
1092
00:47:05,959 --> 00:47:07,709
I HAVE TO DO
MY YOGI EXERCISES.
1093
00:47:07,792 --> 00:47:09,667
BUT, MR. WHITESIDE,
IT'S A WEEK NOW--
1094
00:47:09,751 --> 00:47:10,876
MY BOOK, YOU KNOW.
1095
00:47:10,959 --> 00:47:13,459
WHEN ARE WE GOING TO
START WORK ON MY BOOK?
1096
00:47:13,542 --> 00:47:15,876
I THOUGHT PERHAPS
TODAY MAYBE WE--
1097
00:47:15,959 --> 00:47:17,083
GOOD EVENING,
DR. BRADLEY.
1098
00:47:17,167 --> 00:47:19,584
GOOD EVENING,
MISS PREEN.
1099
00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:23,542
[PENGUINS SQUAWKING]
1100
00:47:25,292 --> 00:47:26,626
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
1101
00:47:30,250 --> 00:47:31,584
DOCTOR, PERHAPS
I'M NOT WELL,
1102
00:47:31,667 --> 00:47:33,751
BUT WHEN I OPENED
THE DOOR JUST NOW,
1103
00:47:33,834 --> 00:47:34,918
I SAW A PENGUIN
1104
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,459
WITH A THERMOMETER
IN HIS MOUTH.
1105
00:47:36,542 --> 00:47:39,167
THOSE PENGUINS GOT
OUT OF THEIR CRATE?
1106
00:47:39,250 --> 00:47:40,292
DID YOU SAY
PENGUINS?
1107
00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:41,542
YES.
1108
00:47:41,626 --> 00:47:44,167
I WAS AFRAID THE STRAIN
WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME.
1109
00:47:44,250 --> 00:47:45,292
PENGUINS?
YES, DOCTOR.
1110
00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:47,125
WOULD YOU GO IN
AND CAPTURE THEM,
1111
00:47:47,209 --> 00:47:48,876
AND PUT THEM
IN THEIR CRATE?
1112
00:47:50,667 --> 00:47:52,125
CAPTURE
THE PENGUINS?
1113
00:47:52,209 --> 00:47:54,083
THAT'S RIGHT,
AND, MISS PREEN,
1114
00:47:54,167 --> 00:47:56,584
WILL YOU ENTERTAIN THEM,
PLEASE, UNTIL I COME IN?
1115
00:47:56,667 --> 00:47:58,125
YES, SIR.
1116
00:47:59,584 --> 00:48:00,792
CHRISTMAS TREE
IN THE BEDROOM
1117
00:48:00,876 --> 00:48:02,083
JUST FELL
ON MR. STANLEY.
1118
00:48:02,167 --> 00:48:04,209
HE GOT A BIG BUMP
ON HIS FOREHEAD.
1119
00:48:04,292 --> 00:48:07,459
HA HA! ISN'T THAT
TOO BAD?
1120
00:48:07,542 --> 00:48:09,918
GO AHEAD, DOCTOR.
GO ON, MISS PREEN.
1121
00:48:11,959 --> 00:48:13,209
HELLO, MR. WHITESIDE.
1122
00:48:13,292 --> 00:48:14,542
HELLO, DICKIE,
MY BOY!
1123
00:48:14,626 --> 00:48:16,792
BUT, MR. WHITESIDE,
WILL YOU HAVE
1124
00:48:16,876 --> 00:48:18,834
SOME TIME LATER TODAY?
MY BOOK.
1125
00:48:18,918 --> 00:48:21,542
WELL, I DON'T KNOW,
DOCTOR. I'M BUSY NOW.
1126
00:48:21,626 --> 00:48:23,542
WELL, SUPPOSE I WAIT
A LITTLE WHILE?
1127
00:48:23,626 --> 00:48:25,250
I'LL WAIT
A LITTLE WHILE.
1128
00:48:25,334 --> 00:48:26,792
DR. BRADLEY
IS THE GREATEST
1129
00:48:26,876 --> 00:48:29,500
LIVING ARGUMENT
FOR MERCY KILLING.
1130
00:48:29,584 --> 00:48:30,834
WELL, RICHARD,
WOULD YOU LIKE
1131
00:48:30,918 --> 00:48:32,000
A CANDID CAMERA SHOT
1132
00:48:32,083 --> 00:48:33,542
OF MY LEFT NOSTRIL
THIS EVENING?
1133
00:48:33,626 --> 00:48:35,292
I'M SORT OF
STOCKED UP ON THOSE.
1134
00:48:35,375 --> 00:48:38,209
YOU GOT A MINUTE TO SEE
SOME NEW ONES I'VE TAKEN?
1135
00:48:38,292 --> 00:48:39,626
I CERTAINLY HAVE.
1136
00:48:42,083 --> 00:48:43,959
THESE ARE
SPLENDID, RICHARD.
1137
00:48:44,042 --> 00:48:46,334
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT THIS.
1138
00:48:46,417 --> 00:48:48,042
YOU'RE NOT A KID
FOOLING AROUND
1139
00:48:48,125 --> 00:48:49,083
WITH A CAMERA.
1140
00:48:49,167 --> 00:48:50,000
THESE ARE GOOD.
1141
00:48:50,083 --> 00:48:51,667
THIS IS WHAT
YOU OUGHT TO DO.
1142
00:48:51,751 --> 00:48:54,500
YOU MUST DO SOME OF THOSE
THINGS YOU'VE BEEN TELLING ME.
1143
00:48:54,584 --> 00:48:56,959
GET ON A BOAT. GET OFF
WHEREVER IT STOPS--
1144
00:48:57,042 --> 00:48:59,000
GALVESTON, MEXICO,
SINGAPORE!
1145
00:48:59,083 --> 00:49:01,500
WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH
AND TAKE PICTURES--
1146
00:49:01,584 --> 00:49:02,834
TERRIBLE PICTURES,
WONDERFUL PICTURES,
1147
00:49:02,918 --> 00:49:04,042
EVERYTHING.
1148
00:49:04,125 --> 00:49:06,667
THEN, I'D BE THE HAPPIEST
GUY IN THE WORLD.
1149
00:49:06,751 --> 00:49:07,876
WHY CAN'T YOU DO IT?
1150
00:49:07,959 --> 00:49:10,000
IF I WERE YOUR AGE,
I'D DO IT.
1151
00:49:10,083 --> 00:49:11,334
YOU KNOW WHY.
1152
00:49:11,417 --> 00:49:12,876
DAD.
1153
00:49:12,959 --> 00:49:16,375
DO YOU REALLY WANNNA DO THIS
MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE?
1154
00:49:16,459 --> 00:49:17,459
I CERTAINLY DO.
1155
00:49:17,542 --> 00:49:18,667
WELL, THEN DO IT.
1156
00:49:18,751 --> 00:49:19,667
HELLO, DICK.
1157
00:49:19,751 --> 00:49:21,250
GOOD EVENING,
MR. WHITESIDE.
1158
00:49:21,334 --> 00:49:22,584
HELLO, LOVELY.
1159
00:49:22,667 --> 00:49:25,209
SO, RICHARD, I'M AFRAID
IT'S UP TO YOU.
1160
00:49:25,292 --> 00:49:26,792
I GUESS IT IS.
1161
00:49:26,876 --> 00:49:28,042
THANK YOU,
MR. WHITESIDE.
1162
00:49:28,125 --> 00:49:30,000
YOU'VE BEEN SWELL,
I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.
1163
00:49:30,083 --> 00:49:31,000
ALRIGHT, RICHARD.
1164
00:49:31,083 --> 00:49:32,042
ARE YOU COMING UPSTAIRS?
1165
00:49:32,125 --> 00:49:33,334
YES, IN
A FEW MINUTES.
1166
00:49:33,417 --> 00:49:35,709
KNOCK ON MY DOOR,
I WANNA TALK TO YOU.
1167
00:49:35,792 --> 00:49:37,209
YES, I WILL.
UH, MR. WHITESIDE,
1168
00:49:37,292 --> 00:49:39,417
MAY I SPEAK TO YOU
FOR A FEW MINUTES?
1169
00:49:39,500 --> 00:49:42,042
WHY, CERTAINLY, MY DEAR.
I TAKE IT THIS IS ABOUT
1170
00:49:42,125 --> 00:49:43,959
YOUR YOUNG LOTHARIO
AT THE FACTORY.
1171
00:49:44,042 --> 00:49:46,751
YES. I SIMPLY CAN'T GET
FATHER TO UNDERSTAND.
1172
00:49:46,834 --> 00:49:48,459
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
1173
00:49:48,542 --> 00:49:51,125
SANDY AND I LOVE EACH OTHER.
1174
00:49:51,209 --> 00:49:53,000
I'D LIKE TO
MEET THIS YOUNG MAN.
1175
00:49:53,083 --> 00:49:54,876
I'D LIKE TO SEE HIM
FOR MYSELF.
1176
00:49:54,959 --> 00:49:56,125
WOULD YOU MEET HIM?
1177
00:49:56,209 --> 00:49:57,709
HE'S OUTSIDE.
HE'S IN THE KITCHEN.
1178
00:49:57,792 --> 00:49:59,000
GOOD. BRING HIM IN.
1179
00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,542
OH, MR. WHITESIDE,
1180
00:50:00,626 --> 00:50:01,918
HE'S A VERY
SENSITIVE BOY.
1181
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,792
YOU'LL BE KIND
TO HIM, WON'T YOU?
1182
00:50:03,876 --> 00:50:04,751
CONFOUND IT, JUNE!
1183
00:50:04,834 --> 00:50:06,375
WHEN ARE YOU GOING
TO LEARN
1184
00:50:06,459 --> 00:50:08,459
THAT I'M ALWAYS
KIND AND COURTEOUS?
1185
00:50:08,542 --> 00:50:10,250
BRING THIS IDIOT IN.
1186
00:50:11,667 --> 00:50:13,918
SANDY. SANDY!
1187
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,626
HERE HE IS, MR. WHITESIDE.
THIS IS SANDY.
1188
00:50:16,709 --> 00:50:17,959
HOW DO YOU DO,
SIR?
1189
00:50:18,042 --> 00:50:19,250
HOW DO YOU DO?
1190
00:50:19,334 --> 00:50:21,918
I'VE BEEN HEARING A GOOD
DEAL ABOUT YOU FROM JUNE.
1191
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,584
IF I HAVE BEEN
CORRECTLY INFORMED,
1192
00:50:23,667 --> 00:50:25,375
YOU TWO BABES
IN THE WOODS
1193
00:50:25,459 --> 00:50:27,083
HAVE GONE QUIETLY
OUT OF YOUR MINDS.
1194
00:50:27,167 --> 00:50:29,250
THERE'S ANOTHER NAME FOR IT.
IT'S CALLED LOVE.
1195
00:50:29,334 --> 00:50:31,000
WELL, YOU'VE COME
TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
1196
00:50:31,083 --> 00:50:33,209
DR. SHERIDAN WHITESIDE--
BROKEN HEARTS MENDED,
1197
00:50:33,292 --> 00:50:34,834
BRAKES RELINED,
HAMBURGERS.
1198
00:50:34,918 --> 00:50:36,125
GO RIGHT AHEAD.
1199
00:50:36,209 --> 00:50:37,709
IF JUNE HAS TOLD
YOU ANYTHING,
1200
00:50:37,792 --> 00:50:39,250
YOU KNOW THE JAM
WE'RE IN.
1201
00:50:39,334 --> 00:50:40,751
I WORK FOR THE
UNION,
1202
00:50:40,834 --> 00:50:42,209
MR. WHITESIDE.
I'M AN ORGANIZER,
1203
00:50:42,292 --> 00:50:44,626
I'VE BEEN ORGANIZING THE MEN
AT MR. STANLEY'S FACTORY,
1204
00:50:44,709 --> 00:50:46,292
AND MR. STANLEY'S
SORE ABOUT IT.
1205
00:50:46,375 --> 00:50:47,334
HA HA! I'LL BET.
1206
00:50:47,417 --> 00:50:48,459
JUNE TOLD YOU.
1207
00:50:48,542 --> 00:50:49,500
YES, SHE DID.
1208
00:50:49,584 --> 00:50:50,876
SANDY'S LEAVING TOWN
TONIGHT
1209
00:50:50,959 --> 00:50:52,042
FOR CHICAGO,
MR. WHITESIDE.
1210
00:50:52,125 --> 00:50:53,876
HE'LL PROBABLY
BE GONE A YEAR.
1211
00:50:53,959 --> 00:50:55,584
WE'VE SIMPLY
GOT TO DECIDE NOW.
1212
00:50:55,667 --> 00:50:57,167
WELL, MY DEAR,
IT'S ABSURDLY SIMPLE.
1213
00:50:57,250 --> 00:50:58,417
IT'S NO PROBLEM AT ALL.
1214
00:50:58,500 --> 00:51:00,000
SUPPOSE YOUR PARENTS
ARE UNHAPPY.
1215
00:51:00,083 --> 00:51:01,792
IT'S GOOD FOR THEM--
DEVELOPS THEIR CHARACTERS.
1216
00:51:01,876 --> 00:51:04,626
LOOK AT ME.
I LEFT HOME AT THE AGE OF 4,
1217
00:51:04,709 --> 00:51:06,125
AND I HAVEN'T BEEN
BACK SINCE.
1218
00:51:06,209 --> 00:51:09,000
THEY HEAR ME OVER THE RADIO,
AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR THEM.
1219
00:51:09,083 --> 00:51:10,792
THEN YOUR ADVICE IS
TO GO AHEAD?
1220
00:51:10,876 --> 00:51:12,459
IT IS. MARRY HIM
TONIGHT, JUNE.
1221
00:51:12,542 --> 00:51:13,667
YOU MEAN THAT?
1222
00:51:13,751 --> 00:51:15,042
NO.
1223
00:51:15,125 --> 00:51:17,083
I MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD
MARRY WALTER WINCHELL.
1224
00:51:17,167 --> 00:51:20,167
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO,
SAY IT ALL OVER AGAIN?
1225
00:51:20,250 --> 00:51:22,042
Ernest: DAISY,
I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER.
1226
00:51:22,125 --> 00:51:24,292
THERE'S DAD.
COME ON.
1227
00:51:26,584 --> 00:51:27,959
[DOOR CLOSES]
1228
00:51:31,709 --> 00:51:33,667
FORGIVE US FOR TRESPASSING,
MR. WHITESIDE.
1229
00:51:33,751 --> 00:51:36,292
NOT AT ALL, OLD FELLOW.
IT'S CHRISTMAS, YOU KNOW.
1230
00:51:36,375 --> 00:51:38,167
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1231
00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:40,834
AH, YES, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
COME ALONG, DAISY.
1232
00:51:40,918 --> 00:51:41,918
WHY, MR. STANLEY,
1233
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,500
WHAT HAS HAPPENED
TO YOUR FOREHEAD?
1234
00:51:43,584 --> 00:51:45,083
HAVE YOU HAD
AN ACCIDENT?
1235
00:51:45,167 --> 00:51:47,626
NO, MR. WHITESIDE.
I AM TAKING BOXING LESSONS.
1236
00:51:47,709 --> 00:51:49,167
ALRIGHT, DAISY.
1237
00:51:50,792 --> 00:51:52,000
BOO!
1238
00:51:58,334 --> 00:52:00,292
[WHISPERING]
Good-bye.
1239
00:52:02,417 --> 00:52:03,667
[DOOR CLOSES]
1240
00:52:06,751 --> 00:52:08,375
DEAR MR. WHITESIDE,
1241
00:52:08,459 --> 00:52:11,125
I'VE BEEN TRYING
ALL DAY TO SEE YOU
1242
00:52:11,209 --> 00:52:12,459
TO GIVE YOU THIS.
1243
00:52:12,542 --> 00:52:14,709
WHY, MISS STANLEY,
A CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR ME?
1244
00:52:14,792 --> 00:52:16,250
OH, IT'S JUST
A TRIFLE,
1245
00:52:16,334 --> 00:52:18,292
BUT I WANTED YOU
TO HAVE IT.
1246
00:52:18,375 --> 00:52:21,500
IT'S A PICTURE OF ME
AS I USED TO BE.
1247
00:52:21,584 --> 00:52:23,751
IT WAS TAKEN ON
ANOTHER CHRISTMAS EVE
1248
00:52:23,834 --> 00:52:25,584
MANY YEARS AGO.
1249
00:52:28,292 --> 00:52:30,459
DON'T OPEN IT TILL
THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT,
1250
00:52:30,542 --> 00:52:32,000
WILL YOU?
1251
00:52:34,209 --> 00:52:37,751
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
DEAR MR. WHITESIDE.
1252
00:52:37,834 --> 00:52:39,542
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1253
00:52:39,626 --> 00:52:41,459
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
MISS STANLEY,
1254
00:52:41,542 --> 00:52:43,083
AND THANK YOU.
1255
00:52:52,584 --> 00:52:54,125
[DOOR CLOSES]
1256
00:53:02,709 --> 00:53:04,792
MIGHTY NIFTY-LOOKING
PACKAGE.
1257
00:53:04,876 --> 00:53:06,417
HAD QUITE A STRUGGLE
WITH MYSELF
1258
00:53:06,500 --> 00:53:08,250
BEFORE I DECIDED
NOT TO OPEN IT.
1259
00:53:08,334 --> 00:53:09,918
HERE YOU ARE,
MAGGIE.
1260
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:11,626
I'M SO EXCITED.
1261
00:53:11,709 --> 00:53:14,375
JUST SIGN FOR IT,
WILL YOU PLEASE?
1262
00:53:14,459 --> 00:53:17,500
KNOW WHAT I'M GIVING
MY WIFE? A PIPE.
1263
00:53:17,584 --> 00:53:18,792
A PIPE?
1264
00:53:18,876 --> 00:53:20,417
THAT DOESN'T SOUND
VERY SENSIBLE.
1265
00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:22,918
IT'S AS SENSIBLE
AS THE VACUUM CLEANER
1266
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:24,250
SHE'S GIVING ME.
1267
00:53:24,334 --> 00:53:26,709
HA HA HA!
1268
00:53:26,792 --> 00:53:29,709
OH, LOOK HOW BEAUTIFULLY
IT'S WRAPPED.
1269
00:53:42,626 --> 00:53:45,125
WHY, BERT,
HOW WONDERFUL.
1270
00:53:46,542 --> 00:53:47,792
HERE'S A TYPEWRITER.
1271
00:53:47,876 --> 00:53:49,083
THAT'S WHAT
BROUGHT US TOGETHER.
1272
00:53:49,167 --> 00:53:51,000
REMEMBER THE DAY
YOU FIXED THE RIBBON?
1273
00:53:51,083 --> 00:53:51,959
UH-HUH.
1274
00:53:52,042 --> 00:53:53,375
AND A PAIR OF ICE SKATES
1275
00:53:53,459 --> 00:53:55,584
TO REMIND YOU NEVER
TO GO SKATING AGAIN.
1276
00:53:55,667 --> 00:53:56,918
HA HA HA!
1277
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,584
THIS LITTLE HEART WITH
THE ARROW THROUGH IT--
1278
00:53:59,667 --> 00:54:01,292
THEY JUST HAD THAT
IN THE CATALOG.
1279
00:54:01,375 --> 00:54:04,292
BERT, THIS IS THE NICEST
CHRISTMAS I'VE EVER HAD.
1280
00:54:04,375 --> 00:54:07,792
WELL, I JUST NEVER HAPPENED
TO BE AROUND BEFORE.
1281
00:54:07,876 --> 00:54:09,918
I'M CERTAINLY GLAD
THAT SHERRY FELL
1282
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:11,542
AND FRACTURED HIS HIP.
1283
00:54:11,626 --> 00:54:13,417
HA HA HA!
1284
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:16,167
OH, THERE'S A LITTLE
SOMETHING ENGRAVED ON THEM.
1285
00:54:16,250 --> 00:54:18,042
HERE.
IT STARTS HERE.
1286
00:54:18,125 --> 00:54:20,375
"FAINT...
1287
00:54:20,459 --> 00:54:22,000
"HEARTS...
1288
00:54:22,083 --> 00:54:23,584
"NE'ER...
1289
00:54:23,667 --> 00:54:24,876
"WON...
1290
00:54:24,959 --> 00:54:26,792
FAIR LADY."
1291
00:54:28,042 --> 00:54:29,959
"NOR...
1292
00:54:30,042 --> 00:54:31,959
"IRON...
1293
00:54:32,042 --> 00:54:34,626
"BARS...
1294
00:54:34,709 --> 00:54:36,334
A CAGE."
1295
00:54:36,417 --> 00:54:38,209
WELL, BERT, IT'S A
VERY NICE SENTIMENT,
1296
00:54:38,292 --> 00:54:40,500
BUT ISN'T IT A BIT
GRIM TOWARDS THE END?
1297
00:54:40,584 --> 00:54:42,667
WELL, IT SHOULD HAVE ENDED
AFTER "FAIR LADY."
1298
00:54:42,751 --> 00:54:43,792
THANK YOU, SIR.
1299
00:54:43,876 --> 00:54:45,959
I GUESS HE JUST HAD
SOME EXTRA CHARMS
1300
00:54:46,042 --> 00:54:46,959
LAYING AROUND.
1301
00:54:47,042 --> 00:54:48,751
OH, HEAVENS.
I'VE GOT TO GET BACK.
1302
00:54:48,834 --> 00:54:51,375
SHERRY BROADCASTS
AT 7:00. COME ON.
1303
00:54:51,459 --> 00:54:52,667
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
1304
00:54:52,751 --> 00:54:55,042
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, BERT!
1305
00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:57,209
IF YOU EVER GET MARRIED,
HOW MANY CHILDREN
1306
00:54:57,292 --> 00:54:58,209
ARE YOU GONNA HAVE?
1307
00:54:58,292 --> 00:55:00,709
6 OR 7.
GOOD-BYE.
1308
00:55:00,792 --> 00:55:02,792
HEY, I'LL MAKE IT 4.
1309
00:55:02,876 --> 00:55:04,083
THAT I MIGHT CONSIDER.
1310
00:55:11,792 --> 00:55:14,042
COSETTE, TAKE EVERYTHING
ON TO THE HOTEL, WILL YOU?
1311
00:55:14,125 --> 00:55:16,334
I'M GOING RIGHT OUT
AND SEE POOR MR. WHITESIDE.
1312
00:55:16,417 --> 00:55:18,792
GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WEAR.
I FEEL SO NAKED.
1313
00:55:18,876 --> 00:55:20,459
OUI, MADAME.
1314
00:55:25,959 --> 00:55:27,500
THERE.
1315
00:55:28,500 --> 00:55:30,626
[WOLF WHISTLES]
1316
00:55:31,918 --> 00:55:33,542
[TRAIN WHISTLE]
1317
00:55:33,626 --> 00:55:35,709
TAXI?
TAXI, LADY?
1318
00:55:35,792 --> 00:55:38,459
TAXI, LADY?
TAXI?
1319
00:55:38,542 --> 00:55:40,667
THIS WAY, MISS.
1320
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:45,500
OH...
1321
00:55:48,042 --> 00:55:50,083
THIS IS THE STANLEY
RESIDENCE, ISN'T IT?
1322
00:55:50,167 --> 00:55:51,083
YES, IT IS.
1323
00:55:51,167 --> 00:55:52,584
I'VE COME TO SEE
MR. WHITESIDE.
1324
00:55:52,667 --> 00:55:54,083
TELL HIM MISS SHELDON
IS HERE?
1325
00:55:54,167 --> 00:55:57,417
Whiteside: LORRAINE,
MY BLOSSOM GIRL!
1326
00:55:57,500 --> 00:56:00,125
DARLING!
OH, DARLING,
1327
00:56:00,209 --> 00:56:02,584
LOOK AT THAT POOR,
SWEET, TORTURED FACE.
1328
00:56:02,667 --> 00:56:03,918
LET ME KISS IT.
1329
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:05,751
OH, DARLING,
HOW DRAWN YOU ARE.
1330
00:56:05,834 --> 00:56:07,709
SHERRY, MY SWEET,
I'M GOING TO CRY.
1331
00:56:07,792 --> 00:56:10,584
ALRIGHT. YOU'VE MADE A
VERY NICE ENTRANCE. RELAX.
1332
00:56:10,667 --> 00:56:11,918
DARLING,
I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED,
1333
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:13,584
AND SEEING YOU
IN THAT CHAIR--
1334
00:56:13,667 --> 00:56:16,250
THIS CHAIR FITS MY CONTOURS
AS NOTHING ELSE EVER HAS.
1335
00:56:16,334 --> 00:56:18,250
I'M FEELING BETTER
THAN I HAVE IN YEARS,
1336
00:56:18,334 --> 00:56:20,542
ONLY CONCERN IS NEWS
OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
1337
00:56:20,626 --> 00:56:22,500
TAKE OFF THAT SKUNK,
AND TELL ME.
1338
00:56:22,584 --> 00:56:23,918
HOW ARE YOU,
MY DARLING?
1339
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,042
DARLING, I'M SO RELIEVED.
YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.
1340
00:56:26,125 --> 00:56:27,792
MY DEAR, DO I
LOOK A WRECK!
1341
00:56:27,876 --> 00:56:30,125
I JUMPED ON THE TRAIN
THE MINUTE YOU CALLED.
1342
00:56:30,209 --> 00:56:32,292
PALM BEACH HAS BEEN
SO HECTIC THIS SEASON.
1343
00:56:32,375 --> 00:56:33,375
FUN, BUT SIMPLY EXHAUSTING--
1344
00:56:33,459 --> 00:56:34,542
CHUCK WHITNEY,
CARY GRANT,
1345
00:56:34,626 --> 00:56:36,125
BARBARA HUTTON--
JUST TOO EXHAUSTING!
1346
00:56:36,209 --> 00:56:38,959
I NEVER GOT TO BED.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.
1347
00:56:39,042 --> 00:56:42,125
START WITH THE DIRT FIRST,
THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.
1348
00:56:42,209 --> 00:56:43,500
HMM...LET ME SEE.
1349
00:56:43,584 --> 00:56:44,751
OH, YES!
1350
00:56:44,834 --> 00:56:46,834
SIBYL CARTWRIGHT WAS ORDERED
RIGHT OFF THE BEACH.
1351
00:56:46,918 --> 00:56:48,626
IT HAPPENED THE DAY
BEFORE I LEFT.
1352
00:56:48,709 --> 00:56:50,542
SHE HAD ON A
CELLOPHANE BATHING SUITS,
1353
00:56:50,626 --> 00:56:52,751
AND YOU COULD PRACTICALLY
SEE THE WAVES BREAKING.
1354
00:56:52,834 --> 00:56:54,167
OH! POOR OLD SIBYL.
1355
00:56:54,250 --> 00:56:56,000
AND LOUISE CURTIS--
YOU KNOW HER, SHERRY.
1356
00:56:56,083 --> 00:56:57,792
WELL, SHE JUST DIVORCED
HER FOURTH HUSBAND
1357
00:56:57,876 --> 00:56:59,959
AND REMARRIED HER SECOND.
IT WAS AWFULLY MESSY,
1358
00:57:00,042 --> 00:57:01,834
BECAUSE BEFORE HE
COULD REMARRY HER,
1359
00:57:01,918 --> 00:57:03,709
HE HAD TO DIVORCE
HIS THIRD WIFE,
1360
00:57:03,792 --> 00:57:04,709
WHO IS LOUISE'S MOTHER.
1361
00:57:04,792 --> 00:57:06,292
BUT IT WAS
A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING.
1362
00:57:06,375 --> 00:57:07,834
OH, AND BEFORE I FORGET IT,
1363
00:57:07,918 --> 00:57:09,834
ELSA MAXWELL GAVE ME
A MESSAGE FOR YOU.
1364
00:57:09,918 --> 00:57:11,876
SHE WANTS YOU TO TAKE
OFF 25 POUNDS
1365
00:57:11,959 --> 00:57:14,042
AND SEND THEM TO HER.
SHE NEEDS THEM.
1366
00:57:14,125 --> 00:57:15,167
OH, HA HA HA!
1367
00:57:15,250 --> 00:57:16,667
THEY SHALL BE
PACKED IN ICE.
1368
00:57:16,751 --> 00:57:18,250
NOW, COME ON.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
1369
00:57:18,334 --> 00:57:20,042
WHAT ABOUT YOU
AND THAT SPLENDID BIT
1370
00:57:20,125 --> 00:57:21,834
OF ENGLISH MUTTON,
LORD BOTTOMLY?
1371
00:57:21,918 --> 00:57:23,167
HAVEN'T YOU
HOOKED HIM YET?
1372
00:57:23,250 --> 00:57:24,500
SHERRY, PLEASE.
1373
00:57:24,584 --> 00:57:26,667
HE'S JUST A VERY
DEAR FRIEND OF MINE.
1374
00:57:26,751 --> 00:57:28,792
NOW, BLOSSOM GIRL,
THIS IS SHERRY.
1375
00:57:28,876 --> 00:57:30,334
DON'T TRY TO PULL
THE BEDCLOTHES
1376
00:57:30,417 --> 00:57:31,834
OVER MY EYES.
DON'T TELL ME
1377
00:57:31,918 --> 00:57:33,667
YOU WOULDN'T LIKE
TO BE LADY BOTTOMLY
1378
00:57:33,751 --> 00:57:36,083
WITH £100,000 A YEAR
AND 12 CASTLES.
1379
00:57:36,167 --> 00:57:38,667
BY THE WAY, HAS HE
HAD HIS TEETH FIXED YET?
1380
00:57:38,751 --> 00:57:40,250
EVERY TIME I ORDER
ROQUEFORT CHEESE,
1381
00:57:40,334 --> 00:57:42,125
I THINK OF THOSE TEETH.
1382
00:57:43,209 --> 00:57:45,334
SHERRY, REALLY!
1383
00:57:45,417 --> 00:57:46,918
CEDRIC MAY NOT BE
BRILLIANT,
1384
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:48,542
BUT HE'S RATHER
SWEET, POOR LAMB,
1385
00:57:48,626 --> 00:57:49,918
AND VERY FOND OF ME.
1386
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,876
AFTER ALL,
IF I CAN MARRY HIM,
1387
00:57:51,959 --> 00:57:53,375
I DON'T SEE
WHY I SHOULDN'T.
1388
00:57:53,459 --> 00:57:55,209
SHALL I TELL YOU SOMETHING,
SHERRY, DARLING?
1389
00:57:55,292 --> 00:57:57,250
I THINK, FROM SOMETHING
HE SAID TO ME,
1390
00:57:57,334 --> 00:57:59,042
THAT HE'S FINALLY
COMING AROUND TO IT.
1391
00:57:59,125 --> 00:58:01,417
NOTHING DEFINITE,
BUT DON'T BE SURPRISED
1392
00:58:01,500 --> 00:58:03,292
IF I AM LADY BOTTOMLY
BEFORE LONG.
1393
00:58:03,375 --> 00:58:04,584
LADY BOTTOMLY.
1394
00:58:04,667 --> 00:58:06,042
WON'T KANSAS CITY
BE SURPRISED?
1395
00:58:06,125 --> 00:58:07,792
HOWEVER, I SHALL BE
A FLOWER GIRL,
1396
00:58:07,876 --> 00:58:09,918
AND SHALL GIVE THE GROOM
AN IRON TOOTHPICK
1397
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:10,959
AS A WEDDING PRESENT.
1398
00:58:11,042 --> 00:58:12,209
NOW, COME ON,
MY BLOSSOM,
1399
00:58:12,292 --> 00:58:14,209
I WANT SOME MORE
OF YOUR SKULDUGGERY.
1400
00:58:14,292 --> 00:58:15,500
WELL, AT--
1401
00:58:15,584 --> 00:58:16,584
OH, UH,
MR. WHITESIDE--
1402
00:58:16,667 --> 00:58:17,918
OH, NO.
I'M BUSY NOW.
1403
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,083
YES, BUT I--
1404
00:58:19,167 --> 00:58:20,042
GO AWAY!
1405
00:58:20,125 --> 00:58:21,667
YES, SIR.
YES, SIR.
1406
00:58:21,751 --> 00:58:23,292
[PENGUIN SQUAWKING]
1407
00:58:24,417 --> 00:58:25,751
[DOOR CLOSES]
1408
00:58:25,834 --> 00:58:26,876
WHAT WAS THAT?
1409
00:58:26,959 --> 00:58:27,918
HE'S FIXING
THE PLUMBING.
1410
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:29,667
NOW, COME ON.
I WANT SOME NEWS.
1411
00:58:29,751 --> 00:58:31,876
BUT, SHERRY, DARLING,
WHAT ABOUT THIS PLAY?
1412
00:58:31,959 --> 00:58:34,417
AFTER ALL, I'VE COME
ALL THE WAY FROM PALM BEACH,
1413
00:58:34,500 --> 00:58:36,459
EVEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE.
I'VE BEEN SO EXCITED
1414
00:58:36,542 --> 00:58:38,375
EVER SINCE YOU
TELEPHONED ME ABOUT IT.
1415
00:58:38,459 --> 00:58:39,709
WHEN CAN I READ IT?
1416
00:58:39,792 --> 00:58:41,876
HERE'S THE SITUATION.
THIS YOUNG AUTHOR--
1417
00:58:41,959 --> 00:58:43,459
HIS NAME IS
BERT JEFFERSON--
1418
00:58:43,542 --> 00:58:46,667
BROUGHT ME THE PLAY SO I
SEND
IT TO KATHARINE CORNELL.
1419
00:58:46,751 --> 00:58:47,918
IT'S A MAGNIFICENT PART,
1420
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,417
AND I FEEL DISLOYAL
TO KITT.
1421
00:58:49,500 --> 00:58:50,876
SHERRY.
I'VE DONE THIS MUCH.
1422
00:58:50,959 --> 00:58:53,834
THE REST IS UP TO YOU.
HE'S YOUNG, ATTRACTIVE.
1423
00:58:53,918 --> 00:58:55,584
JUST HOW YOU'LL GO ABOUT
PERSUADING HIM
1424
00:58:55,667 --> 00:58:58,125
I'M SURE YOU KNOW MORE
ABOUT THAN I DO,
1425
00:58:58,209 --> 00:58:59,292
OH, DARLING,
1426
00:58:59,375 --> 00:59:00,918
HOW CAN I EVER
THANK YOU?
1427
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,459
DOES HE KNOW
I'M COMING?
1428
00:59:02,542 --> 00:59:03,584
THIS YOUNG MAN,
I MEAN.
1429
00:59:03,667 --> 00:59:04,709
NO, NO, NO!
1430
00:59:04,792 --> 00:59:05,918
YOU'RE OUT HERE
VISITING ME.
1431
00:59:06,042 --> 00:59:07,459
YOU'LL MEET HIM,
AND THAT'S THAT.
1432
00:59:07,542 --> 00:59:10,125
GO OUT TO DINNER AND WORK
AROUND TO THE PLAY.
1433
00:59:10,209 --> 00:59:13,292
I DON'T HAVE TO
TELL YOU THESE THINGS.
1434
00:59:13,375 --> 00:59:14,876
SHERRY!
1435
00:59:14,959 --> 00:59:17,584
I'LL RUN BACK AND GET INTO
SOMETHING MORE ATTRACTIVE.
1436
00:59:17,667 --> 00:59:19,959
I DUMPED MY BAGS AND
RUSHED RIGHT OVER HERE.
1437
00:59:20,042 --> 00:59:21,250
DARLING,
YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
1438
00:59:21,334 --> 00:59:22,500
ALRIGHT.
NOW RUN ALONG
1439
00:59:22,584 --> 00:59:24,000
AND GET INTO YOUR
WORKING CLOTHES.
1440
00:59:24,083 --> 00:59:26,626
THEN YOU COME BACK AND SPEND
CHRISTMAS EVE WITH SHERRY
1441
00:59:26,709 --> 00:59:28,125
I'LL HAVE
MR. JEFFERSON ON TAP.
1442
00:59:28,209 --> 00:59:30,626
AND DON'T MENTION
A WORD OF THE PLAY
1443
00:59:30,709 --> 00:59:31,834
IN FRONT OF MAGGIE.
1444
00:59:31,918 --> 00:59:33,709
SHE'S A FRIEND
OF KITT CORNELL'S.
1445
00:59:33,792 --> 00:59:35,500
I'LL JUST BE POLITE
WITH MAGGIE.
1446
00:59:35,584 --> 00:59:37,500
OH, I'VE GOT A LITTLE
SURPRISE FOR YOU.
1447
00:59:37,584 --> 00:59:40,125
WHO DO YOU SUPPOSE IS PAYING
ME A VISIT TONIGHT?
1448
00:59:40,209 --> 00:59:41,667
NONE OTHER THAN
YOUR OLD FRIEND
1449
00:59:41,751 --> 00:59:43,042
AND FELLOW ACTOR
BEVERLY CARLTON.
1450
00:59:43,125 --> 00:59:44,459
BEVERLY? REALLY?
1451
00:59:44,542 --> 00:59:46,375
I THOUGHT HE WAS
BEING GLAMOROUS AGAIN
1452
00:59:46,459 --> 00:59:47,626
ON A TRAMP STEAMER.
1453
00:59:47,709 --> 00:59:49,500
OH, COME, COME, BLOSSOM.
MUSTN'T BE BITTER
1454
00:59:49,584 --> 00:59:51,834
JUST BECAUSE HE GOT
BETTER NOTICES THAN YOU DID.
1455
00:59:51,918 --> 00:59:54,417
DON'T BE SILLY, SHERRY.
I NEVER READ NOTICES.
1456
00:59:54,500 --> 00:59:57,167
I SIMPLY WOULDN'T CARE
TO ACT WITH HIM AGAIN.
1457
00:59:57,250 --> 00:59:59,500
HE'S NOT STAYING HERE,
IS HE? I HOPE NOT.
1458
00:59:59,584 --> 01:00:01,167
TEMPER, TEMPER, TEMPER.
NO, HE'S NOT.
1459
01:00:01,250 --> 01:00:03,334
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT
DIAMOND BRACELET, DEAR?
1460
01:00:03,417 --> 01:00:04,834
THAT'S A NEW BIT
OF LOOT?
1461
01:00:04,918 --> 01:00:06,584
HAVEN'T YOU SEEN
THIS BEFORE?
1462
01:00:06,667 --> 01:00:08,876
CEDRIC GAVE IT TO ME
FOR HIS MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY.
1463
01:00:08,959 --> 01:00:10,709
SHE WAS SIMPLY FURIOUS!
OH, BUT, DARLING,
1464
01:00:10,792 --> 01:00:12,334
I HAVE A TAXI
WAITING OUTSIDE.
1465
01:00:12,417 --> 01:00:13,626
IF I'M TO GET BACK--
1466
01:00:13,709 --> 01:00:14,667
Maggie: SHERRY!
1467
01:00:14,751 --> 01:00:17,292
SHERRY, WHAT DO
YOU THINK--
1468
01:00:17,375 --> 01:00:18,542
OH, HELLO, MAGGIE.
1469
01:00:18,626 --> 01:00:20,375
I KNEW YOU MUST BE
AROUND SOMEWHERE.
1470
01:00:20,459 --> 01:00:23,417
HOW ARE YOU, MY DEAR?
1471
01:00:23,500 --> 01:00:24,959
SANTA CLAUS HAS
BEEN AT WORK.
1472
01:00:25,042 --> 01:00:26,209
LORRAINE-BLOSSOM
JUST DROPPED IN
1473
01:00:26,292 --> 01:00:28,250
OUT OF THE BLUE
AND SURPRISED US.
1474
01:00:29,417 --> 01:00:30,459
HELLO, LORRAINE.
1475
01:00:30,542 --> 01:00:31,542
HELLO.
1476
01:00:31,626 --> 01:00:33,584
BERT, IS THAT YOU?
COME RIGHT IN, BERT.
1477
01:00:33,667 --> 01:00:35,042
BERT JEFFERSON,
MISS LORRAINE SHELDON.
1478
01:00:35,125 --> 01:00:36,709
HOW DO YOU DO,
MISS SHELDON?
1479
01:00:36,792 --> 01:00:38,083
HOW DO YOU DO?
1480
01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:41,250
I DIDN'T QUITE CATCH
THE NAME: JEFFERSON?
1481
01:00:41,334 --> 01:00:43,500
THAT'S RIGHT, PET.
1482
01:00:44,918 --> 01:00:47,000
WHY, MR. JEFFERSON,
1483
01:00:47,083 --> 01:00:48,542
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE
A NEWSPAPERMAN.
1484
01:00:48,626 --> 01:00:50,626
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE
A NEWSPAPERMAN AT ALL.
1485
01:00:50,709 --> 01:00:52,209
REALLY? I THOUGHT
IT WAS WRITTEN
1486
01:00:52,292 --> 01:00:53,834
ALL OVER ME
IN NEON LIGHTS.
1487
01:00:53,918 --> 01:00:55,042
OH, NOT AT ALL.
1488
01:00:55,125 --> 01:00:56,375
I SHOULD HAVE SAID
1489
01:00:56,459 --> 01:00:58,334
YOU WERE A, OH,
I DON'T KNOW--
1490
01:00:58,417 --> 01:00:59,834
AN AVIATOR, AN EXPLORER,
OR SOMETHING.
1491
01:00:59,918 --> 01:01:02,125
THEY HAVE THE SAME KIND
OF DASH ABOUT THEM.
1492
01:01:02,209 --> 01:01:04,209
I'M SIMPLY ENCHANTED
WITH YOUR LITTLE TOWN,
1493
01:01:04,292 --> 01:01:05,542
MR. JEFFERSON.
1494
01:01:05,626 --> 01:01:07,626
IT GIVES ONE SUCH
A WARM, GRACIOUS FEELING.
1495
01:01:07,709 --> 01:01:09,542
HAVE YOU LIVED HERE
ALL YOUR LIFE?
1496
01:01:09,626 --> 01:01:10,792
Bert: PRACTICALLY.
1497
01:01:10,876 --> 01:01:12,918
IF YOU WISH TO HEAR
HIS LIFE STORY,
1498
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:14,709
KINDLY DO SO
ON YOUR OWN TIME.
1499
01:01:14,792 --> 01:01:16,500
MAGGIE AND I
HAVE WORK TO DO.
1500
01:01:16,584 --> 01:01:17,876
GET OUT OF HERE,
JEFFERSON.
1501
01:01:17,959 --> 01:01:19,000
ON YOUR WAY, BLOSSOM.
1502
01:01:19,083 --> 01:01:20,751
HE'S THE WORLD'S
RUDEST MAN, ISN'T HE?
1503
01:01:20,834 --> 01:01:23,417
OH, COULD I DROP YOU,
MR. JEFFERSON?
1504
01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:25,334
I'M GOING DOWN
TO THE MANSION HOUSE,
1505
01:01:25,417 --> 01:01:26,417
I THINK IT'S CALLED.
1506
01:01:26,500 --> 01:01:28,250
THANK YOU,
BUT I'VE GOT MY CAR.
1507
01:01:28,334 --> 01:01:29,250
SUPPOSE I DROP YOU?
1508
01:01:29,334 --> 01:01:30,417
THAT WOULD BE LOVELY.
1509
01:01:30,500 --> 01:01:32,000
WE'LL SEND THE TAXI
RIGHT OFF.
1510
01:01:32,083 --> 01:01:33,667
I'LL SEE YOU
LATER, SHERRY, DEAR.
1511
01:01:33,751 --> 01:01:34,918
Lorraine:
BYE, MAGGIE.
1512
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:36,250
Bert: GOOD-BYE, MAGGIE.
1513
01:01:36,334 --> 01:01:37,751
I'M INVITED BACK
FOR DINNER?
1514
01:01:37,834 --> 01:01:39,209
OH, YES. YOU ARE.
1515
01:01:39,292 --> 01:01:41,417
AT CHRISTMAS I ALWAYS
FEED THE NEEDY.
1516
01:01:41,500 --> 01:01:43,834
NOW, STOP OOZING OUT
AND GET OUT.
1517
01:01:43,918 --> 01:01:45,209
COME ON,
MR. JEFFERSON.
1518
01:01:45,292 --> 01:01:47,834
I WANNA HEAR MORE ABOUT
THIS CHARMING TOWN OF YOURS,
1519
01:01:47,918 --> 01:01:49,542
AND A GREAT DEAL
MORE ABOUT YOU.
1520
01:01:49,626 --> 01:01:52,250
IS THERE A COMPANY THAT
BROADCASTS AROUND HERE
ANYWHERE?
1521
01:01:52,334 --> 01:01:54,918
HOW MUCH TIME DID YOU SAY THEY
WANT, 4 MINUTES?
1522
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:56,334
THAT'S RIGHT.
4 MINUTES.
1523
01:01:56,417 --> 01:01:57,584
MM-HMM.
1524
01:01:57,667 --> 01:02:00,125
SHE'S LOOKING VERY
WELL, ISN'T SHE?
1525
01:02:00,209 --> 01:02:01,542
YEAH? WHO?
1526
01:02:01,626 --> 01:02:03,292
COUNTESS DE CYANIDE.
1527
01:02:03,375 --> 01:02:05,292
QUITE A SURPRISE,
WASN'T IT--
1528
01:02:05,375 --> 01:02:07,083
HER DROPPING IN
LIKE THIS?
1529
01:02:07,167 --> 01:02:09,417
YES. YES, IT WAS.
YES, IT WAS! YEAH. UH--
1530
01:02:09,500 --> 01:02:11,292
"AT THIS JOYOUS SEASON
OF THE YEAR,
1531
01:02:11,375 --> 01:02:12,667
WITHIN THE HEARTS
OF MEN--"
1532
01:02:12,751 --> 01:02:14,000
NO. I CAN'T CUT THAT.
1533
01:02:14,083 --> 01:02:15,709
ISN'T IT CURIOUS?
THERE WAS LORRAINE,
1534
01:02:15,792 --> 01:02:17,042
SNUG AS A BUG
1535
01:02:17,125 --> 01:02:19,250
IN SOMEBODY'S PATIO
IN PALM BEACH.
1536
01:02:19,334 --> 01:02:22,459
UH, "ERE THE YULETIDE
SEASON PASS..."
1537
01:02:22,542 --> 01:02:26,083
NOW, SHERRY, I THINK
WE WILL TALK A BIT.
1538
01:02:26,167 --> 01:02:29,709
JUST BECAUSE A FRIEND HAPPENS TO
COME AND SPEND CHRISTMAS--
1539
01:02:29,792 --> 01:02:31,000
I DON'T THINK
SHE HAPPENED
1540
01:02:31,083 --> 01:02:32,375
TO COME OUT HERE,
SHERRY.
1541
01:02:32,459 --> 01:02:33,334
I DON'T THINK THAT.
1542
01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:34,500
SURELY YOU'RE
NOT SUGGESTING
1543
01:02:34,584 --> 01:02:36,834
I HAD ANYTHING
TO DO ABOUT IT?
1544
01:02:36,918 --> 01:02:38,584
YES, SHERRY, I AM.
1545
01:02:38,667 --> 01:02:41,459
MAGGIE! YOU KNOW THAT ONE
OF MY CARDINAL PRINCIPLES
1546
01:02:41,542 --> 01:02:44,167
IS NEVER TO INTERFERE
IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES,
1547
01:02:44,250 --> 01:02:46,125
ABSOLUTELY NEVER!
1548
01:02:50,751 --> 01:02:51,959
June: GOOD-BYE,
MR. WHITESIDE.
1549
01:02:52,042 --> 01:02:53,500
WE CAN NEVER THANK
YOU ENOUGH.
1550
01:02:53,584 --> 01:02:55,125
Richard: YOU'VE CHANGED
OUR WHOLE LIVES.
1551
01:02:55,209 --> 01:02:56,500
YES, YES.
WELL, GOOD-BYE.
1552
01:02:56,584 --> 01:02:58,042
HAVE A NICE TRIP.
GOOD-BYE.
1553
01:02:58,125 --> 01:02:59,667
Both: GOOD-BYE,
MISS CUTLER.
1554
01:02:59,751 --> 01:03:01,250
GOOD-BYE.
1555
01:03:03,918 --> 01:03:05,542
I SEE.
1556
01:03:05,626 --> 01:03:07,626
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY
WERE TALKING ABOUT.
1557
01:03:07,709 --> 01:03:09,792
AS FOR LORRAINE,
NO ONE WAS MORE SURPRISED
1558
01:03:09,876 --> 01:03:12,209
THAN I
WHEN SHE WALKED IN.
1559
01:03:12,292 --> 01:03:13,751
SHERRY,
I'M WARNING YOU.
1560
01:03:13,834 --> 01:03:15,584
THIS MEANS
A GREAT DEAL TO ME.
1561
01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:17,459
I WON'T STAND
FOR ANY NONSENSE.
1562
01:03:17,542 --> 01:03:18,751
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1563
01:03:18,834 --> 01:03:20,334
I HAVE A HUNCH
THAT'S BEVERLY.
1564
01:03:20,417 --> 01:03:21,876
RUN AND SEE IF IT IS.
1565
01:03:21,959 --> 01:03:23,709
GO AHEAD, MAGGIE,
RUN, RUN!
1566
01:03:28,042 --> 01:03:29,000
Man: MR. WHITESIDE?
1567
01:03:29,083 --> 01:03:30,125
YES, SIR.
COME IN.
1568
01:03:30,209 --> 01:03:31,876
THANK YOU.
1569
01:03:34,125 --> 01:03:35,500
Maggie: BEVERLY!
1570
01:03:35,584 --> 01:03:37,542
MAGPIE!
1571
01:03:37,626 --> 01:03:39,000
BEVERLY CARLTON!
1572
01:03:39,083 --> 01:03:40,751
COME IN HERE, YOU
PICCADILLY PEN-PUSHER,
1573
01:03:40,834 --> 01:03:42,959
AND GAZE UPON A SOUL
IN AGONY.
1574
01:03:43,042 --> 01:03:44,959
DON'T TELL ME
HOW YOU ARE, SHERRY.
1575
01:03:45,042 --> 01:03:46,792
I WANT NONE
OF THE TIRESOME DETAILS.
1576
01:03:46,876 --> 01:03:48,834
I'VE VERY LITTLE TIME,
AND SO THE CONVERSATION
1577
01:03:48,918 --> 01:03:51,125
WILL BE ENTIRELY ABOUT ME,
AND I'LL LOVE IT.
1578
01:03:51,209 --> 01:03:53,792
I'LL TELL YOU HOW I
GLITTERED THROUGH THE SOUTH
SEAS
1579
01:03:53,876 --> 01:03:55,125
LIKE A SILVERY SCIMITAR,
1580
01:03:55,209 --> 01:03:57,375
OR RATHER HEAR HOW I
FINISHED A 3-ACT PLAY
1581
01:03:57,459 --> 01:04:00,709
WITH ONE HAND AND MADE LOVE
TO A MAHARAJAH'S DAUGHTER
1582
01:04:00,792 --> 01:04:01,918
WITH THE OTHER?
1583
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:04,083
IT WAS A VERY PRETTY SIGHT.
1584
01:04:04,167 --> 01:04:07,042
MAGPIE, YOU ARE THE
MOONFLOWER
OF MY MIDDLE AGE.
1585
01:04:07,125 --> 01:04:09,209
I LOVE YOU.
SAY SOMETHING TENDER TO ME.
1586
01:04:09,292 --> 01:04:10,250
BEVERLY, DARLING.
1587
01:04:10,334 --> 01:04:11,500
THAT'S MY GIRL.
1588
01:04:11,584 --> 01:04:13,250
SHERRY, WITHOUT GOING
INTO MOUNTAINOUS WAVES
1589
01:04:13,334 --> 01:04:15,334
OF SELF-PITY,
HOW ARE YOU?
1590
01:04:15,417 --> 01:04:16,417
I'M FINE,
1591
01:04:16,500 --> 01:04:17,792
YOU PRESUMPTUOUS
COTTONHEAD.
1592
01:04:17,876 --> 01:04:19,292
HOW WAS THIS
TRIP, WONDERFUL?
1593
01:04:19,375 --> 01:04:20,667
THE TRIP WAS FABULOUS.
1594
01:04:20,751 --> 01:04:22,417
I WROTE 2 PLAYS,
A REVIEW,
1595
01:04:22,500 --> 01:04:23,918
AND AN OPERETTA--
1596
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,584
ALL OF THEM SO BRILLIANT
THAT THEY FRIGHTEN ME.
1597
01:04:26,667 --> 01:04:29,417
HOW CAN ONE MAN POSSIBLY
BE AS CLEVER AS I AM?
1598
01:04:29,500 --> 01:04:30,792
IT'S ONE OF
THE MYSTERIES
1599
01:04:30,876 --> 01:04:31,918
OF THE UNIVERSE.
1600
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:34,167
BEVERLY, A VERY
DEAR FRIEND OF YOURS
1601
01:04:34,250 --> 01:04:35,209
IS VISITING US--
1602
01:04:35,292 --> 01:04:37,167
THE LANGUOROUS
LORRAINE.
1603
01:04:37,250 --> 01:04:38,918
OH, MISS SHELDON.
YES. DEAR GIRL.
1604
01:04:39,042 --> 01:04:41,334
THEY DO SAY SHE
SET FIRE TO HER MOTHER,
1605
01:04:41,417 --> 01:04:43,209
BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
1606
01:04:43,292 --> 01:04:45,000
DID YOU SEE MY
WONDERFUL BANJO
1607
01:04:45,083 --> 01:04:46,334
WHEN YOU WERE
IN HOLLYWOOD?
1608
01:04:46,417 --> 01:04:48,626
I DID, AND HE GAVE
A DINNER FOR ME.
1609
01:04:48,709 --> 01:04:50,584
I ARRIVED IN
WHITE TIE AND TAILS
1610
01:04:50,667 --> 01:04:53,125
TO BE MET AT THE ENTRANCE
BY 2 BEWIGGED BUTLERS,
1611
01:04:53,209 --> 01:04:56,334
WHO VERY QUIETLY PROCEEDED
TO TAKE OFF MY TROUSERS.
1612
01:04:56,417 --> 01:04:59,209
I WAS THEN USHERED
IN MY LEMON SILK SHORTS
1613
01:04:59,292 --> 01:05:00,751
INTO THE ROOM,
WHERE THERE WAS
1614
01:05:00,834 --> 01:05:02,709
NORMA SHEARER,
CLAUDETTE COLBERT,
1615
01:05:02,792 --> 01:05:05,209
AND MANY, MANY
OTHERS. HA HA HA!
1616
01:05:05,292 --> 01:05:06,918
DEAR, INCOMPARABLE BANJO.
1617
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,042
I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT
SUMMER ON THE RIVIERA
1618
01:05:09,125 --> 01:05:10,292
WHEN BANJO
PUT A MICROPHONE
1619
01:05:10,375 --> 01:05:11,834
IN LORRAINE'S CABANA
AND THEN PLAYED
1620
01:05:11,918 --> 01:05:13,667
THE RECORD
THE NEXT DAY AT LUNCH.
1621
01:05:13,751 --> 01:05:15,542
I REMEMBER VERY WELL.
1622
01:05:15,626 --> 01:05:17,626
AND SHE LEFT
BY THE VERY NEXT BOAT.
1623
01:05:17,709 --> 01:05:19,667
I WISH BANJO
WERE HERE NOW.
1624
01:05:19,751 --> 01:05:21,834
OH, MY POOR,
SWEET, LITTLE MAGPIE.
1625
01:05:21,918 --> 01:05:23,042
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
1626
01:05:23,125 --> 01:05:24,751
IS LORRAINE BEING
HER DEAR, SWEET,
1627
01:05:24,834 --> 01:05:26,000
SICK-MAKING LITTLE SELF?
1628
01:05:26,083 --> 01:05:27,834
YOU WOULDN'T
TAKE HER AWAY WITH YOU,
1629
01:05:27,918 --> 01:05:29,459
WOULD YOU, BEVERLY?
JUST FOR ME?
1630
01:05:29,542 --> 01:05:31,125
NOW, LORRAINE
IS A CHARMING PERSON
1631
01:05:31,209 --> 01:05:32,500
WHO HAS
GALLANTLY GIVEN UP
1632
01:05:32,584 --> 01:05:34,250
HER CHRISTMAS
TO SPEND IT WITH ME.
1633
01:05:34,334 --> 01:05:36,667
I KNEW I HAD A
LITTLE BIT OF DIRT.
1634
01:05:36,751 --> 01:05:37,876
OH, MR. WHITESIDE?
1635
01:05:37,959 --> 01:05:39,709
WHAT? OH, NO.
1636
01:05:39,792 --> 01:05:41,375
I'M VERY BUSY
NOW. GO AWAY!
1637
01:05:41,459 --> 01:05:44,751
OH, THAT'S ALRIGHT.
I'LL WAIT.
1638
01:05:44,834 --> 01:05:46,792
YOU KIDNAP
SOMEONE, SHERRY?
1639
01:05:46,876 --> 01:05:48,125
NO. THAT WAS SUPERMAN.
1640
01:05:48,209 --> 01:05:50,125
NOW, COME ON. IS THIS
SOMETHING JUICY?
1641
01:05:50,209 --> 01:05:51,417
JUICY AS
A POMEGRANATE.
1642
01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:53,542
IT'S THE LATEST
REPORT FROM PALM BEACH
1643
01:05:53,626 --> 01:05:55,417
ON THE WINTER MANEUVERS
OF LORRAINE SHELDON
1644
01:05:55,500 --> 01:05:56,918
AGAINST THE LEFT FLANK,
1645
01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:00,083
OR RATHER, ALL FLANKS
OF LORD CEDRIC BOTTOMLY.
1646
01:06:00,167 --> 01:06:01,792
LISTEN. "LORRAINE ARRIVED
HERE IN NOVEMBER
1647
01:06:01,876 --> 01:06:04,375
"IN A CLOUD
OF CHANEL NO. 5.
1648
01:06:04,459 --> 01:06:05,584
"SINCE THEN,
1649
01:06:05,667 --> 01:06:07,417
"IN HER RELENTLESS
PURSUIT OF OLD CEDRIC,
1650
01:06:07,500 --> 01:06:09,542
"SHE HAS PAUSED ONLY
TO CHANGE GIRDLES
1651
01:06:09,626 --> 01:06:10,751
"AND CHECK HER OIL.
1652
01:06:10,834 --> 01:06:12,125
"SHE HAS CHASED HIM,
PANTING,
1653
01:06:12,209 --> 01:06:13,626
"FROM BEACH HOUSE
TO BEACH HOUSE,
1654
01:06:13,709 --> 01:06:15,751
"UNTIL HE FINALLY TOOK REFUGE
FOR SEVERAL WEEKENDS
1655
01:06:15,834 --> 01:06:20,584
"IN THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOMS
OF THE TURF AND JOCKEY CLUB.
1656
01:06:20,667 --> 01:06:22,876
"CEDRIC IS HIDING
IN CAROLINA AT THE MOMENT,
1657
01:06:22,959 --> 01:06:25,209
"BUT LORRAINE WOULD FLY
TO HIM IN A STRATOLINER
1658
01:06:25,292 --> 01:06:28,292
IF HE SO MUCH AS SNEEZED
IN HER DIRECTION."
1659
01:06:28,375 --> 01:06:30,751
HAVE YOU MET
OUR LITTLE CEDRIC, MAGGIE?
1660
01:06:30,834 --> 01:06:32,042
Maggie:
NO, I HAVEN'T.
1661
01:06:32,125 --> 01:06:34,876
"NOT VERY GOOD SHOOTIN'
TODAY, B-BLAST IT.
1662
01:06:34,959 --> 01:06:36,792
"ONLY S-SIX PHEASANT,
1663
01:06:36,876 --> 01:06:40,417
F-FOUR DUCK,
AND MY C-COUSIN ARCHIE."
1664
01:06:40,500 --> 01:06:43,375
THAT'S BOTTOMLY
TO HIS VERY FINGERTIPS.
1665
01:06:43,459 --> 01:06:45,417
HA HA HA! BUT
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
1666
01:06:45,500 --> 01:06:46,751
NOBODY COULD BE
LIKE THAT.
1667
01:06:46,834 --> 01:06:48,042
IT'S SO GOOD,
IT'S UNCANNY.
1668
01:06:48,125 --> 01:06:50,584
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RACE
RIGHT OUT OF HERE?
1669
01:06:50,667 --> 01:06:52,918
I NEVER SEE ENOUGH OF YOU,
YOU UNGRATEFUL MOPPET.
1670
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:54,584
SHERRY, ALL I CAN
TELL YOU
1671
01:06:54,667 --> 01:06:56,918
IS THAT MY ESTEEM
FOR YOU IS SO GREAT
1672
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,417
THAT I CHANGED TRAINS
IN CHICAGO
1673
01:06:58,500 --> 01:07:00,209
JUST TO SPEND
10 MINUTES WITH YOU
1674
01:07:00,292 --> 01:07:02,417
AND WISH YOU A MERRY
CHRISTMAS, MY LAD.
1675
01:07:02,500 --> 01:07:03,417
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1676
01:07:03,500 --> 01:07:05,417
AND YOU, MY LITTLE
MAGPIE.
1677
01:07:05,500 --> 01:07:06,792
BEVERLY, DEAR.
1678
01:07:06,876 --> 01:07:08,167
GOOD EVENING.
1679
01:07:08,250 --> 01:07:10,334
YOU'LL FIND MR. WHITESIDE
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
1680
01:07:10,417 --> 01:07:11,584
THANK YOU.
COME, BOYS.
1681
01:07:11,667 --> 01:07:12,959
HELLO, MR. WHITESIDE.
1682
01:07:13,042 --> 01:07:14,167
HELLO! COME IN,
WESCOTT.
1683
01:07:14,250 --> 01:07:15,500
AH, THE AIRWAVES.
1684
01:07:15,584 --> 01:07:17,918
I SHAN'T HAVE TO LISTEN
TO YOU, THANK HEAVEN.
1685
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,459
I SHALL BE ON THE TRAIN.
1686
01:07:19,542 --> 01:07:21,584
MR. WESCOTT, WILL YOU GO
IN THE LIBRARY?
1687
01:07:21,667 --> 01:07:23,167
JOHN, WILL YOU
HELP THE MEN?
1688
01:07:23,250 --> 01:07:24,167
YES, MISS CUTLER.
1689
01:07:24,250 --> 01:07:25,167
RIGHT THIS WAY,
GENTLEMEN.
1690
01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:26,500
COME ON, SHERRY.
SAY GOOD-BYE.
1691
01:07:26,584 --> 01:07:27,792
OH, STOP
THIS NONSENSE, MAGGIE!
1692
01:07:27,876 --> 01:07:29,417
AU REVOIR, MY FABULOUS
CREAM PUFF.
1693
01:07:29,500 --> 01:07:31,959
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I WANT TO TALK TO BEVERLY.
1694
01:07:32,042 --> 01:07:34,542
YOU CAN KISS BEVERLY IN
MACY'S WINDOW ON JULY 4.
1695
01:07:34,626 --> 01:07:36,792
I WILL NOT BE
RUSHED OUT OF THIS ROOM
1696
01:07:36,876 --> 01:07:40,667
LIKE A BABY THAT HAS TO HAVE
ITS THINGAMABOBS CHANGED.
1697
01:07:40,751 --> 01:07:42,209
WELL!
1698
01:07:42,292 --> 01:07:44,375
BEV, I WANT ONE
MINUTE OF YOUR TIME.
1699
01:07:44,459 --> 01:07:45,584
I'VE GOTTA HAVE IT.
1700
01:07:45,667 --> 01:07:46,626
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
1701
01:07:46,709 --> 01:07:47,626
I'M IN GREAT TROUBLE.
1702
01:07:47,709 --> 01:07:48,709
WHAT IS IT, MAGGIE?
1703
01:07:48,792 --> 01:07:49,876
I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE.
1704
01:07:49,959 --> 01:07:52,042
NO!
FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE,
1705
01:07:52,125 --> 01:07:53,167
I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE.
1706
01:07:53,250 --> 01:07:55,250
I CAN'T TELL YOU NOW.
THERE ISN'T TIME.
1707
01:07:55,334 --> 01:07:57,667
BUT SHERRY'S TRYING
TO BREAK IT UP.
1708
01:07:57,751 --> 01:07:59,334
THE OLD FLOUNDER.
WHAT'S HE DOING?
1709
01:07:59,417 --> 01:08:01,375
HE'S BROUGHT LORRAINE
HERE TO SMASH IT UP.
1710
01:08:01,459 --> 01:08:03,000
IT'S SOMEBODY HERE
IN THIS TOWN?
1711
01:08:03,083 --> 01:08:04,167
YES. HE'S A NEWSPAPERMAN.
1712
01:08:04,250 --> 01:08:05,959
YOU'LL SEE HIM
AT THE STATION.
1713
01:08:06,042 --> 01:08:07,459
YOU SEE,
HE'S WRITTEN A PLAY,
1714
01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:09,250
AND SHERRY IS
USING THAT AS BAIT.
1715
01:08:09,334 --> 01:08:11,334
LORRAINE WILL EAT HIM ALIVE.
YOU'VE GOTTA HELP.
1716
01:08:11,417 --> 01:08:13,167
WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME TO DO?
1717
01:08:13,250 --> 01:08:14,209
LORRAINE'S COMING BACK HERE
1718
01:08:14,292 --> 01:08:15,542
I THOUGHT PERHAPS THAT YOU'D
1719
01:08:15,626 --> 01:08:18,584
F-F-F-F ST-ST-ST-ST...
1720
01:08:18,667 --> 01:08:21,584
HA HA HA!
1721
01:08:21,667 --> 01:08:23,918
DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD,
MAGGIE.
1722
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:25,417
AND I SHALL LOVE IT.
1723
01:08:25,500 --> 01:08:26,918
I SHALL ABSOLUTELY
LOVE IT.
1724
01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:29,042
WHAT'S MORE, IT CROSSES
UP SHERRY AND LORRAINE
1725
01:08:29,125 --> 01:08:30,334
AT THE SAME TIME.
1726
01:08:30,417 --> 01:08:31,876
OOH HOO HOO!
IT'S PURE HEAVEN.
1727
01:08:31,959 --> 01:08:33,709
I ADORE IT.
I MUST FLY. QUICK!
1728
01:08:33,792 --> 01:08:36,000
OH, BEVERLY,
YOU'RE WONDERFUL!
1729
01:08:36,083 --> 01:08:37,167
I KNOW I AM.
1730
01:08:37,250 --> 01:08:39,125
COME TO MY HOUSE
FOR YOUR HONEYMOON.
1731
01:08:39,209 --> 01:08:40,751
WE'LL NAME THE FIRST
BABY BEVERLY.
1732
01:08:40,834 --> 01:08:42,000
DARLING, I LOVE YOU!
1733
01:08:42,083 --> 01:08:43,834
DON'T SPARE
THE HORSES, MY MAN.
1734
01:08:43,918 --> 01:08:45,500
A WOMAN'S
HONOR IS AT STAKE.
1735
01:08:45,584 --> 01:08:47,209
[PENGUIN SQUAWKING]
1736
01:08:49,667 --> 01:08:52,209
THERE YOU ARE,
MY PRETTY! THERE.
1737
01:08:52,292 --> 01:08:54,042
HOLLYWOOD CALLING YOU,
MR. WHITESIDE.
1738
01:08:54,125 --> 01:08:56,626
OH, THANK YOU,
JOHN.
1739
01:08:56,709 --> 01:08:58,918
HELLO?
1740
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:02,375
BANJO! HELLO,
BANJO, OLD BOY.
1741
01:09:02,459 --> 01:09:04,250
HOW ARE YOU, YOU
FEEBLE-MINDED ACTOR?
1742
01:09:04,334 --> 01:09:07,417
HELLO, WHITESIDE!
HOW'S TRICKS?
1743
01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:09,000
I HEAR YOU BROKE
YOUR HIP
1744
01:09:09,083 --> 01:09:12,209
CHASING A BLONDE.
HA HA HA!
1745
01:09:12,292 --> 01:09:15,500
NO, NO. MY BUSTLE'S FINE.
COULDN'T BE BETTER.
1746
01:09:15,584 --> 01:09:18,167
MAGGIE? WELL, SHE'S LOST
HER MIND TEMPORARILY,
1747
01:09:18,250 --> 01:09:19,876
BUT I'M FIXING THAT.
1748
01:09:19,959 --> 01:09:22,792
LISTEN, BANJO. DID YOU
REVERSE THE CHARGES?
1749
01:09:22,876 --> 01:09:24,417
YOU DIDN'T? WELL,
CALL THE OPERATOR
1750
01:09:24,500 --> 01:09:25,959
AND TELL HER TO DO IT.
1751
01:09:26,042 --> 01:09:29,042
JUST A LITTLE CHRISTMAS
PRESENT TO YOU FROM MY
HOST.
1752
01:09:29,125 --> 01:09:30,542
WELL, I CAN'T WASTE
MY TIME
1753
01:09:30,626 --> 01:09:32,500
TALKING TO A LOT
OF HOLLYWOOD RIFFRAFF.
1754
01:09:32,584 --> 01:09:34,584
JUST GET ON A PLANE
RIGHT AWAY.
1755
01:09:34,667 --> 01:09:37,542
I'LL THINK IT OVER.
I, UH--
1756
01:09:42,667 --> 01:09:44,792
HELLO, BANJO?
IF I KNOW BANJO,
1757
01:09:44,876 --> 01:09:46,959
WE WERE CUT OFF
BY A BEAUTIFUL BLONDE.
1758
01:09:47,042 --> 01:09:48,250
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1759
01:09:49,292 --> 01:09:50,751
IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO
1760
01:09:50,834 --> 01:09:52,083
BEFORE THE BROADCAST,
MISS CUTLER?
1761
01:09:52,167 --> 01:09:53,334
NO, JOHN,
THANK YOU.
1762
01:09:53,417 --> 01:09:54,751
IT ISN'T TELEVISION,
THANK HEAVEN.
1763
01:09:54,834 --> 01:09:56,375
THEY ONLY HEAR
HIS LIQUID VOICE.
1764
01:09:56,459 --> 01:09:57,709
HE'S REALLY WONDERFUL,
ISN'T HE?
1765
01:09:57,792 --> 01:09:59,375
THE THINGS
HE FINDS TIME TO DO.
1766
01:09:59,459 --> 01:10:02,209
YES. HE CERTAINLY STICKS
HIS NOSE INTO EVERYTHING.
1767
01:10:02,292 --> 01:10:03,792
John: GOOD EVENING,
MISS SHELDON.
1768
01:10:03,876 --> 01:10:05,792
Lorraine:
GOOD EVENING, JOHN.
1769
01:10:05,876 --> 01:10:08,876
HELLO, DEAR.
WHERE'S SHERRY?
1770
01:10:08,959 --> 01:10:10,042
INSIDE, WORKING.
1771
01:10:10,125 --> 01:10:10,959
OH?
1772
01:10:11,042 --> 01:10:12,542
HE'S ON THE AIR
VERY SOON.
1773
01:10:12,626 --> 01:10:14,626
OH, OF COURSE.
1774
01:10:14,709 --> 01:10:17,709
THAT'S QUITE A GETUP
YOU HAVE ON, LORRAINE.
1775
01:10:17,792 --> 01:10:21,459
THIS? OH, I JUST THREW
ON ANYTHING AT ALL.
1776
01:10:21,542 --> 01:10:23,459
AREN'T YOU DRESSING
FOR DINNER?
1777
01:10:23,542 --> 01:10:25,500
NO. JUST WHAT
MEETS THE EYE.
1778
01:10:29,292 --> 01:10:32,042
WHO DOES
YOUR HAIR, MAGGIE?
1779
01:10:32,125 --> 01:10:35,209
A LITTLE FRENCH WOMAN
NAMED MAGGIE CUTLER
1780
01:10:35,292 --> 01:10:36,334
COMES IN EVERY MORNING.
1781
01:10:36,417 --> 01:10:38,083
YOU KNOW,
EVERY TIME I SEE YOU,
1782
01:10:38,167 --> 01:10:40,459
I KEEP THINKING YOUR HAIR
COULD BE SO LOVELY.
1783
01:10:40,542 --> 01:10:42,709
I ALWAYS WANT TO GET
MY HANDS ON IT.
1784
01:10:42,792 --> 01:10:44,918
YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED TO GET MINE
1785
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:46,918
ON YOURS, LORRAINE.
1786
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:48,709
WHAT, DEAR?
1787
01:10:53,751 --> 01:10:55,626
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
1788
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:19,709
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
1789
01:11:30,209 --> 01:11:32,292
HOW LONG WILL SHERRY
BE IN THERE?
1790
01:11:32,375 --> 01:11:34,334
NOT LONG.
1791
01:11:34,417 --> 01:11:37,751
LORRAINE, DID YOU KNOW
THAT MR. JEFFERSON
1792
01:11:37,834 --> 01:11:39,375
HAS WRITTEN
QUITE A GOOD PLAY?
1793
01:11:39,459 --> 01:11:42,209
THE YOUNG MAN WHO DROVE YOU
TO THE HOTEL THIS MORNING.
1794
01:11:42,292 --> 01:11:44,459
OH, REALLY? NO, I DIDN'T.
ISN'T THAT INTERESTING?
1795
01:11:44,542 --> 01:11:46,375
YES, ISN'T IT?
1796
01:11:50,459 --> 01:11:52,292
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
1797
01:11:55,125 --> 01:11:56,959
[RING]
1798
01:12:00,083 --> 01:12:01,000
HELLO?
1799
01:12:01,083 --> 01:12:03,000
[NO AUDIO]
1800
01:12:06,292 --> 01:12:07,876
YES. YES.
MISS LORRAINE SHELDON?
1801
01:12:07,959 --> 01:12:09,876
SHE'S HERE, YES.
JUST A MINUTE.
1802
01:12:09,959 --> 01:12:11,667
A LONG-DISTANCE CALL
FOR YOU, LORRAINE.
1803
01:12:11,751 --> 01:12:13,042
LONG DISTANCE
FOR ME? HERE?
1804
01:12:13,125 --> 01:12:14,375
WHY, WHAT
IN THE WORLD?
1805
01:12:14,459 --> 01:12:15,459
IT'S SOUTH CAROLINA.
1806
01:12:15,542 --> 01:12:17,542
OH! SOUTH CAROLINA.
1807
01:12:17,626 --> 01:12:20,250
HELLO? HELLO?
CEDRIC?
1808
01:12:20,334 --> 01:12:23,542
OH, WHY, CEDRIC!
WHY, WHAT A SURPRISE.
1809
01:12:23,626 --> 01:12:25,918
WELL, HOW DID YOU
KNOW I WAS HERE?
1810
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:28,751
LORRAINE, MY SWEET,
I WAS--I WAS SO UPSET TO RETURN
1811
01:12:28,834 --> 01:12:30,626
A-A-AND FIND YOU GONE.
1812
01:12:30,709 --> 01:12:31,751
I WAS DEVASTATED.
1813
01:12:31,834 --> 01:12:33,334
ABSOLUTELY
D-D-D-DEVASTATED.
1814
01:12:33,417 --> 01:12:37,876
I--I SIMPLY HAD TO CALL
YOU AND C-C-C--I LOVE YOU.
1815
01:12:37,959 --> 01:12:39,542
WHAT?
1816
01:12:39,626 --> 01:12:41,292
DARLING, DON'T TALK
SO FAST,
1817
01:12:41,375 --> 01:12:43,000
AND YOU
WON'T STUTTER SO.
1818
01:12:43,083 --> 01:12:44,751
YES. YES, THAT'S BETTER.
1819
01:12:44,834 --> 01:12:46,751
YES. NOW I CAN HEAR YOU
VERY CLEARLY.
1820
01:12:46,834 --> 01:12:49,918
IT'S AS THOUGH YOU WERE
JUST AROUND THE CORNER.
1821
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:50,918
I SEE.
1822
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:53,083
I SAID I SIMPLY
HAD TO CALL YOU
1823
01:12:53,167 --> 01:12:57,792
AND T-T-TELL YOU HOW MUCH
I L-L-L-L-LO--I ADORE YOU.
1824
01:12:57,876 --> 01:13:01,918
WHAT?! OH, DARLING, I--
1825
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:04,334
CEDRIC, WILL YOU WAIT
JUST A MOMENT, PLEASE?
1826
01:13:04,417 --> 01:13:05,584
MAGGIE, DO YOU MIND?
1827
01:13:05,667 --> 01:13:07,292
LORD BOTTOMLY--
A VERY PERSONAL CALL.
1828
01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:08,667
DO YOU MIND?
1829
01:13:08,751 --> 01:13:10,292
NOT AT ALL.
1830
01:13:14,042 --> 01:13:16,375
YES, MY DEAREST,
NOW TELL ME.
1831
01:13:16,459 --> 01:13:18,292
[NO AUDIO]
1832
01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:25,751
CEDRIC, PLEASE
DON'T STUTTER SO!
1833
01:13:25,834 --> 01:13:27,417
DON'T BE NERVOUS!
1834
01:13:27,500 --> 01:13:28,626
LORRAINE, MY SWEET,
1835
01:13:28,709 --> 01:13:31,626
I--I GOT IN TOUCH
WITH M-M-M-MATER,
1836
01:13:31,709 --> 01:13:35,000
AND SHE'S GIVEN HER C-CONSENT
TO OUR B-BETROTHAL.
1837
01:13:35,083 --> 01:13:36,417
LORRAINE, MY DARLING,
1838
01:13:36,500 --> 01:13:39,334
WILL YOU M-M-MA-MA-MA--
WILL YOU BE MY WIFE?
1839
01:13:39,417 --> 01:13:44,417
OH, DARLING, YES!
A THOUSAND TIMES, YES!
1840
01:13:44,500 --> 01:13:46,876
OH, MY DARLING.
OH, MY SWEET,
1841
01:13:46,959 --> 01:13:49,626
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I'VE
PRAYED FOR THIS EVERY
NIGHT.
1842
01:13:49,709 --> 01:13:52,792
I'LL TAKE A PLANE
RIGHT OUT OF HERE. WHAT?
1843
01:13:52,876 --> 01:13:54,209
[NO AUDIO]
1844
01:13:56,042 --> 01:13:58,751
CEDRIC, PLEASE
DON'T STUTTER SO!
1845
01:14:00,709 --> 01:14:03,751
YES, AND I LOVE YOU,
MY DARLING...
1846
01:14:03,834 --> 01:14:05,667
OH, SO MUCH!
1847
01:14:05,751 --> 01:14:08,334
OH, MY SWEET,
YES, I WILL.
1848
01:14:08,417 --> 01:14:10,209
I'LL BE THINKING
OF YOU EVERY MOMENT.
1849
01:14:10,292 --> 01:14:11,834
YOU'VE MADE ME
THE HAPPIEST GIRL
1850
01:14:11,918 --> 01:14:13,667
IN THE WORLD.
1851
01:14:13,751 --> 01:14:18,000
GOOD-BYE. GOOD-BYE,
DARLING. GOOD-BYE.
1852
01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:24,042
SHERRY? SHERRY!
1853
01:14:24,125 --> 01:14:27,042
SHERRY, DARLING, I CAN
HARDLY WAIT TO TELL YOU.
1854
01:14:27,125 --> 01:14:29,042
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE!
1855
01:14:29,125 --> 01:14:30,709
THE MOST WONDERFUL
THING HAS HAPPENED.
1856
01:14:30,792 --> 01:14:32,709
CEDRIC JUST CALLED
FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.
1857
01:14:32,792 --> 01:14:34,375
HE'S ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM.
1858
01:14:34,459 --> 01:14:35,542
WHAT?
1859
01:14:35,626 --> 01:14:36,918
Lorraine: THINK OF IT!
1860
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:38,417
I MUST CATCH THE NEXT PLANE.
1861
01:14:38,500 --> 01:14:40,042
MAY I COME IN NOW,
LORRAINE?
1862
01:14:40,125 --> 01:14:41,042
OH, MAGGIE, DARLING,
1863
01:14:41,125 --> 01:14:43,000
CAN I GET A PLANE
OUT OF HERE?
1864
01:14:43,083 --> 01:14:45,042
THE MOST WONDERFUL THING
IN THE WORLD'S HAPPENED.
1865
01:14:45,125 --> 01:14:47,375
LORD BOTTOMLY'S ASKED ME
TO MARRY HIM. MAGGIE!
1866
01:14:47,459 --> 01:14:48,626
REALLY?
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
1867
01:14:48,709 --> 01:14:50,459
I'M SO EXCITED
I CAN HARDLY THINK.
1868
01:14:50,542 --> 01:14:52,542
YOU MUST HELP ME
GET OUT OF HERE.
1869
01:14:52,626 --> 01:14:53,876
I'D BE DELIGHTED TO.
1870
01:14:53,959 --> 01:14:56,250
CAN YOU LOOK UP
THINGS RIGHT AWAY?
1871
01:14:56,334 --> 01:14:57,709
YES. I HAVE
TIMETABLE OVER HERE.
1872
01:14:57,792 --> 01:15:00,334
AND IF YOU CAN'T CATCH
A PLANE OUT OF HERE,
1873
01:15:00,417 --> 01:15:01,626
I'LL DRIVE YOU
TO CLEVELAND.
1874
01:15:01,709 --> 01:15:03,876
MAGGIE, YOU'RE
WONDERFUL! SHERRY!
1875
01:15:03,959 --> 01:15:05,751
SHERRY, DARLING,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
1876
01:15:05,834 --> 01:15:07,000
YOU HAVEN'T SAID
A WORD.
1877
01:15:07,083 --> 01:15:08,709
YOU HAVEN'T
EVEN CONGRATULATED ME.
1878
01:15:08,792 --> 01:15:10,083
LET ME UNDERSTAND THIS,
LORRAINE.
1879
01:15:10,167 --> 01:15:12,375
AM I TO GATHER
FROM YOUR GIRLISH SQUEALS
1880
01:15:12,459 --> 01:15:15,125
THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO TOSS
YOUR CAREER INTO THE ASHCAN?
1881
01:15:15,209 --> 01:15:16,542
WELL, SHERRY,
YOU COULDN'T EXPECT--
1882
01:15:16,626 --> 01:15:18,751
DON'T EXPLAIN, LORRAINE.
I UNDERSTAND ONLY TOO WELL.
1883
01:15:18,834 --> 01:15:20,167
I ALSO UNDERSTAND
WHY CORNELL
1884
01:15:20,250 --> 01:15:23,751
REMAINS THE FIRST
ACTRESS OF OUR THEATER.
1885
01:15:23,834 --> 01:15:24,918
WE'RE IN LUCK.
1886
01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:27,334
THERE'S A PLANE OUT
OF CLEVELAND AT 10:03.
1887
01:15:27,417 --> 01:15:29,083
IT TAKES AN HOUR
TO DRIVE OVER.
1888
01:15:29,167 --> 01:15:31,167
ISN'T EVERYTHING WORKING
OUT BEAUTIFULLY?
1889
01:15:31,250 --> 01:15:32,542
PEACHY!
1890
01:15:32,626 --> 01:15:34,375
WHAT'S THE NAME OF
THE HOTEL?
1891
01:15:34,459 --> 01:15:36,626
I WANNA GET MY MAID
TO START PACKING.
1892
01:15:36,709 --> 01:15:38,000
THE MANSION HOUSE.
1893
01:15:40,834 --> 01:15:42,417
MANSION HOUSE, PLEASE.
1894
01:15:42,500 --> 01:15:44,792
OH, IT'S SNOWING.
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
1895
01:15:44,876 --> 01:15:46,667
I NEVER FELT
SO MUCH LIKE CHRISTMAS
1896
01:15:46,751 --> 01:15:47,792
IN ALL MY LIFE.
1897
01:15:47,876 --> 01:15:49,125
DON'T YOU, SHERRY, DEAR?
1898
01:15:49,209 --> 01:15:51,125
SHUT YOUR NASTY
LITTLE FACE!
1899
01:15:53,375 --> 01:15:56,209
HELLO? HELLO?
THIS IS MISS SHELDON.
1900
01:15:56,292 --> 01:15:58,209
PUT ME THROUGH
TO MY MAID, PLEASE.
1901
01:15:59,876 --> 01:16:02,834
COSETTE? NOW, LISTEN
CAREFULLY, COSETTE.
1902
01:16:02,918 --> 01:16:05,334
WE'RE LEAVING BY PLANE
TONIGHT FOR SOUTH CAROLINA.
1903
01:16:05,417 --> 01:16:07,125
I WANT YOU TO START
PACKING IMMEDIATELY,
1904
01:16:07,209 --> 01:16:09,125
I'LL CALL FOR YOU
IN ABOUT AN HOUR.
1905
01:16:09,209 --> 01:16:11,751
I WANT YOU TO SEND
SOME TELEGRAMS FOR ME.
1906
01:16:11,834 --> 01:16:14,584
HAVE YOU GOT A PENCIL? RIGHT.
NOW, THE FIRST ONE GOES
1907
01:16:14,667 --> 01:16:17,000
TO THE DUCHESS OF SOUTHERLAND.
SHE'S IN NEWPORT.
1908
01:16:17,083 --> 01:16:19,125
YOU'LL FIND ALL THESE
ADDRESSES IN THE BOOK.
1909
01:16:19,209 --> 01:16:21,375
IT'S IN MY DRESSING
CASE. ALL READY?
1910
01:16:21,459 --> 01:16:23,834
"DARLING, CEDRIC AND I
1911
01:16:23,918 --> 01:16:26,542
"ARE BEING MARRIED TOMORROW,
SOUTH CAROLINA.
1912
01:16:26,626 --> 01:16:30,792
WANTED YOU TO BE THE FIRST
TO KNOW. LOVE, LORRAINE."
1913
01:16:30,876 --> 01:16:35,167
OH, MADAME, I AM SO HAPPY!
AT LAST YOU HAVE HOOKED HIM.
1914
01:16:35,250 --> 01:16:38,042
THANK YOU, COSETTE.
THANK YOU.
1915
01:16:38,125 --> 01:16:40,083
I WANT YOU TO SEND THE
SAME MESSAGE
1916
01:16:40,167 --> 01:16:41,626
TO MR. AND MRS.
PERRY LIVINGSTON,
1917
01:16:41,709 --> 01:16:44,250
MRS. CORNELIUS VANDERBILT,
AND MY MOTHER IN KANSAS CITY.
1918
01:16:44,334 --> 01:16:47,000
NOW I'LL SEND A WIRE
TO TIFFANY'S, NEW YORK:
1919
01:16:47,083 --> 01:16:50,083
"CAN YOU BRING TO SOUTH
CAROLINA
THE TRIPLE STRING OF PEARLS
1920
01:16:50,167 --> 01:16:53,292
I PICKED OUT IN OCTOBER?
LORRAINE SHELDON."
1921
01:16:53,375 --> 01:16:55,834
NOW, HAVE YOU GOT ALL THAT
STRAIGHT, COSETTE?
1922
01:16:55,918 --> 01:16:58,000
THAT'S FINE.
OH, YOU MUST HURRY, DEAR.
1923
01:16:58,083 --> 01:17:01,292
I'LL BE THERE IN ABOUT AN HOUR,
AND YOU MUSTN'T BE LATE.
1924
01:17:01,375 --> 01:17:03,626
ALRIGHT. GOOD-BYE.
1925
01:17:05,042 --> 01:17:07,334
THANK GOODNESS FOR COSETTE.
I'D DIE WITHOUT HER.
1926
01:17:07,417 --> 01:17:09,167
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
AN HOUR AGO
1927
01:17:09,250 --> 01:17:11,209
I'D BE ON MY WAY
TO SOUTH CAROLINA?
1928
01:17:11,292 --> 01:17:13,250
LIFE IS JUST FULL
OF SURPRISES, ISN'T IT?
1929
01:17:13,334 --> 01:17:15,876
WILL YOU BOTH STOP
THIS FEMALE DROOLING?
1930
01:17:15,959 --> 01:17:17,209
I HAVE A VIOLENT
HEADACHE.
1931
01:17:17,292 --> 01:17:19,292
OH, SHERRY. CAN I
GET YOU SOMETHING?
1932
01:17:19,375 --> 01:17:20,417
NOW, LOOK HERE,
SHERRY.
1933
01:17:20,500 --> 01:17:22,209
AFTER ALL,
MY LIFE IS MY OWN.
1934
01:17:22,292 --> 01:17:23,834
GOOD EVENING,
MR. JEFFERSON.
1935
01:17:23,918 --> 01:17:24,792
HELLO, JOHN.
1936
01:17:24,876 --> 01:17:25,918
HELLO, EVERYBODY.
1937
01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:27,626
SAY, DO YOU KNOW
IT'S SNOWING OUT?
1938
01:17:27,709 --> 01:17:29,500
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A REAL
OLD-FASHIONED CHRISTMAS.
1939
01:17:29,584 --> 01:17:31,751
WHY DON'T YOU
TELEPHONE YOUR SCOOP
1940
01:17:31,834 --> 01:17:33,792
TO THE ASSOCIATED PRESS?!
1941
01:17:33,876 --> 01:17:35,375
HA HA HA!
1942
01:17:35,459 --> 01:17:37,792
MISS SHELDON HAS TO CATCH A
PLANE FROM CLEVELAND.
1943
01:17:37,876 --> 01:17:39,626
SHALL WE DRIVE HER OVER?
1944
01:17:39,709 --> 01:17:41,375
WHY, CERTAINLY.
OH, THANKS, MAGGIE.
1945
01:17:41,459 --> 01:17:43,209
SORRY YOU HAVE
TO GO, MISS SHELDON.
1946
01:17:43,292 --> 01:17:44,876
NO BAD NEWS, I HOPE.
1947
01:17:44,959 --> 01:17:45,918
OH, ON THE CONTRARY,
1948
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:47,250
VERY GOOD NEWS--
WONDERFUL NEWS!
1949
01:17:47,334 --> 01:17:49,542
Maggie: YES, INDEED.
CALLS FOR A DRINK, I THINK.
1950
01:17:49,626 --> 01:17:52,792
YOU'RE NOT A VERY GOOD HOST.
HOW ABOUT A BOTTLE OF
CHAMPAGNE?
1951
01:17:52,876 --> 01:17:54,876
Bert: OH, I CAN DO BETTER.
1952
01:17:54,959 --> 01:17:56,918
LET ME MIX YOU
A JEFFERSON SPECIAL.
1953
01:17:57,000 --> 01:17:58,334
HOW ABOUT IT,
MR. WHITESIDE?
1954
01:17:58,417 --> 01:17:59,584
OH, YES, YES,
YES, YES!
1955
01:17:59,667 --> 01:18:01,876
MIX ANYTHING,
ONLY STOP DRIVELING!
1956
01:18:01,959 --> 01:18:04,209
ANYBODY ADMIRED MY CHRISTMAS
PRESENT YET, MAGGIE?
1957
01:18:04,292 --> 01:18:05,500
OH, I FORGOT.
1958
01:18:05,584 --> 01:18:07,459
FROM MR. JEFFERSON TO ME.
1959
01:18:07,542 --> 01:18:09,876
OH, MAGGIE,
LET ME SEE!
1960
01:18:09,959 --> 01:18:10,959
WHY, THAT'S CHARMING.
1961
01:18:11,042 --> 01:18:12,542
THAT'S A LOVELY
CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
1962
01:18:12,626 --> 01:18:14,125
ISN'T THAT SWEET,
SHERRY?
1963
01:18:14,209 --> 01:18:15,250
DUCKY!
1964
01:18:15,334 --> 01:18:17,542
HA HA HA!
1965
01:18:17,626 --> 01:18:20,000
I TOLD YOU IT WAS
BEAUTIFUL, BERTSIE.
1966
01:18:20,083 --> 01:18:21,584
WHAT'S GOING ON
BETWEEN YOU TWO?
1967
01:18:21,667 --> 01:18:24,125
MAGGIE, ARE YOU HIDING
SOMETHING FROM US?
1968
01:18:24,209 --> 01:18:26,584
GREAT HEAVENS! WILL
THIS DRIVEL NEVER STOP?
1969
01:18:26,667 --> 01:18:28,250
MY HEAD IS BURSTING!
1970
01:18:28,334 --> 01:18:31,250
MY JEFFERSON SPECIAL
WILL CURE ANYTHING.
1971
01:18:31,334 --> 01:18:32,334
BY THE WAY, MAGGIE,
1972
01:18:32,417 --> 01:18:33,584
I GOT A ONE-MINUTE
INTERVIEW
1973
01:18:33,667 --> 01:18:35,167
WITH BEVERLY CARLTON
AT THE STATION.
1974
01:18:35,250 --> 01:18:36,792
YOU WERE RIGHT.
HE'S QUITE SOMETHING!
1975
01:18:36,876 --> 01:18:38,792
GO AHEAD AND MIX
THE DRINKS, WILL YOU?
1976
01:18:38,876 --> 01:18:41,459
I WAS LUCKY. HE WAS IN A
TELEPHONE BOOTH MOSTLY.
1977
01:18:41,542 --> 01:18:42,709
MIX THE DRINKS,
WILL YOU?
1978
01:18:42,792 --> 01:18:44,292
COULDN'T HEAR
WHAT HE WAS SAYING,
1979
01:18:44,375 --> 01:18:47,334
BUT IT LOOKED LIKE A SCENE
FROM ONE OF HIS PLAYS.
1980
01:18:47,417 --> 01:18:51,626
JUST A MOMENT, IF YOU
PLEASE, MR. JEFFERSON.
1981
01:18:51,709 --> 01:18:53,584
MR. CARLTON WAS
IN A TELEPHONE BOOTH
1982
01:18:53,667 --> 01:18:54,959
AT THE STATION?
1983
01:18:55,042 --> 01:18:56,500
I THOUGHT HE'D
NEVER COME OUT.
1984
01:18:56,584 --> 01:18:57,667
KEPT TALKING
AND MAKING
1985
01:18:57,751 --> 01:18:59,918
THE DARNDEST FACES
FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES.
1986
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:01,375
AH, BERT, MY BOY,
1987
01:19:01,459 --> 01:19:03,500
I FEEL I'M GONNA LOVE
THE JEFFERSON SPECIAL.
1988
01:19:03,584 --> 01:19:05,334
MAKE ME A DOUBLE ONE,
WILL YOU?
1989
01:19:05,417 --> 01:19:07,792
MY HEADACHE
IS GONE WITH THE WIND.
1990
01:19:07,876 --> 01:19:09,167
OKAY!
1991
01:19:12,083 --> 01:19:14,792
PHILO VANCE
IS NOW AT WORK.
1992
01:19:18,584 --> 01:19:22,334
OPERATOR? HAVE THERE BEEN
ANY CALLS OVER THIS PHONE
1993
01:19:22,417 --> 01:19:23,834
FROM SOUTH CAROLINA
1994
01:19:23,918 --> 01:19:26,167
DURING THE PAST HALF-HOUR?
1995
01:19:26,250 --> 01:19:27,709
YES, I'LL WAIT.
1996
01:19:27,792 --> 01:19:29,834
SHERRY, WHAT
IS ALL THIS?
1997
01:19:29,918 --> 01:19:31,375
SHH!
1998
01:19:31,459 --> 01:19:32,709
WHAT'S THAT?
1999
01:19:32,792 --> 01:19:34,000
THERE HAVE BEEN NO CALLS
2000
01:19:34,083 --> 01:19:36,500
FROM SOUTH CAROLINA
AT ANY TIME?
2001
01:19:36,584 --> 01:19:39,792
THANK YOU. NOW, WILL YOU
REPEAT THAT, PLEASE?
2002
01:19:39,876 --> 01:19:41,209
BLOSSOM GIRL...
2003
01:19:41,292 --> 01:19:43,876
HEAR IT, DEAR?
2004
01:19:43,959 --> 01:19:46,209
THANK YOU, OPERATOR,
AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!
2005
01:19:46,292 --> 01:19:48,459
SHERRY, WHAT IS ALL
THIS? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
2006
01:19:48,542 --> 01:19:51,083
YOU JUST PLAYED THE GREATEST
LOVE SCENE OF YOUR CAREER
2007
01:19:51,167 --> 01:19:52,584
WITH YOUR OLD FRIEND
BEVERLY CARLTON.
2008
01:19:52,667 --> 01:19:54,709
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I WAS TALKING TO CEDRIC!
2009
01:19:54,792 --> 01:19:55,834
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
2010
01:19:55,918 --> 01:19:57,459
MY BLOSSOM,
THAT WAS BEVERLY
2011
01:19:57,542 --> 01:19:59,834
YOU POURED OUT YOUR HEART TO,
NOT LORD BOTTOMLY!
2012
01:19:59,918 --> 01:20:01,542
WHO WOULD HAVE
THOUGHT 5 MINUTES AGO
2013
01:20:01,626 --> 01:20:03,918
THAT YOU WOULD NOT
BE GOING TO SOUTH CAROLINA?
2014
01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:05,375
SHERRY, I WANT
THIS EXPLAINED!
2015
01:20:05,459 --> 01:20:06,751
EXPLAINED?
YOU'VE HEARD BEVERLY
2016
01:20:06,834 --> 01:20:08,584
IMITATE LORD BOTTOMLY
BEFORE, HAVEN'T YOU?
2017
01:20:08,667 --> 01:20:10,584
WHY, YES, YES,
OF COURSE, BUT WHY?
2018
01:20:10,667 --> 01:20:11,626
WHY IN THE WORLD
2019
01:20:11,709 --> 01:20:13,751
WOULD HE WANT TO DO
SUCH A THING?
2020
01:20:13,834 --> 01:20:16,000
WHY, THIS IS
THE MOST DREADFUL--
2021
01:20:16,083 --> 01:20:18,459
OH! ALL THOSE
TELEGRAMS!
2022
01:20:21,292 --> 01:20:23,292
GIVE ME THE HOTEL
WHATEVER-IT'S-CALLED.
2023
01:20:23,375 --> 01:20:24,626
I WANT THE HOTEL!
2024
01:20:24,709 --> 01:20:26,709
THE RAT! I'LL PAY HIM
BACK FOR THIS
2025
01:20:26,792 --> 01:20:28,209
IF IT'S THE LAST THING--
2026
01:20:28,292 --> 01:20:31,125
WHY, THE SKUNK! THE DIRTY,
ROTTEN--MANSION HOUSE?
2027
01:20:31,209 --> 01:20:32,375
CONNECT ME WITH MY MAID.
2028
01:20:32,459 --> 01:20:34,709
WHAT?! WHO THE DEVIL
DO YOU THINK IT IS?
2029
01:20:34,792 --> 01:20:36,375
MISS SHELDON, OF COURSE!
2030
01:20:36,459 --> 01:20:38,667
OH, IF ONLY COSETTE
HASN'T SENT THOSE--
2031
01:20:38,751 --> 01:20:42,334
COSETTE--COSETTE, DID YOU
SEND THOSE TELEGRAMS?
2032
01:20:42,417 --> 01:20:44,417
OH. OH, NOW, LISTEN,
COSETTE.
2033
01:20:44,500 --> 01:20:47,584
I WANT YOU TO SEND ANOTHER
TELEGRAM TO EVERY ONE OF THEM.
2034
01:20:47,667 --> 01:20:49,334
TELL THEM SOMEBODY'S
BEEN USING MY NAME
2035
01:20:49,417 --> 01:20:50,876
AND TO DISREGARD
ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING
2036
01:20:50,959 --> 01:20:53,584
THEY HEAR FROM ME,
EXCEPT THIS, OF COURSE!
2037
01:20:53,667 --> 01:20:56,250
DON'T ASK QUESTIONS.
DO AS YOU'RE TOLD!
2038
01:20:56,334 --> 01:20:58,042
DON'T ARGUE WITH ME,
YOU FRENCH MORON!
2039
01:20:58,125 --> 01:21:00,417
DO AS YOU'RE TOLD
AND UNPACK! WE'RE NOT GOING!
2040
01:21:00,500 --> 01:21:01,876
Sherry: BLOSSOM,
TAKE IT EASY.
2041
01:21:01,959 --> 01:21:03,167
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
2042
01:21:03,250 --> 01:21:05,751
I'M GOING TO BE
THE LAUGHING STOCK OF NEW YORK.
2043
01:21:05,834 --> 01:21:07,584
I ALWAYS KNEW
BEVERLY CARLTON WAS LOW,
2044
01:21:07,667 --> 01:21:09,083
BUT NOT THIS LOW!
2045
01:21:09,167 --> 01:21:11,709
WHY? WHY? WHY WOULD
ANYONE IN THE WORLD
2046
01:21:11,792 --> 01:21:13,834
WANT TO PLAY
A SILLY TRICK LIKE THIS?
2047
01:21:13,918 --> 01:21:15,000
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT!
2048
01:21:15,083 --> 01:21:16,584
DO YOU, SHERRY?
DO YOU, MAGGIE?
2049
01:21:16,667 --> 01:21:19,918
WHY WOULD HE WALK OUT OF HERE,
GO STRAIGHT TO A TELEPHONE BOOTH
2050
01:21:20,042 --> 01:21:22,918
TRY AND SEND ME TO SOUTH
CAROLINA ON A FOOL'S ERRAND?
2051
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:24,209
THERE MUST BE
SOME REASON!
2052
01:21:24,292 --> 01:21:25,209
WHY WOULD
BEVERLY CARLTON,
2053
01:21:25,292 --> 01:21:26,834
OR ANYONE ELSE
FOR THAT MATTER,
2054
01:21:26,918 --> 01:21:28,125
WANT ME TO--
2055
01:21:32,876 --> 01:21:36,167
OH! I THINK I BEGIN--
2056
01:21:36,250 --> 01:21:39,542
OF COURSE! OF COURSE!
THAT'S IT!
2057
01:21:39,626 --> 01:21:41,459
YES, AND THAT'S
A VERY CHARMING BRACELET
2058
01:21:41,542 --> 01:21:42,584
MR. JEFFERSON GAVE YOU.
2059
01:21:42,667 --> 01:21:44,083
ISN'T IT, MAGGIE,
MY DEAR?
2060
01:21:44,167 --> 01:21:45,709
IT MAKES
COMPLETE SENSE NOW.
2061
01:21:45,792 --> 01:21:47,375
AND TO THINK
THAT I NEARLY--
2062
01:21:47,459 --> 01:21:50,292
WELL, WILD HORSES COULDN'T GET
ME OUT OF HERE NOW, MAGGIE.
2063
01:21:50,375 --> 01:21:52,334
AND IF I WERE YOU,
I'D HANG ON
2064
01:21:52,417 --> 01:21:53,792
TO THAT CHARMING
BRACELET, MY DEAR.
2065
01:21:53,876 --> 01:21:55,876
IT'LL BE SOMETHING
TO REMEMBER HIM BY.
2066
01:21:55,959 --> 01:21:57,542
ALRIGHT, MR. WHITESIDE.
IT'S ALMOST TIME.
2067
01:21:57,626 --> 01:21:59,834
HOOK HIM UP, BOYS,
AND START TESTING, WILL YOU?
2068
01:21:59,918 --> 01:22:02,292
HELP US MOVE THIS FURNITURE
OUT OF THE WAY.
2069
01:22:02,375 --> 01:22:03,500
HERE'S THE NEW SCRIPT.
2070
01:22:03,584 --> 01:22:04,500
COME, DAISY.
2071
01:22:04,584 --> 01:22:06,584
Man: TESTING.
1, 2, 3, 4.
2072
01:22:06,667 --> 01:22:07,834
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB.
2073
01:22:07,918 --> 01:22:10,125
1, 2, 3, 4. MARY HAD
A LITTLE LAMB.
2074
01:22:10,209 --> 01:22:11,626
HERE COMES
THE JEFFERSON SPECIAL.
2075
01:22:11,709 --> 01:22:14,334
- OH, HAVE WE TIME?
- I'M SURE WE DO, MR. JEFFERSON.
2076
01:22:14,417 --> 01:22:16,751
I'M NOT LEAVING AFTER ALL.
MY PLANS ARE CHANGED.
2077
01:22:16,834 --> 01:22:17,918
REALLY? OH,
THAT'S GOOD.
2078
01:22:18,000 --> 01:22:20,167
AND YOU CAN READ THE
PLAY TO ME TONIGHT.
2079
01:22:20,250 --> 01:22:22,709
WE'LL GO BACK TO THE MANSION
HOUSE RIGHT AFTER DINNER.
2080
01:22:22,792 --> 01:22:25,500
I'D BE DELIGHTED.
MAGGIE, DID YOU HEAR THAT?
2081
01:22:25,584 --> 01:22:28,375
SAY, I'LL BET YOU DID THIS.
YOU ARRANGED THE WHOLE THING.
2082
01:22:28,459 --> 01:22:31,250
WELL, IT'S THE FINEST CHRISTMAS
PRESENT YOU COULD'VE GIVEN ME.
2083
01:22:37,209 --> 01:22:39,500
MAGGIE! MAGGIE!
2084
01:22:39,584 --> 01:22:41,250
[DOOR SLAMS]
2085
01:22:43,209 --> 01:22:45,626
- MR. WHITESIDE.
- I DON'T NEED IT.
2086
01:22:45,709 --> 01:22:47,709
MY SON HAS RUN OFF
ON A FREIGHTER,
2087
01:22:47,792 --> 01:22:49,542
AND MY DAUGHTER
IS MARRYING A UNITER!
2088
01:22:49,626 --> 01:22:51,876
OH, I SEE
YOU'RE STILL BUSY.
2089
01:22:51,959 --> 01:22:53,542
STAND BACK FROM
THE MICROPHONE!
2090
01:22:53,626 --> 01:22:55,042
LET MR. WHITESIDE
BROADCAST, PLEASE.
2091
01:22:55,125 --> 01:22:56,375
[PENGUINS SQUAWKING]
2092
01:22:56,459 --> 01:22:58,292
Wescott: GET THE HECK
OUT OF HERE.
2093
01:22:58,375 --> 01:22:59,542
WE'RE GOING ON AIR!
2094
01:22:59,626 --> 01:23:01,083
ALRIGHT, BOYS.
STEP RIGHT THIS WAY.
2095
01:23:01,167 --> 01:23:03,667
WE'LL USE THE
MICROPHONE OVER HERE.
2096
01:23:03,751 --> 01:23:06,209
SNAP INTO IT, FELLAS.
SNAP INTO IT!
2097
01:23:06,292 --> 01:23:08,000
OKAY, NEW YORK.
2098
01:23:08,083 --> 01:23:09,083
Wescott: CREAM OF MUSH
2099
01:23:09,167 --> 01:23:11,959
BRINGS YOU
SHERIDAN WHITESIDE.
2100
01:23:12,042 --> 01:23:16,584
♪ SILENT NIGHT... ♪
2101
01:23:16,667 --> 01:23:19,584
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
2102
01:23:19,667 --> 01:23:20,876
A PENGUIN BIT ME.
2103
01:23:20,959 --> 01:23:23,375
♪ ALL IS CALM... ♪
2104
01:23:23,459 --> 01:23:26,042
THIS IS WHITESIDE SPEAKING.
2105
01:23:26,125 --> 01:23:27,667
ON THIS EVE OF EVES,
2106
01:23:27,751 --> 01:23:31,292
WHEN MY OWN HEART IS OVERFLOWING
WITH PEACE AND KINDNESS,
2107
01:23:31,375 --> 01:23:33,626
I THINK IT'S MOST FITTING
TO TELL, ONCE AGAIN,
2108
01:23:33,709 --> 01:23:36,417
THE STORY OF THAT STILL
AND LUSTROUS NIGHT.
2109
01:23:38,334 --> 01:23:40,083
A FINE CHRISTMAS
MORNING--
2110
01:23:40,167 --> 01:23:42,125
MRS. STANLEY UP THERE
CRYING IN HER ROOM,
2111
01:23:42,209 --> 01:23:43,667
MR. STANLEY OFF
IN CHICAGO SOMEPLACE.
2112
01:23:43,751 --> 01:23:46,584
YOU THINK HE'LL CATCH THEM
IN TIME TO STOP THE MARRIAGE?
2113
01:23:46,667 --> 01:23:48,083
I DON'T KNOW, SARAH.
2114
01:23:48,167 --> 01:23:50,083
NOBODY KNOWS WHERE
MR. RICHARD WENT.
2115
01:23:50,167 --> 01:23:52,751
EVEN MR. WHITESIDE NEAR BIT
MY HEAD OFF THIS MORNING
2116
01:23:52,834 --> 01:23:54,500
WHEN I ASKED IF
HE WANTED BREAKFAST.
2117
01:23:54,584 --> 01:23:56,334
MISS CUTLER DIDN'T TAKE
ANY BREAKFAST, EITHER.
2118
01:23:56,417 --> 01:23:57,626
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH EVERYBODY?
2119
01:23:57,709 --> 01:23:59,292
GOOD MORNING, MR.
WHITESIDE.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
2120
01:23:59,375 --> 01:24:00,459
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
MR. WHITESIDE.
2121
01:24:00,542 --> 01:24:01,876
OH, MERRY CHRISTMAS,
JOHN, SARAH.
2122
01:24:01,959 --> 01:24:04,542
- HAS MISS CUTLER COME DOWN
YET?
- NO, SIR. NOT YET.
2123
01:24:04,626 --> 01:24:05,834
- SHE'S STILL IN HER ROOM?
2124
01:24:05,918 --> 01:24:07,334
YES, SIR.
SHALL I CALL HER?
2125
01:24:07,417 --> 01:24:10,375
- NO. THANK YOU, JOHN.
- YES, SIR.
2126
01:24:10,459 --> 01:24:12,626
YOU DON'T THINK IT'S ALL
GOT SOMETHING TO DO
2127
01:24:12,709 --> 01:24:14,918
WITH MR. WHITESIDE,
DO YOU? ALL THESE GOINGS-ON?
2128
01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:18,042
MR. WHITESIDE? A LOVELY
MAN LIKE HIM? NO!
2129
01:24:27,918 --> 01:24:30,292
YOU CAN DROP THAT GUILTY
EXPRESSION, SHERRY.
2130
01:24:30,375 --> 01:24:31,792
IT'S NOT
A GUILTY EXPRESSION.
2131
01:24:31,876 --> 01:24:34,125
IT'S SIMPLY THAT I HAVEN'T
HAD MY BREAKFAST YET.
2132
01:24:34,209 --> 01:24:36,167
NOW, MAGGIE, IF YOU'D
ONLY LISTEN TO REASON--
2133
01:24:36,250 --> 01:24:38,250
I'M TAKING THE 1:00 TRAIN.
I'M LEAVING.
2134
01:24:38,334 --> 01:24:39,959
YOU'RE DOING NOTHING
OF THE KIND.
2135
01:24:40,042 --> 01:24:42,459
HERE ARE YOUR KEYS,
YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE.
2136
01:24:42,542 --> 01:24:45,792
THE KEY TO THE SAFETY VAULT IS
IN YOUR APARTMENT IN NEW YORK.
2137
01:24:45,876 --> 01:24:50,000
- I'M GOING TO CLEAR THINGS UP.
- NOW JUST A MOMENT, SARAH.
2138
01:24:50,083 --> 01:24:51,292
WHERE WERE YOU THIS MORNING?
2139
01:24:51,375 --> 01:24:53,792
I SAT UP HALF THE NIGHT
WORRYING ABOUT YOU.
2140
01:24:53,876 --> 01:24:56,500
YOU HEARD ME CALLING TO YOU
WHEN YOU CAME IN.
2141
01:24:56,584 --> 01:24:57,751
WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER ME?
2142
01:24:57,834 --> 01:24:59,417
LOOK, IT'S
ALL OVER, AND YOU WON.
2143
01:24:59,500 --> 01:25:02,500
- I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT
IT.
- OH? COME, COME, COME, COME.
2144
01:25:02,584 --> 01:25:05,292
ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME
FEEL LIKE A NAUGHTY BOY?
2145
01:25:05,375 --> 01:25:07,959
HONESTLY, MAGGIE, SOMETIMES
YOU CAN BE VERY ANNOYING.
2146
01:25:09,792 --> 01:25:13,959
SHERRY, YOU'RE
QUITE WONDERFUL IN A WAY.
2147
01:25:14,042 --> 01:25:16,083
YOU'RE ANNOYED.
2148
01:25:16,167 --> 01:25:19,250
I WISH I HAD
A LAUGH LEFT IN ME.
2149
01:25:20,250 --> 01:25:22,542
SHALL I TELL YOU
SOMETHING, SHERRY?
2150
01:25:22,626 --> 01:25:25,167
I THINK YOU'RE
A SELFISH, PETTY EGOMANIAC
2151
01:25:25,250 --> 01:25:28,500
WHO WOULD JUST AS SOON SEE HIS
MOTHER BURNING AT A STAKE IF--
2152
01:25:28,584 --> 01:25:32,042
WELL, IF THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY
HE HAD OF LIGHTING A CIGARETTE.
2153
01:25:32,125 --> 01:25:33,876
I THINK YOU'D SACRIFICE
YOUR BEST FRIEND
2154
01:25:33,959 --> 01:25:35,834
WITHOUT A MOMENT'S
HESITATION
2155
01:25:35,918 --> 01:25:37,876
IF HE INTERRUPTED
THE SACRED RITUAL
2156
01:25:37,959 --> 01:25:41,042
OF YOUR SELF-CENTERED,
PALTRY LITTLE LIFE.
2157
01:25:41,125 --> 01:25:42,250
I THINK YOU'RE INCAPABLE
2158
01:25:42,334 --> 01:25:44,667
OF ANY EMOTION HIGHER UP
THAN YOUR STOMACH,
2159
01:25:44,751 --> 01:25:48,375
AND I WAS THE FOOL OF THE
WORLD
FOR EVER TRUSTING YOU.
2160
01:25:48,459 --> 01:25:49,709
WELL.
2161
01:25:49,792 --> 01:25:50,918
AS LONG AS I LIVE,
2162
01:25:51,000 --> 01:25:52,876
I'LL NEVER DO ANYONE
A GOOD TURN AGAIN.
2163
01:25:52,959 --> 01:25:56,042
I SHAN'T ASK YOU TO APOLOGIZE,
MAGGIE, BUT 6 MONTHS FROM NOW,
2164
01:25:56,125 --> 01:25:58,167
YOU'LL BE THANKING ME
INSTEAD OF BERATING ME.
2165
01:25:58,250 --> 01:25:59,584
SHERRY,
IN 6 MONTHS' TIME,
2166
01:25:59,667 --> 01:26:01,876
I'LL BE SO FAR
AWAY FROM YOU THAT--
2167
01:26:01,959 --> 01:26:03,792
[DOOR CLOSES]
2168
01:26:04,792 --> 01:26:06,459
[DRUNKENLY]
HELLO, HELLO!
2169
01:26:06,542 --> 01:26:09,000
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
2170
01:26:09,083 --> 01:26:11,542
I'M A LITTLE HIGH,
BUT I CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.
2171
01:26:11,626 --> 01:26:13,959
HIYA, MAGGIE.
HIYA, MR. WHITESIDE.
2172
01:26:14,042 --> 01:26:16,292
SHAKE HANDS WITH
A SUCCESSFUL PLAYWRIGHT.
2173
01:26:16,375 --> 01:26:19,417
MAGGIE, WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY
LAST NIGHT? WHERE WERE YOU?
2174
01:26:19,500 --> 01:26:21,125
MISS SHELDON THINKS
THE PLAY IS WONDERFUL.
2175
01:26:21,209 --> 01:26:23,876
I READ HER THE PLAY,
AND SHE THINKS IT'S
WONDERFUL.
2176
01:26:23,959 --> 01:26:25,292
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
2177
01:26:25,375 --> 01:26:26,417
THAT'S FINE, BERT.
2178
01:26:26,500 --> 01:26:27,959
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL,
MR. WHITESIDE?
2179
01:26:28,042 --> 01:26:30,584
JEFFERSON, I THINK YOU
OUGHT TO GO HOME, DON'T YOU?
2180
01:26:30,667 --> 01:26:32,584
WHAT? NO!
BIGGEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
2181
01:26:32,667 --> 01:26:35,667
I KNOW I'M A LITTLE DRUNK,
BUT THIS IS A BIG DAY.
2182
01:26:35,751 --> 01:26:38,417
WE'VE BEEN SITTING OVER IN
BILLY'S TAVERN ALL NIGHT
LONG.
2183
01:26:38,500 --> 01:26:41,250
MAGGIE, MISS SHELDON THINKS
THE PLAY NEEDS A LITTLE FIXING.
2184
01:26:41,334 --> 01:26:43,709
DO IT IN 3 WEEKS.
WE'RE GOING TO A PLACE
2185
01:26:43,792 --> 01:26:46,542
SHE'S GOT IN LAKE PLACID
TO WORK ON THE PLAY TOGETHER.
2186
01:26:46,626 --> 01:26:48,959
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL? WHY DON'T
YOU SAY SOMETHING, MAGGIE?
2187
01:26:49,042 --> 01:26:51,334
NOW, BERT, YOU TELL US
ALL ABOUT THIS LATER.
2188
01:26:51,417 --> 01:26:53,334
RIGHT NOW,
YOU OUGHT TO GO HOME.
2189
01:26:53,417 --> 01:26:57,042
EXCUSE ME. MERRY CHRISTMAS,
EVERYBODY. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
2190
01:26:57,125 --> 01:26:58,584
I THOUGHT
THAT PERHAPS--
2191
01:26:58,667 --> 01:27:01,125
DR. BRADLEY, A FAVOR, PLEASE.
MR. JEFFERSON WOULD LIKE
2192
01:27:01,209 --> 01:27:02,876
SOME BLACK COFFEE
AND A LITTLE BREAKFAST.
2193
01:27:02,959 --> 01:27:04,626
WOULD YOU TAKE CARE
OF HIM, PLEASE?
2194
01:27:04,709 --> 01:27:07,792
- YES, YES, OF COURSE.
- I WANNA BUY IT FOR YOU--
2195
01:27:07,876 --> 01:27:10,000
THE BIGGEST BREAKFAST
YOU EVER HAD.
2196
01:27:10,083 --> 01:27:12,626
- I KNOW WHAT WE'LL DO,
DOCTOR.
- YES, COME ALONG, JEFFERSON.
2197
01:27:12,709 --> 01:27:14,375
LET'S CLIMB DOWN
A COUPLE OF CHIMNEYS.
2198
01:27:14,459 --> 01:27:16,876
I'VE GOT A FRIEND THAT
DOESN'T BELIEVE IN SANTA
CLAUS.
2199
01:27:16,959 --> 01:27:20,626
LET'S CLIMB DOWN HIS CHIMNEY
AND SCARE THE PANTS OFF OF HIM.
2200
01:27:20,709 --> 01:27:21,792
NOW, LOOK HERE, MAGGIE,
2201
01:27:21,876 --> 01:27:24,125
I'M WILLING TO FORGIVE
YOUR TAWDRY OUTBURST
2202
01:27:24,209 --> 01:27:26,459
AND TALK ABOUT THIS
CALMLY.
2203
01:27:26,542 --> 01:27:29,292
OH, SHERRY,
I LOVE HIM SO TERRIBLY.
2204
01:27:29,375 --> 01:27:32,292
WHY DID YOU DO IT?
WHY DID YOU DO IT?
2205
01:27:43,667 --> 01:27:45,626
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
MR. WHITESIDE.
2206
01:27:45,709 --> 01:27:47,584
OH, MERRY CHRISTMAS,
MISS STANLEY.
2207
01:27:47,667 --> 01:27:50,250
I'M AFRAID I SHOULDN'T
BE SEEN TALKING TO YOU.
2208
01:27:50,334 --> 01:27:53,209
MY BROTHER IS
TERRIBLY ANGRY,
2209
01:27:53,292 --> 01:27:55,209
BUT I COULDN'T RESIST
ASKING.
2210
01:27:55,292 --> 01:27:57,626
DID YOU LIKE
MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT?
2211
01:27:57,709 --> 01:27:59,209
OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY,
MISS STANLEY.
2212
01:27:59,292 --> 01:28:00,667
I HAVEN'T OPENED IT YET.
2213
01:28:00,751 --> 01:28:03,083
WELL, I HAVEN'T OPENED
ANY OF MY PRESENTS YET.
2214
01:28:03,167 --> 01:28:07,167
OH, DEAR. I WAS
SO ANXIOUS TO...
2215
01:28:07,250 --> 01:28:09,667
WHY, IT'S RIGHT HERE,
MR. WHITESIDE.
2216
01:28:09,751 --> 01:28:11,209
WON'T YOU OPEN IT NOW?
2217
01:28:11,292 --> 01:28:13,083
I APPRECIATE THAT
YOU'RE THINKING OF ME
2218
01:28:13,167 --> 01:28:14,083
THIS WAY, MISS STANLEY.
2219
01:28:14,167 --> 01:28:17,751
IT WAS VERY
THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
2220
01:28:17,834 --> 01:28:19,209
WHY, IT'S LOVELY.
2221
01:28:19,292 --> 01:28:21,083
I'M VERY FOND
OF THESE OLD...
2222
01:28:21,167 --> 01:28:23,667
PHOTOGRAPHS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
2223
01:28:23,751 --> 01:28:26,667
I WAS 22
WHEN THAT WAS TAKEN.
2224
01:28:26,751 --> 01:28:29,292
THAT WAS
MY FAVORITE DRESS...
2225
01:28:29,375 --> 01:28:31,542
BUT DO YOU
REALLY LIKE IT?
2226
01:28:31,626 --> 01:28:33,876
I DO INDEED. WHEN
I GET BACK TO TOWN,
2227
01:28:33,959 --> 01:28:35,667
I SHALL SEND YOU
A LITTLE GIFT.
2228
01:28:35,751 --> 01:28:38,209
WILL YOU? OH, THANK YOU,
MR. WHITESIDE.
2229
01:28:38,292 --> 01:28:40,375
I SHALL TREASURE IT.
2230
01:28:41,834 --> 01:28:43,250
WELL...
2231
01:28:43,334 --> 01:28:45,959
I SHALL BE LATE
FOR CHURCH.
2232
01:28:48,459 --> 01:28:50,375
GOODBYE.
2233
01:28:52,542 --> 01:28:54,375
GOODBYE.
2234
01:28:55,334 --> 01:28:57,375
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
2235
01:28:59,667 --> 01:29:02,209
SARAH'S GOT A LITTLE
SURPRISE
FOR YOU, MR. WHITESIDE.
2236
01:29:02,292 --> 01:29:04,250
SHE'S JUST TAKING IT
OUT OF THE OVEN.
2237
01:29:04,334 --> 01:29:05,751
Whiteside:
OH, THANK YOU, JOHN.
2238
01:29:06,918 --> 01:29:09,417
WHAT IS THERE
ABOUT THAT WOMAN?
2239
01:29:12,459 --> 01:29:14,417
[DOORBELL RINGING]
2240
01:29:19,500 --> 01:29:21,209
MISS PREEN!
2241
01:29:21,292 --> 01:29:22,209
MISS PREEN!
2242
01:29:22,292 --> 01:29:23,792
YES, SIR.
YES, SIR!
2243
01:29:23,876 --> 01:29:26,417
MISS PREEN, WHERE DO YOU
HIDE YOURSELF ALL THE TIME?
2244
01:29:26,500 --> 01:29:29,792
MR. WHITESIDE, I CAN ONLY BE
IN ONE PLACE AT A TIME.
2245
01:29:29,876 --> 01:29:32,459
WELL, THAT'S VERY FORTUNATE
FOR THIS COMMUNITY.
2246
01:29:32,542 --> 01:29:35,250
NOW, GO AND ANSWER THE DOOR.
JOHN'S GONE UPSTAIRS.
2247
01:29:35,334 --> 01:29:36,459
GO ON!
2248
01:29:36,542 --> 01:29:39,000
[DOORBELL RINGING]
2249
01:29:45,500 --> 01:29:48,667
AH, MY BEAUTIFUL ONE!
2250
01:29:51,417 --> 01:29:52,959
YOU'RE GORGEOUS!
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!
2251
01:29:53,042 --> 01:29:54,834
- PUT ME DOWN!
- I LOVE YOU MADLY!
2252
01:29:54,918 --> 01:29:56,292
PUT ME DOWN,
DO YOU HEAR?
2253
01:29:56,375 --> 01:29:58,792
MADLY! YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?
MADLY! KISS ME!
2254
01:29:58,876 --> 01:30:01,626
DON'T YOU DARE KISS ME!
PUT ME DOWN, OR I'LL SCREAM!
2255
01:30:01,709 --> 01:30:03,751
DON'T BE AFRAID
OF MY HOT SPANISH BLOOD!
2256
01:30:03,834 --> 01:30:05,918
KISS ME! I CAN FEEL
THE HOT BLOOD
2257
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:07,626
POUNDING THROUGH YOUR
VARICOSE VEINS!
2258
01:30:07,709 --> 01:30:09,334
- BANJO!
- WHITESIDE!
2259
01:30:09,417 --> 01:30:11,626
WILL YOU SIGN
FOR THIS PACKAGE, PLEASE?
2260
01:30:11,709 --> 01:30:12,834
PUT THAT WOMAN DOWN.
2261
01:30:12,918 --> 01:30:15,667
THAT'S MY NURSE,
YOU MENTAL DELINQUENT.
2262
01:30:15,751 --> 01:30:18,292
COME TO MY ROOM
IN A HALF-HOUR...
2263
01:30:18,375 --> 01:30:20,876
AND BRING
SOME RYE BREAD.
2264
01:30:20,959 --> 01:30:22,209
AAH!
2265
01:30:22,292 --> 01:30:24,417
HA HA HA!
2266
01:30:24,918 --> 01:30:26,209
REALLY!
2267
01:30:26,292 --> 01:30:28,667
MR. WHITESIDE!
2268
01:30:31,083 --> 01:30:33,709
HA HA HA!
2269
01:30:33,792 --> 01:30:37,459
WHITESIDE, I'M HERE
TO SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH YOU!
2270
01:30:37,542 --> 01:30:38,834
I THINK...
2271
01:30:38,918 --> 01:30:40,959
I MAY STAY A MONTH...
2272
01:30:41,042 --> 01:30:42,834
OR I MAY LEAVE
IMMEDIATELY.
2273
01:30:42,918 --> 01:30:45,667
I DON'T KNOW.
THINGS ARE SO UNCERTAIN.
2274
01:30:45,751 --> 01:30:47,167
[PLAYING PIANO]
2275
01:30:47,250 --> 01:30:49,209
♪ DID YOU EVER HAVE THE
FEELING
THAT YOU WANTED TO GO ♪
2276
01:30:49,292 --> 01:30:51,667
♪ AND STILL HAVE THE FEELING
THAT YOU WANTED TO STAY? ♪
2277
01:30:51,751 --> 01:30:53,751
♪ YOU KNEW IT WAS RIGHT,
WASN'T WRONG ♪
2278
01:30:53,834 --> 01:30:55,709
♪ STILL YOU KNEW
YOU WOULDN'T BE VERY LONG ♪
2279
01:30:55,792 --> 01:30:57,876
♪ IT'S TOUGH TO HAVE THE
FEELING
THAT YOU WANTED TO GO ♪
2280
01:30:57,959 --> 01:31:00,167
♪ STILL HAVE THE FEELING
THAT YOU WANTED TO STAY ♪
2281
01:31:00,250 --> 01:31:02,334
♪ START TO GO,
CHANGE YOUR MIND ♪
2282
01:31:02,417 --> 01:31:04,083
♪ START TO GO AGAIN,
BUT CHANGE YOUR MIND AGAIN ♪
2283
01:31:04,167 --> 01:31:06,500
♪ AND STILL HAVE THE FEELING
THAT YOU WANTED TO GO ♪
2284
01:31:06,584 --> 01:31:08,751
♪ STILL HAVE THE FEELING
THAT YOU WANTED TO STAY ♪
2285
01:31:08,834 --> 01:31:11,542
♪ DO, RE, MI, FA,
SOL, LA, SI, DO ♪
2286
01:31:11,626 --> 01:31:12,542
♪ I GO ♪
2287
01:31:12,626 --> 01:31:14,042
♪ I'LL STAY-- ♪
2288
01:31:14,125 --> 01:31:17,209
OH, WILL YOU SHUT UP,
YOU REFORM-SCHOOL
FUGITIVE?
2289
01:31:17,292 --> 01:31:18,834
HA HA HA!
2290
01:31:18,918 --> 01:31:21,250
WHITESIDE, I LOVES YOU.
I LOVES YOU.
2291
01:31:21,334 --> 01:31:22,834
HOW DID YOU
GET HERE, ANYWAY?
2292
01:31:22,918 --> 01:31:24,751
SANTA CLAUS LOANED ME
HIS REINDEER.
2293
01:31:24,834 --> 01:31:27,959
WHITESIDE, WE FINISHED
SHOOTING THE PICTURE YESTERDAY,
2294
01:31:28,042 --> 01:31:29,417
SO WHAT DID I DO?
2295
01:31:29,500 --> 01:31:31,459
I BORROWED A B-19
FROM THE ARMY,
2296
01:31:31,542 --> 01:31:34,083
AND I'M ON MY WAY
TO NOVA SCOTIA.
2297
01:31:34,167 --> 01:31:36,209
OH, SHH.
2298
01:31:36,292 --> 01:31:38,584
I'VE BROUGHT YOU
A WONDERFUL PRESENT.
2299
01:31:38,667 --> 01:31:41,375
THIS SWEATER WAS ONCE
WORN BY LANA TURNER.
2300
01:31:41,459 --> 01:31:43,417
TRY IT ON FOR SIZE.
2301
01:31:43,500 --> 01:31:44,667
HOW LONG
CAN YOU STAY?
2302
01:31:44,751 --> 01:31:47,459
JUST LONG ENOUGH
TO TAKE A BATH.
2303
01:31:47,542 --> 01:31:48,792
AHH!
2304
01:31:48,876 --> 01:31:51,584
I'M ON MY WAY TO NOVA
SCOTIA.
WHERE'S MAGGIE?
2305
01:31:51,667 --> 01:31:54,083
NOVA SCOTIA? WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO NOVA SCOTIA FOR?
2306
01:31:54,167 --> 01:31:56,876
I'M SICK OF HOLLYWOOD,
AND THERE'S A DAME IN NEW YORK
2307
01:31:56,959 --> 01:32:00,375
I DON'T WANT TO SEE, SO
I FIGURED I'D GO TO NOVA
SCOTIA
2308
01:32:00,459 --> 01:32:01,834
AND GET
SOME SMOKED SALMON.
2309
01:32:01,918 --> 01:32:04,459
NOW, WHERE THE DEVIL'S
MAGGIE?
I WANT TO SEE HER.
2310
01:32:04,542 --> 01:32:07,083
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
WHERE IS SHE?
2311
01:32:07,167 --> 01:32:10,250
AH, BUMBUMS.
2312
01:32:10,334 --> 01:32:11,918
Whiteside: BANJO,
I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
2313
01:32:12,000 --> 01:32:13,918
I'M VERY ANNOYED
AT MAGGIE--VERY.
2314
01:32:14,000 --> 01:32:16,167
WHY? WHAT'S
THE MATTER?
2315
01:32:19,167 --> 01:32:21,417
SAY, WHAT IS THIS?
I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T
WALK.
2316
01:32:21,500 --> 01:32:23,709
I'VE BEEN ALRIGHT FOR WEEKS.
THAT ISN'T THE POINT.
2317
01:32:23,792 --> 01:32:25,751
I'M FURIOUS AT MAGGIE.
SHE'S TURNED ON ME.
2318
01:32:25,834 --> 01:32:28,792
YOU KNOW HOW FOND I AM OF HER.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,
2319
01:32:28,876 --> 01:32:31,125
SHE'S REPAYING MY AFFECTIONS
BY BEHAVING LIKE A FISHWIFE.
2320
01:32:31,209 --> 01:32:33,918
IF I BELIEVED THAT SHE WAS
REALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM--
2321
01:32:34,000 --> 01:32:38,083
IN LOVE WITH WHO?
I JUST GOT HERE! REMEMBER?
2322
01:32:38,167 --> 01:32:40,542
I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU,
YOU HOLLYWOOD NITWIT.
2323
01:32:40,626 --> 01:32:42,876
A YOUNG NEWSPAPERMAN
HERE IN TOWN.
2324
01:32:42,959 --> 01:32:45,292
SO MAGGIE
FINALLY FELL.
2325
01:32:45,375 --> 01:32:48,626
WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
SAY, WHAT KIND OF A GUY IS HE?
2326
01:32:48,709 --> 01:32:51,417
- SHUT UP AND LISTEN, WILL
YOU?
- WELL, GO ON. WHAT HAPPENED?
2327
01:32:51,500 --> 01:32:54,375
WELL, LORRAINE SHELDON HAPPENED
TO COME OUT HERE AND VISIT ME.
2328
01:32:54,459 --> 01:32:55,876
THE "UMPH" GIRL
HERE? WELL--
2329
01:32:55,959 --> 01:32:59,500
NOW, LISTEN, THIS YOUNG FELLOW
HAD WRITTEN A PLAY.
2330
01:32:59,584 --> 01:33:00,959
WELL, YOU CAN GUESS
THE REST.
2331
01:33:01,042 --> 01:33:02,918
HE'S GOING AWAY WITH LORRAINE
THIS AFTERNOON...
2332
01:33:03,000 --> 01:33:04,417
TO REWRITE.
HMM.
2333
01:33:04,500 --> 01:33:07,751
SO THERE YOU ARE. MAGGIE'S IN
THERE NOW CRYING HER EYES OUT.
2334
01:33:07,834 --> 01:33:09,125
GEE.
2335
01:33:10,667 --> 01:33:12,125
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
LORRAINE SHELDON
2336
01:33:12,209 --> 01:33:13,542
HAPPENED
TO COME HERE?
2337
01:33:13,626 --> 01:33:16,500
I SMELL A RAT, SHERRY--
A RAT WITH A BEARD.
2338
01:33:16,584 --> 01:33:18,500
WELL, ALRIGHT,
BUT I DID IT FOR MAGGIE
2339
01:33:18,584 --> 01:33:21,000
BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS
THE RIGHT THING FOR HER.
2340
01:33:21,083 --> 01:33:24,417
SURE. YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT
OF YOURSELF IN YEARS.
2341
01:33:24,500 --> 01:33:27,167
GEE, POOR KID. CAN I
GO IN AND TALK TO HER?
2342
01:33:27,250 --> 01:33:29,834
- OH, LEAVE HER ALONE.
- SAY, WHERE DOES THIS GUY
LIVE?
2343
01:33:29,918 --> 01:33:33,042
- CAN WE GET A HOLD OF HIM?
- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, BANJO.
2344
01:33:33,125 --> 01:33:34,584
WE DON'T WANT
ANY PHONY WARRANTS
2345
01:33:34,667 --> 01:33:37,334
OR YOU PRETENDING TO BE
J. EDGAR HOOVER.
2346
01:33:37,417 --> 01:33:39,334
I'VE BEEN ALL THROUGH THAT
WITH YOU BEFORE.
2347
01:33:39,417 --> 01:33:42,626
I GOT LORRAINE OUT HERE,
AND I'VE GOT TO GET HER AWAY.
2348
01:33:42,709 --> 01:33:44,083
IT'S GOT TO BE
GOOD, SHERRY.
2349
01:33:44,167 --> 01:33:46,125
LORRAINE'S NO DOPE. NOW, THERE
MUST BE SOMETHING
2350
01:33:46,209 --> 01:33:48,918
THAT'D GET HER OUT OF HERE
LIKE A BAT OUT OF--
2351
01:33:49,000 --> 01:33:52,417
I GOT IT. THAT ENGLISHMAN
SHE'S SO CRAZY ABOUT--
2352
01:33:52,500 --> 01:33:53,459
WHAT'S HIS NAME AGAIN?
2353
01:33:53,542 --> 01:33:55,709
LORD, UH--
LORD BOTTOMLY!
2354
01:33:55,792 --> 01:33:58,542
- THAT'S IT-- BOTTOMLY!
- NO, BANJO, NO!
2355
01:33:58,626 --> 01:34:00,292
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU DON'T CATCH ON.
2356
01:34:00,375 --> 01:34:02,292
WE SEND LORRAINE A TELEGRAM
FROM THIS BIRD--
2357
01:34:02,375 --> 01:34:06,167
I CATCH ON, BANJO. LORRAINE
CAUGHT ON, TOO. IT'S BEEN
TRIED.
2358
01:34:06,250 --> 01:34:08,709
OH, I TOLD YOU
LORRAINE WAS NO DOPE.
2359
01:34:08,792 --> 01:34:11,334
WELL, YOU'VE GOT A TOUGH
PROPOSITION ON YOUR HANDS.
2360
01:34:11,417 --> 01:34:12,834
YES, AND THERE'S
SO LITTLE TIME.
2361
01:34:12,918 --> 01:34:14,918
LORRAINE'S TAKING HIM AWAY
WITH HER THIS AFTERNOON.
2362
01:34:15,000 --> 01:34:16,959
THERE MUST BE
SOME WAY OUT OF THIS.
2363
01:34:17,042 --> 01:34:18,834
OH, I'VE DONE
THIS JOB TOO WELL.
2364
01:34:18,918 --> 01:34:20,042
STUCK, HUH?
2365
01:34:20,125 --> 01:34:22,209
IN THE WORDS OF
A GREAT LYRIC POET,
2366
01:34:22,292 --> 01:34:23,334
YOU SAID IT.
2367
01:34:23,417 --> 01:34:25,375
LISTEN, I'M HUNGRY.
DON'T WORRY.
2368
01:34:25,459 --> 01:34:26,709
WE'LL THINK OF
SOMETHING, SHERRY.
2369
01:34:26,792 --> 01:34:28,209
WE'LL GET LORRAINE
OUT OF HERE
2370
01:34:28,292 --> 01:34:31,000
IF I GOTTA DO IT
A PIECE AT A TIME.
2371
01:34:31,083 --> 01:34:32,209
[DOOR OPENS]
2372
01:34:32,292 --> 01:34:34,626
GET OUT OF MY CHAIR.
GO ON. GET.
2373
01:34:34,709 --> 01:34:37,417
MR. WHITESIDE--
OH, EXCUSE ME.
2374
01:34:37,500 --> 01:34:40,667
COME RIGHT IN, SARAH.
IT'S QUITE ALRIGHT.
2375
01:34:40,751 --> 01:34:42,584
I'VE GOT SOMETHING
FOR YOU.
2376
01:34:42,667 --> 01:34:44,500
YOU HAVE?
2377
01:34:44,584 --> 01:34:46,834
BUT, MR. WHITESIDE,
IT WAS FOR YOU.
2378
01:34:46,918 --> 01:34:47,918
OH, NEVER MIND,
SARAH.
2379
01:34:48,000 --> 01:34:49,292
HE'S QUITE MAD.
2380
01:34:49,375 --> 01:34:52,292
- COME, PETRUSHKA! WE'LL
DANCE!
- BUT, MR. WHITESIDE--
2381
01:34:52,375 --> 01:34:55,125
WE'LL DANCE IN THE SNOW
WHILE ALL ST. PETERSBURG
2382
01:34:55,209 --> 01:34:56,667
IS AFLAME
WITH JEALOUSY!
2383
01:34:56,751 --> 01:34:58,042
HA HA HA!
2384
01:34:58,125 --> 01:34:59,834
JUST GIVE HIM
SOME BREAKFAST, SARAH.
2385
01:34:59,918 --> 01:35:01,834
HE'S HARMLESS.
2386
01:35:01,918 --> 01:35:04,125
[WHITESIDE LAUGHING]
2387
01:35:08,167 --> 01:35:09,292
JUST WHAT
DOES THIS MEAN?
2388
01:35:09,375 --> 01:35:11,584
IT MEANS, MR. WHITESIDE,
THAT I AM LEAVING.
2389
01:35:11,667 --> 01:35:13,459
MY ADDRESS IS
ON THE DESK INSIDE.
2390
01:35:13,542 --> 01:35:15,000
YOU CAN SEND ME
A CHECK.
2391
01:35:15,083 --> 01:35:18,000
YOU REALIZE, MISS PREEN, THIS
IS COMPLETELY UNPROFESSIONAL.
2392
01:35:18,083 --> 01:35:19,250
I DO INDEED.
2393
01:35:19,334 --> 01:35:20,792
I AM NOT ONLY
WALKING OUT
2394
01:35:20,876 --> 01:35:22,292
ON THIS CASE,
MR. WHITESIDE,
2395
01:35:22,375 --> 01:35:24,876
I AM LEAVING
THE NURSING PROFESSION.
2396
01:35:24,959 --> 01:35:26,959
I BECAME A NURSE
BECAUSE ALL MY LIFE,
2397
01:35:27,042 --> 01:35:28,626
EVER SINCE I WAS
A LITTLE GIRL,
2398
01:35:28,709 --> 01:35:31,876
I WAS FILLED WITH THE IDEA
OF SERVING A SUFFERING
HUMANITY.
2399
01:35:31,959 --> 01:35:34,417
AFTER ONE MONTH
WITH YOU, MR. WHITESIDE,
2400
01:35:34,500 --> 01:35:36,834
I AM GOING TO WORK
IN A MUNITIONS FACTORY.
2401
01:35:36,918 --> 01:35:38,834
FROM NOW ON,
ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO
2402
01:35:38,918 --> 01:35:40,500
TO HELP EXTERMINATE
THE HUMAN RACE
2403
01:35:40,584 --> 01:35:42,876
WILL FILL ME WITH THE
GREATEST OF PLEASURE.
2404
01:35:42,959 --> 01:35:44,542
MR. WHITESIDE,
2405
01:35:44,626 --> 01:35:47,834
IF FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
HAD EVER NURSED YOU,
2406
01:35:47,918 --> 01:35:49,876
SHE WOULD HAVE MARRIED
JACK THE RIPPER
2407
01:35:49,959 --> 01:35:53,083
INSTEAD OF FOUNDING
THE RED CROSS. GOOD DAY.
2408
01:35:54,834 --> 01:35:56,834
[WHITESIDE LAUGHING]
2409
01:35:58,292 --> 01:35:59,375
[DOOR SLAMS]
2410
01:35:59,459 --> 01:36:00,417
[MRS. STANLEY SOBBING]
2411
01:36:00,500 --> 01:36:02,584
OH, JUNE!
JUNE, MY BABY!
2412
01:36:02,667 --> 01:36:04,167
MR. STANLEY
IS HERE WITH JUNE!
2413
01:36:04,250 --> 01:36:05,626
HE'S BROUGHT
JUNE BACK!
2414
01:36:05,709 --> 01:36:07,334
THANK GOODNESS!
THANK GOODNESS!
2415
01:36:07,417 --> 01:36:09,792
OH, DARLING, YOU'RE NOT
MAD AT HIM, ARE YOU?
2416
01:36:09,876 --> 01:36:11,167
NO, MOTHER.
DON'T GET HYSTERICAL.
2417
01:36:11,250 --> 01:36:13,709
WELL, IF IT HAD BEEN ANYBODY
BUT THAT AWFUL BOY--
2418
01:36:13,792 --> 01:36:15,334
ERNEST, THANK GOODNESS
YOU STOPPED IT.
2419
01:36:15,417 --> 01:36:17,834
- HOW EVER DID YOU DO IT?
- NEVER MIND THAT, DAISY.
2420
01:36:17,918 --> 01:36:20,417
TAKE JUNE UPSTAIRS. I HAVE
SOMETHING TO SAY TO HIM.
2421
01:36:20,500 --> 01:36:22,250
Mrs. Stanley:
WHAT ABOUT RICHARD? ANY NEWS?
2422
01:36:22,334 --> 01:36:23,876
IT'S ALRIGHT, DAISY--
ALL UNDER CONTROL.
2423
01:36:23,959 --> 01:36:25,250
JUST TAKE JUNE UPSTAIRS.
2424
01:36:25,334 --> 01:36:27,000
DON'T YOU THINK
WE'VE HAD ENOUGH
MELODRAMA?
2425
01:36:27,083 --> 01:36:30,667
I DON'T HAVE TO BE TAKEN,
I'LL GO. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
2426
01:36:30,751 --> 01:36:32,667
- MERRY CHRISTMAS, JUNE.
- LOCK ME IN MY ROOM.
2427
01:36:32,751 --> 01:36:35,334
YOU'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER
AFTER YOU'VE HAD A HOT BATH.
2428
01:36:35,417 --> 01:36:37,626
HAVE YOU HAD
ANYTHING TO EAT?
2429
01:36:37,709 --> 01:36:39,209
I'M PLEASED
TO INFORM YOU, SIR,
2430
01:36:39,292 --> 01:36:40,751
THAT YOUR PLANS
FOR MY DAUGHTER
2431
01:36:40,834 --> 01:36:42,751
SEEM TO HAVE GONE
A TRIFLE AWRY.
2432
01:36:42,834 --> 01:36:44,834
SHE IS NOT--
NOR WILL SHE EVER BE--
2433
01:36:44,918 --> 01:36:46,542
MARRIED
TO THAT LABOR AGITATOR
2434
01:36:46,626 --> 01:36:48,542
THAT YOU SO KINDLY
PICKED OUT FOR HER.
2435
01:36:48,626 --> 01:36:51,542
AS FOR MY SON, HE HAS BEEN
APPREHENDED IN TOLEDO
2436
01:36:51,626 --> 01:36:53,876
AND WILL BE BROUGHT HOME
WITHIN THE HOUR.
2437
01:36:53,959 --> 01:36:56,209
NOT HAVING YOUR GIFT
FOR INVECTIVE, SIR,
2438
01:36:56,292 --> 01:36:57,876
I CANNOT TELL YOU
WHAT I THINK
2439
01:36:57,959 --> 01:37:00,626
OF YOUR OBNOXIOUS
INTERFERENCE IN MY AFFAIRS,
2440
01:37:00,709 --> 01:37:01,876
BUT I HAVE ARRANGED
2441
01:37:01,959 --> 01:37:03,667
THAT YOU WILL INTERFERE
NO LONGER.
2442
01:37:03,751 --> 01:37:06,209
MR. WHITESIDE, THESE GENTLEMEN
ARE DEPUTY SHERIFFS.
2443
01:37:06,292 --> 01:37:08,709
THEY HAVE A WARRANT BY WHICH
I WILL BE ENABLED
2444
01:37:08,792 --> 01:37:11,834
TO PUT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE,
AND I NEED HARDLY ADD
2445
01:37:11,918 --> 01:37:14,292
THAT IT'LL BE THE
GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE.
2446
01:37:14,375 --> 01:37:16,792
MR. WHITESIDE, I AM
GIVING YOU 15 MINUTES
2447
01:37:16,876 --> 01:37:18,876
IN WHICH TO PACK UP
AND GET OUT.
2448
01:37:18,959 --> 01:37:20,918
IF YOU HAVE NOT GONE
IN 15 MINUTES,
2449
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:23,584
THESE GENTLEMEN WILL
FORCIBLY EJECT YOU.
2450
01:37:23,667 --> 01:37:24,584
THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.
2451
01:37:24,667 --> 01:37:26,959
WILL YOU WAIT
OUTSIDE, PLEASE?
2452
01:37:27,042 --> 01:37:28,500
15 MINUTES,
MR. WHITESIDE,
2453
01:37:28,584 --> 01:37:30,792
AND THAT MEANS BAG,
BAGGAGE, WHEELCHAIR,
2454
01:37:30,876 --> 01:37:33,000
PENGUINS,
AND OCTOPUS!
2455
01:37:33,083 --> 01:37:35,751
I AM NOW GOING UPSTAIRS
TO SMASH OUR RADIO
2456
01:37:35,834 --> 01:37:37,375
SO THAT NOT EVEN
ACCIDENTALLY
2457
01:37:37,459 --> 01:37:39,167
WILL I EVER HEAR
YOUR VOICE AGAIN!
2458
01:37:39,250 --> 01:37:42,083
SURE YOU DON'T WANT
MY AUTOGRAPH, OLD FELLOW?
2459
01:37:42,167 --> 01:37:46,542
15 MINUTES,
MR. WHITESIDE.
2460
01:37:46,626 --> 01:37:48,751
WELL, WHITESIDE,
I DIDN'T GET AN IDEA,
2461
01:37:48,834 --> 01:37:50,584
BUT THE FOOD
WAS WONDERFUL.
2462
01:37:50,667 --> 01:37:52,292
ANY NEWS
FROM THE FRONT?
2463
01:37:52,375 --> 01:37:54,792
YES. THE ENEMY
IS AT MY REAR AND NIBBLING.
2464
01:37:54,876 --> 01:37:56,542
WHERE DID YOU SAY
MAGGIE WAS--IN THERE?
2465
01:37:56,626 --> 01:37:59,626
IT'S NO USE, BANJO.
SHE'S TAKING THE 1:00 TRAIN
OUT.
2466
01:37:59,709 --> 01:38:01,417
NO KIDDING. YOU DIDN'T
TELL ME THAT.
2467
01:38:01,500 --> 01:38:03,751
YOU MEAN SHE'S QUIT YOU
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?
2468
01:38:03,834 --> 01:38:05,125
- SHE'S REALLY LEAVING?
- SHE IS.
2469
01:38:05,209 --> 01:38:06,375
THAT MEANS YOU ONLY GOT
2470
01:38:06,459 --> 01:38:07,792
TILL 1:00 TO DO SOMETHING.
2471
01:38:07,876 --> 01:38:10,667
NO, DEAR, I HAVE
15 MINUTES--14 MINUTES
2472
01:38:10,751 --> 01:38:14,209
IN WHICH TO PULL OUT OF MY HAT
THE MOST GIGANTIC RABBIT EVER.
2473
01:38:14,292 --> 01:38:15,709
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
14 MINUTES?
2474
01:38:15,792 --> 01:38:17,667
IN EXACTLY 14 MINUTES,
BABY'S ROSY LITTLE BODY
2475
01:38:17,751 --> 01:38:21,125
IS BEING TOSSED INTO THE SNOW.
MY HOST HAS SWORN OUT A
WARRANT.
2476
01:38:21,209 --> 01:38:22,792
- I AM BEING KICKED OUT.
- WHAT?
2477
01:38:22,876 --> 01:38:24,542
I NEVER HEARD
OF SUCH A THING.
2478
01:38:24,626 --> 01:38:26,334
WHAT WOULD HE
DO SUCH A THING?
2479
01:38:26,417 --> 01:38:27,792
WELL, NEVER MIND.
THE POINT IS,
2480
01:38:27,876 --> 01:38:30,584
I'VE ONLY GOT 14 MINUTES
TO GET LORRAINE OUT OF HERE.
2481
01:38:30,667 --> 01:38:32,918
BANJO, DEAR, THE MASTER'S
GROWING A LITTLE DESPERATE.
2482
01:38:33,000 --> 01:38:35,042
SAY, IF I KNEW
WHERE SHE WAS,
2483
01:38:35,125 --> 01:38:37,250
I COULD GET A CAR
AND RUN HER OVER.
2484
01:38:37,334 --> 01:38:39,459
- IT WOULDN'T HURT HER MUCH.
- OH, BANJO, PLEASE.
2485
01:38:39,542 --> 01:38:40,792
GO AND TALK TO MAGGIE.
2486
01:38:40,876 --> 01:38:43,375
- I'VE GOT TO THINK.
- ALRIGHT.
2487
01:38:48,375 --> 01:38:50,959
PARDON ME, MISS.
IS THIS THE Y.M.C.A.?
2488
01:38:51,042 --> 01:38:52,792
[SOBBING]
OH, BANJO, YOU OLD DOLL!
2489
01:38:52,876 --> 01:38:55,125
OH, COME ON NOW,
I'VE HEARD THE WHOLE STORY.
2490
01:38:55,209 --> 01:38:58,167
- EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE
ALRIGHT.
- BANJO.
2491
01:38:58,250 --> 01:39:01,334
DON'T WORRY. YOUR UNCLE BANJO
WILL PULL A FEW STRINGS.
2492
01:39:01,417 --> 01:39:03,834
- THAT WASN'T A BAD PUN, WAS IT?
- NO.
2493
01:39:03,918 --> 01:39:06,000
YOU'RE GONA HEAR THAT
IN MY NEXT PICTURE.
2494
01:39:06,083 --> 01:39:07,626
[DOOR OPENS]
2495
01:39:09,125 --> 01:39:11,334
- IS THIS YOUR FATHER?
- NO, YOU IDIOT.
2496
01:39:11,417 --> 01:39:15,250
HELLO, MR. WHITESIDE. I DIDN'T
GET VERY FAR. ANY SUGGESTIONS?
2497
01:39:15,334 --> 01:39:17,209
I'M VERY SORRY, RICHARD--
VERY SORRY INDEED.
2498
01:39:17,292 --> 01:39:19,334
Whiteside: I WISH
I WERE IN A POSITION--
2499
01:39:19,417 --> 01:39:21,125
WELL, YOU'RE NOT
IN A POSITION.
2500
01:39:21,209 --> 01:39:23,334
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
OFFICER.
2501
01:39:23,417 --> 01:39:25,292
HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING
FOR YOUR TROUBLE.
2502
01:39:25,375 --> 01:39:27,459
THANK YOU, SIR.
GOOD DAY.
2503
01:39:27,542 --> 01:39:29,042
WILL YOU GO UPSTAIRS,
RICHARD?
2504
01:39:35,834 --> 01:39:38,459
10 MINUTES,
MR. WHITESIDE.
2505
01:39:38,542 --> 01:39:40,709
I'VE BROUGHT YOU SOME
ORANGE JUICE, MR. WHITESIDE.
2506
01:39:40,792 --> 01:39:42,500
- FEELING ANY BETTER?
- OH, SUPERB.
2507
01:39:42,584 --> 01:39:44,918
IS THERE ANY CYANIDE IN
THIS ORANGE JUICE, JOHN?
2508
01:39:45,000 --> 01:39:46,751
[DOORBELL RINGS]
2509
01:39:46,834 --> 01:39:48,292
OPEN THE DOOR, JOHN. IT'S
PROBABLY
2510
01:39:48,375 --> 01:39:50,167
SOME MUSTARD GAS
FROM AN OLD FRIEND.
2511
01:39:50,250 --> 01:39:52,542
YES, SIR.
SAY, THAT CRAZY FELLA
2512
01:39:52,626 --> 01:39:54,042
MADE A GREAT HIT
WITH SARAH.
2513
01:39:54,125 --> 01:39:56,667
HE WANTS TO GIVE HER
A SCREEN TEST.
2514
01:39:58,042 --> 01:40:00,042
GOOD MORNING, JOHN.
IS MR. WHITESIDE UP YET?
2515
01:40:00,125 --> 01:40:01,459
YES, MISS SHELDON.
RIGHT THERE.
2516
01:40:01,542 --> 01:40:03,709
MERRY CHRISTMAS, DARLING.
2517
01:40:03,792 --> 01:40:06,375
I'VE COME TO HAVE CHRISTMAS
BREAKFAST WITH YOU, MAY I?
2518
01:40:06,459 --> 01:40:09,250
OF COURSE, MY SPRITE. JOHN, A
BREAKFAST TRAY FOR MISS
SHELDON.
2519
01:40:09,334 --> 01:40:11,751
- YES, SIR.
- MAKE IT ONE-MINUTE EGGS.
2520
01:40:11,834 --> 01:40:13,834
DARLING, I WAS SIMPLY
SWEPT OFF MY FEET
2521
01:40:13,918 --> 01:40:15,792
BY THE PLAY.
IT'S FANTASTICALLY GOOD.
2522
01:40:15,876 --> 01:40:17,292
SHERRY, IT'S
THE KIND OF PART
2523
01:40:17,375 --> 01:40:19,083
THAT COMES ALONG
ONCE IN 10 YEARS.
2524
01:40:19,167 --> 01:40:21,584
OH, I'M SO GRATEFUL
TO YOU, DARLING.
2525
01:40:21,667 --> 01:40:22,918
THANK YOU, DEAR.
2526
01:40:23,000 --> 01:40:24,918
WHAT TIME ARE YOU LEAVING--
YOU AND JEFFERSON?
2527
01:40:25,000 --> 01:40:27,209
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S 4:00, I THINK.
2528
01:40:27,292 --> 01:40:29,083
YOU KNOW, SHERRY,
APART FROM EVERYTHING ELSE,
2529
01:40:29,167 --> 01:40:31,375
BERT IS REALLY
A VERY ATTRACTIVE MAN.
2530
01:40:31,459 --> 01:40:33,167
IT WILL MAKE IT
RATHER A PLEASURE
2531
01:40:33,250 --> 01:40:35,209
SQUARING ACCOUNTS WITH
LITTLE MISS VITRIOL.
2532
01:40:35,292 --> 01:40:38,250
IN FACT, EVERYTHING HAS
WORKED OUT BEAUTIFULLY.
2533
01:40:38,334 --> 01:40:39,959
SHERRY, LAMB,
I WANT TO GIVE YOU
2534
01:40:40,042 --> 01:40:42,626
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS
PRESENT YOU'VE EVER HAD IN
LIFE.
2535
01:40:42,709 --> 01:40:44,626
NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
ANYTHING.
2536
01:40:44,709 --> 01:40:46,500
I'M SO DELIRIOUSLY
HAPPY THAT--
2537
01:40:46,584 --> 01:40:48,417
[BANJO LAUGHING]
2538
01:40:48,500 --> 01:40:50,292
THAT SOUNDS LIKE BANJO.
IS HE HERE?
2539
01:40:50,375 --> 01:40:51,542
HE IS, MY DEAR.
2540
01:40:51,626 --> 01:40:53,334
JUST THE FAMILY CIRCLE
GATHERING FOR CHRISTMAS.
2541
01:40:53,417 --> 01:40:55,959
MY, HOW TIME FLIES
WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN.
2542
01:40:56,042 --> 01:40:58,000
HA HA HA!
2543
01:40:58,083 --> 01:41:00,667
HA HA HA--
2544
01:41:00,751 --> 01:41:03,334
WHAT, WHO,
AND ALL THAT SORT OF THING!
2545
01:41:03,417 --> 01:41:05,626
IF ISN'T LADY BOTTOMLY!
2546
01:41:05,709 --> 01:41:08,125
MY DEAR,
YOU LOOK RIPPING--
2547
01:41:08,209 --> 01:41:09,792
POSITIVELY RIPPING!
2548
01:41:09,876 --> 01:41:11,626
VERY FUNNY.
IT'S TOO BAD, BANJO,
2549
01:41:11,709 --> 01:41:14,500
THAT YOUR PICTURES AREN'T AS
FUNNY AS YOU THINK YOU ARE.
2550
01:41:14,584 --> 01:41:16,626
YOU'VE GOT ME THERE,
LORRAINE.
2551
01:41:16,709 --> 01:41:20,209
YOU STILL GOT ANTS
IN YOUR GLANCE.
2552
01:41:20,292 --> 01:41:22,292
HA HA HA!
2553
01:41:22,375 --> 01:41:23,667
ANYTHING IN THE WIND,
WHITESIDE?
2554
01:41:23,751 --> 01:41:24,626
NOT A GLIMMER.
2555
01:41:24,709 --> 01:41:26,125
WHAT TIME
DOES THE BOAT SAIL?
2556
01:41:26,209 --> 01:41:27,834
- 10 MINUTES.
- WHAT BOAT IS THIS?
2557
01:41:27,918 --> 01:41:30,292
THE GOOD SHIP
BEHIND THE EIGHTBALL.
2558
01:41:30,375 --> 01:41:33,083
[BANJO LAUGHING]
2559
01:41:33,167 --> 01:41:35,667
I HAVE EVERYTHING EXCEPT
THE NEW YEAR'S EVE BROADCAST.
2560
01:41:35,751 --> 01:41:37,209
ISN'T THERE
A SCHEDULE ON THAT?
2561
01:41:37,292 --> 01:41:39,292
I THINK IT'S ON THAT TABLE
THERE SOMEPLACE.
2562
01:41:39,375 --> 01:41:42,334
- THANK YOU.
- NEW YEAR'S EVE?
2563
01:41:42,417 --> 01:41:44,834
OH, BERT AND I WILL
HEAR IT FROM LAKE PLACID.
2564
01:41:44,918 --> 01:41:47,417
YOU'VE BEEN TO MY PLACE UP
THERE, HAVEN'T YOU, SHERRY?
2565
01:41:47,500 --> 01:41:49,876
LOVELY, ISN'T IT?
AWAY FROM EVERYTHING.
2566
01:41:49,959 --> 01:41:51,918
JUST SNOW
AND CLEAR, COLD NIGHTS.
2567
01:41:52,000 --> 01:41:53,292
[DOORBELL RINGS]
2568
01:41:53,375 --> 01:41:57,334
OH, THAT MUST BE BERT NOW.
I TOLD HIM TO MEET ME HERE.
2569
01:41:57,417 --> 01:42:01,167
YOU KNOW, I'M RATHER LOOKING
FORWARD TO LAKE PLACID.
2570
01:42:01,250 --> 01:42:02,542
BERT'S THE KIND OF MAN
2571
01:42:02,626 --> 01:42:04,834
WHO'LL DO ALL
WINTER SPORTS BEAUTIFULLY.
2572
01:42:04,918 --> 01:42:07,042
WILL HE HAVE TIME?
2573
01:42:07,125 --> 01:42:10,083
WITH ALL THE REWRITING
AND, UH...
2574
01:42:10,167 --> 01:42:11,918
FOR MR. WHITESIDE.
2575
01:42:12,042 --> 01:42:14,542
ALRIGHT, COME IN.
RIGHT IN HERE. CAREFUL NOW.
2576
01:42:14,626 --> 01:42:15,584
YEAH, THIS THING'S
VALUABLE.
2577
01:42:15,667 --> 01:42:17,584
THIS OLD DAME IS
2,000 YEARS OLD,
2578
01:42:17,667 --> 01:42:19,209
SHE'S IN BETTER
SHAPE THAN ME.
2579
01:42:19,292 --> 01:42:22,209
John: FOR YOU,
MR. WHITESIDE.
2580
01:42:23,209 --> 01:42:24,417
CAREFUL, NOW.
2581
01:42:26,834 --> 01:42:28,042
GREAT-AUNT MEHITABEL.
2582
01:42:28,125 --> 01:42:30,667
IF THERE WAS ONE THING
I NEEDED AT THIS MOMENT,
2583
01:42:30,751 --> 01:42:31,918
IT WAS
AN EGYPTIAN MUMMY.
2584
01:42:32,000 --> 01:42:35,000
"MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM
THE KHEDIVE OF EGYPT."
2585
01:42:35,083 --> 01:42:36,500
WHAT DID YOU
SEND HIM--
2586
01:42:36,584 --> 01:42:37,792
GRANT'S TOMB?
2587
01:42:37,876 --> 01:42:39,959
5 MINUTES,
MR. WHITESIDE...
2588
01:42:40,042 --> 01:42:42,459
INCLUDING THAT!
2589
01:42:43,083 --> 01:42:44,500
WHO'S THAT MAN?
2590
01:42:44,584 --> 01:42:47,250
HE ANNOUNCES THE TIME
EVERY FEW MINUTES.
2591
01:42:47,334 --> 01:42:50,626
- I PAY HIM A SMALL SUM.
- WHAT ON EARTH FOR, SHERRY?
2592
01:42:50,709 --> 01:42:52,792
I LOST MY WATCH!
2593
01:42:56,000 --> 01:42:58,167
OH, UH, MR. WHITESIDE,
ARE YOU BUSY?
2594
01:42:58,250 --> 01:42:59,125
OH...
2595
01:42:59,209 --> 01:43:01,083
WELL, I'LL WAIT
IN THE LIBRARY.
2596
01:43:01,167 --> 01:43:03,667
EXCUSE ME. OH.
2597
01:43:03,751 --> 01:43:05,959
HA HA HA!
2598
01:43:06,042 --> 01:43:07,584
IS THAT THE PLUMBER
AGAIN, SHERRY?
2599
01:43:07,667 --> 01:43:08,584
[SOBBING]
2600
01:43:08,667 --> 01:43:10,626
OH, DEAR. I WONDER
WHERE BERT IS.
2601
01:43:10,709 --> 01:43:12,459
DARLING, YOU'RE NOT
VERY CHRISTMASSY.
2602
01:43:12,542 --> 01:43:14,792
YOU'RE USUALLY BUBBLING
OVER
ON CHRISTMAS MORNING.
2603
01:43:16,792 --> 01:43:18,083
WHO SENT YOU THIS,
SHERRY--
2604
01:43:18,167 --> 01:43:19,626
THE KHEDIVE OF EGYPT?
2605
01:43:19,709 --> 01:43:22,334
YOU KNOW, I THINK
IT'S RATHER BEAUTIFUL.
2606
01:43:22,417 --> 01:43:24,375
I MUST GO TO EGYPT
SOMETIME.
2607
01:43:24,459 --> 01:43:26,626
I REALLY MUST.
I KNOW I'D LOVE IT.
2608
01:43:26,709 --> 01:43:29,042
YOU KNOW, THE FIRST TIME
I WENT TO POMPEII,
2609
01:43:29,125 --> 01:43:30,792
I CRIED ALL NIGHT.
2610
01:43:30,876 --> 01:43:34,417
ALL THOSE PEOPLE...
ALL THOSE LIVES...
2611
01:43:34,500 --> 01:43:36,542
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
2612
01:43:38,876 --> 01:43:40,918
HERE WAS A WOMAN
LIKE MYSELF--
2613
01:43:41,000 --> 01:43:43,459
A WOMAN WHO'D ONCE
LIVED AND LOVED,
2614
01:43:43,542 --> 01:43:45,959
FULL OF THE SAME
PASSIONS, FEARS,
2615
01:43:46,042 --> 01:43:47,959
JEALOUSIES, HATES.
2616
01:43:48,042 --> 01:43:49,959
WHAT REMAINS OF IT NOW?
2617
01:43:50,042 --> 01:43:51,792
JUST THIS.
2618
01:43:51,876 --> 01:43:53,876
NOTHING MORE.
2619
01:44:04,918 --> 01:44:07,042
A SPAN
OF 4,000 YEARS--
2620
01:44:07,125 --> 01:44:09,417
A MERE ATOM IN
THE ETERNITY OF TIME--
2621
01:44:09,500 --> 01:44:10,876
AND HERE AM I,
2622
01:44:10,959 --> 01:44:13,042
ANOTHER WOMAN
LIVING OUT HER LIFE.
2623
01:44:13,125 --> 01:44:15,459
I WANT TO CRY.
2624
01:44:18,667 --> 01:44:20,417
OH, I MUSTN'T TALK
LIKE THIS TODAY.
2625
01:44:20,500 --> 01:44:22,000
IT'S CHRISTMAS.
IT'S CHRISTMAS!
2626
01:44:22,083 --> 01:44:24,000
LORRAINE, DEAR, HAVE YOU
EVER PLAYED SAINT JOAN?
2627
01:44:24,083 --> 01:44:26,626
WHY, NO, I HAVEN'T, SHERRY.
WHY DO YOU ASK THAT?
2628
01:44:26,709 --> 01:44:28,167
YOUR EXPRESSION
AS YOU STOOD THERE.
2629
01:44:28,250 --> 01:44:30,000
THERE WAS AN ABSOLUTE
HALO ABOUT YOU.
2630
01:44:30,083 --> 01:44:31,125
WHY, SHERRY,
HOW SWEET.
2631
01:44:31,209 --> 01:44:32,375
IT TRANSCENDED
ANY MORTAL EXPRESSION
2632
01:44:32,459 --> 01:44:34,500
I'VE EVER SEEN.
STEP INTO IT AGAIN, DEAR.
2633
01:44:34,584 --> 01:44:36,000
NOW, SHERRY,
YOU'RE JOSHING ME.
2634
01:44:36,083 --> 01:44:39,167
OH, I DON'T MAKE LIGHT OF THESE
THINGS. I WAS DEEPLY MOVED.
2635
01:44:39,250 --> 01:44:41,417
THERE WAS A STRANGE BEAUTY
ABOUT YOU, LORRAINE--
2636
01:44:41,500 --> 01:44:43,626
PURE DAVINCI.
PLEASE DO IT AGAIN, DEAR.
2637
01:44:43,709 --> 01:44:46,000
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT I DID,
2638
01:44:46,083 --> 01:44:47,876
BUT I'LL--I'LL TRY.
2639
01:44:58,375 --> 01:45:00,083
OH, NO, SHERRY.
I FEEL TOO SILLY.
2640
01:45:00,167 --> 01:45:02,876
OH, NO, NO.
DEAR, IN THAT SINGLE INSTANCE,
2641
01:45:02,959 --> 01:45:04,667
YOU APPROACHED
THE EPITOME OF YOUR ART,
2642
01:45:04,751 --> 01:45:06,375
YOU SHOULD'NT
BE ASHAMED OF IT.
2643
01:45:06,459 --> 01:45:09,000
YOU ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED
FOR A CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
2644
01:45:09,083 --> 01:45:10,417
ALL THAT I WANT, LORRAINE,
2645
01:45:10,500 --> 01:45:15,000
IS THE MEMORY OF YOU
IN THAT MUMMY CASE.
2646
01:45:15,083 --> 01:45:17,459
WHY, SHERRY,
I'M ALL CHOKED UP.
2647
01:45:32,959 --> 01:45:35,834
DUST THOU ART,
AND DUST TO DUST--
2648
01:45:35,918 --> 01:45:37,417
BANJO!
2649
01:45:37,500 --> 01:45:38,626
EUREKA!
2650
01:45:38,709 --> 01:45:41,751
HA HA HA!
THERE'S SERVICE FOR YOU.
2651
01:45:41,834 --> 01:45:43,250
WILL SHE BE
ALRIGHT IN THERE?
2652
01:45:43,334 --> 01:45:44,792
SURE. SHE CAN
BREATHE EASY.
2653
01:45:44,876 --> 01:45:48,667
I'LL LET HER OUT AS SOON AS
WE GET ON THE PLANE. CUTE KID.
2654
01:45:48,751 --> 01:45:50,918
SAY, HOW DO WE GET THIS
OUT OF HERE?
2655
01:45:51,000 --> 01:45:53,250
ONE THING AT A TIME.
THAT'S THE NEXT STEP!
2656
01:45:53,334 --> 01:45:55,876
THINK FAST, MR. MOTO.
THINK FAST.
2657
01:45:55,959 --> 01:45:57,500
LOOK OUT. HERE.
2658
01:46:01,417 --> 01:46:04,250
THIS IS EVERYTHING.
I'M LEAVING 3 CARBONS.
2659
01:46:04,334 --> 01:46:07,083
CHRISTMAS CARD FROM
THE HEAD GUY OF EGYPT.
2660
01:46:07,167 --> 01:46:09,083
ANYTHING I CAN
DO FOR YOU HERE?
2661
01:46:09,167 --> 01:46:10,334
WHAT'S IN THIS BASKET?
2662
01:46:10,417 --> 01:46:11,876
NO, NOTHING AT ALL,
THANK YOU.
2663
01:46:11,959 --> 01:46:14,250
OH, ELEANOR ROOSEVELT--
DID YOU CALL HER IN ATLANTA?
2664
01:46:14,334 --> 01:46:15,959
YES, BUT SHE'D ALREADY
LEFT FOR WASHINGTON,
2665
01:46:16,042 --> 01:46:19,417
I LEFT A MESSAGE AT THE WHITE
HOUSE FOR HER TO CALL YOU.
2666
01:46:19,500 --> 01:46:20,918
DO YOU WANT THESE
LETTERS FILED?
2667
01:46:21,000 --> 01:46:23,292
- NO. THROW EVERYTHING.
- YOU WANT THIS PICTURE?
2668
01:46:23,375 --> 01:46:25,250
NO. OH, YES, WAIT.
I WANT THE PICTURE.
2669
01:46:25,334 --> 01:46:27,500
I'VE DONE EVERYTHING BUT
PUT YOUR BROADCAST IN ORDER.
2670
01:46:27,584 --> 01:46:30,626
- DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT?
- YES, DO THAT RIGHT AWAY.
2671
01:46:30,709 --> 01:46:33,500
- IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.
- I'LL SEE YOU BEFORE I GO.
2672
01:46:36,709 --> 01:46:37,792
[DOOR CLOSES]
2673
01:46:37,876 --> 01:46:40,459
I GOT IT! I KNEW I'D
SEEN THIS FACE BEFORE.
2674
01:46:40,542 --> 01:46:43,334
- NOW I KNOW HOW TO GET HER OUT.
- WHAT FACE? HOW?
2675
01:46:43,417 --> 01:46:45,083
THE TIME IS UP,
MR. WHITESIDE--15 MINUTES--
2676
01:46:45,167 --> 01:46:48,459
GLAD TO SEE YOU UP. IT'LL SAVE
ME HAVING YOU THROWN OUT.
2677
01:46:48,542 --> 01:46:50,417
JUST ONE SLIGHT
FAVOR BEFORE YOU LEAVE.
2678
01:46:50,500 --> 01:46:53,250
I'D LIKE YOU TO SUMMON THOSE
OFFICERS, ASK THEM TO HELP
2679
01:46:53,334 --> 01:46:55,042
TO THE AIRPORT
WITH THIS MUMMY CASE.
2680
01:46:55,125 --> 01:46:57,542
WOULD YOU BE GOOD ENOUGH
TO DO THAT, MR. STANLEY?
2681
01:46:57,626 --> 01:47:01,000
- I'LL DO NOTHING OF THE KIND.
- OH, I THINK YOU WILL.
2682
01:47:01,083 --> 01:47:03,042
OR SHALL I INFORM
MY RADIO AUDIENCE
2683
01:47:03,125 --> 01:47:05,751
ON MY NEXT BROADCAST
OF YOUR LITTLE SECRET:
2684
01:47:05,834 --> 01:47:07,375
THAT YOUR SISTER
HARRIET STANLEY
2685
01:47:07,459 --> 01:47:09,417
IS NONE OTHER THAN THE
FAMOUS HARRIET SEDLEY,
2686
01:47:09,500 --> 01:47:11,667
WHO MURDERED HER MOTHER
AND FATHER WITH AN AXE
2687
01:47:11,751 --> 01:47:13,626
25 YEARS AGO IN
GLOUCESTER,
MASSACHUSETTS?
2688
01:47:13,709 --> 01:47:15,918
OH, COME, MR. STANLEY,
IT'S A VERY SMALL FAVOR,
2689
01:47:16,000 --> 01:47:18,500
OR WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE
THE GOOD FOLK OF MESALIA
2690
01:47:18,584 --> 01:47:19,792
REPEATING AT YOUR
VERY DOORSTEP
2691
01:47:19,876 --> 01:47:22,459
THAT ONCE-POPULAR
LITTLE JINGLE--
2692
01:47:22,542 --> 01:47:24,334
"HARRIET SEDLEY
TOOK AN AXE
2693
01:47:24,417 --> 01:47:26,834
"AND GAVE HER MOTHER
40 WHACKS,
2694
01:47:26,918 --> 01:47:29,209
"AND WHEN THE JOB
WAS NICELY DONE,
2695
01:47:29,292 --> 01:47:31,792
SHE GAVE
HER FATHER 41."
2696
01:47:31,876 --> 01:47:33,626
HA HA! OH, NO, NO,
MR. STANLEY.
2697
01:47:33,709 --> 01:47:35,125
I, TOO, AM
GIVING UP SOMETHING.
2698
01:47:35,209 --> 01:47:37,834
IT WOULD MAKE
A WHALE OF A BROADCAST.
2699
01:47:37,918 --> 01:47:40,834
MR. WHITESIDE,
YOU ARE A DEVIL.
2700
01:47:40,918 --> 01:47:43,083
I OFTEN THINK SO MYSELF,
OLD FELLOW.
2701
01:47:43,167 --> 01:47:45,292
SHE GAVE HER MOTHER
40 WHACKS.
2702
01:47:45,375 --> 01:47:47,292
HOW THE DODGERS
COULD HAVE USED HER.
2703
01:47:47,375 --> 01:47:49,542
COME RIGHT IN, OFFICERS.
MR. STANLEY WOULD LIKE YOU
2704
01:47:49,626 --> 01:47:52,375
TO HELP THIS GENTLEMAN TO THE
AIRPORT WITH THIS MUMMY CASE.
2705
01:47:52,459 --> 01:47:54,709
HE'S SENDING IT TO A FRIEND
IN NOVA SCOTIA.
2706
01:47:54,792 --> 01:47:56,375
- Banjo: COLLECT!
- Whiteside: RIGHT, MR.
STANLEY?
2707
01:47:56,459 --> 01:47:57,918
YES. YES!
2708
01:47:58,000 --> 01:47:59,209
THANK YOU,
GENTLEMEN,
2709
01:47:59,292 --> 01:48:00,918
AND HANDLE THAT
VERY CAREFULLY, PLEASE.
2710
01:48:01,000 --> 01:48:02,667
BANJO, MY LAD,
YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
2711
01:48:02,751 --> 01:48:06,334
- I MAY WRITE A BOOK ABOUT YOU.
- DON'T BOTHER. I CAN'T READ.
2712
01:48:06,417 --> 01:48:09,959
GOOD-BYE, MAGGIE.
LOVE CONQUERS ALL.
2713
01:48:10,042 --> 01:48:12,542
HERE'S A CHRISTMAS
PRESENT FOR YOU.
2714
01:48:12,626 --> 01:48:15,876
TAKE IT EASY. DON'T DROP
THAT CASE, BOYS.
2715
01:48:15,959 --> 01:48:17,709
IT CONTAINS
A JEWEL...
2716
01:48:17,792 --> 01:48:20,792
SLIGHTLY TARNISHED.
HA HA!
2717
01:48:20,876 --> 01:48:23,667
WHITESIDE, I'LL LOAD IT UP
WITH SMOKED SALMON
2718
01:48:23,751 --> 01:48:25,584
AND SHIP IT
BACK TO YOU. HA HA!
2719
01:48:25,667 --> 01:48:28,083
♪ DID YOU EVER HAVE THE
FEELING
THAT YOU WANTED TO GO ♪
2720
01:48:28,167 --> 01:48:30,375
♪ STILL HAVE THE FEELING
THAT YOU WANTED TO STAY? ♪
2721
01:48:30,459 --> 01:48:32,709
♪ YOU KNEW IT WAS RIGHT,
WASN'T WRONG... ♪
2722
01:48:32,792 --> 01:48:35,250
SHERRY, SHERRY,
WAS THAT--
2723
01:48:35,334 --> 01:48:36,417
IT WAS INDEED.
2724
01:48:36,500 --> 01:48:38,959
THE FIELD IS CLEAR,
AND YOU HAVE MY BLESSING.
2725
01:48:39,042 --> 01:48:40,876
OH, YOU OLD
REPROBATE.
2726
01:48:40,959 --> 01:48:42,375
JUST SEND ME
A NECKTIE SOMETIME.
2727
01:48:42,459 --> 01:48:44,918
MY HAT AND COAT, PLEASE.
I'M LEAVING FOR NEW YORK.
2728
01:48:45,000 --> 01:48:46,876
- WELL, WHAT--
- DON'T ARGUE, RAT GIRL.
2729
01:48:46,959 --> 01:48:51,292
- DO AS YOU ARE TOLD.
- YES, MR. WHITESIDE.
2730
01:48:51,375 --> 01:48:53,042
Whiteside:
SARAH! JOHN!
2731
01:48:58,792 --> 01:49:00,751
MAGGIE. MAGGIE,
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.
2732
01:49:00,834 --> 01:49:02,584
OH, DON'T GIVE IT
A THOUGHT, BERT.
2733
01:49:02,667 --> 01:49:04,334
THERE'S BEEN A SLIGHT
CHANGE IN PLANS.
2734
01:49:04,417 --> 01:49:06,334
LA SHELDON HAS DEPARTED
FOR PARTS UNKNOWN,
2735
01:49:06,417 --> 01:49:09,918
AND I'M GOING TO SEE THAT SHERRY
GIVES YOUR PLAY TO CORNELL.
2736
01:49:10,000 --> 01:49:11,375
MAGGIE!
2737
01:49:11,459 --> 01:49:15,125
HOW WOULD YOU TWO LIKE TO COME
TO NEW YORK AND WORK FOR ME?
2738
01:49:15,209 --> 01:49:16,209
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
2739
01:49:16,292 --> 01:49:17,626
[BOTH]
WE'D LOVE IT.
2740
01:49:17,709 --> 01:49:19,125
AH, THANK YOU, MAGGIE,
MY DARLING.
2741
01:49:19,209 --> 01:49:21,751
MR. WHITESIDE, MY
COOK AND MY BUTLER--
2742
01:49:21,834 --> 01:49:23,751
THEY'VE BEEN WITH ME
FOR 10 YEARS!
2743
01:49:23,834 --> 01:49:25,083
I'M COMMUTING
THEIR SENTENCE.
2744
01:49:25,167 --> 01:49:27,584
IF YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND EVER
COME TO NEW YORK,
2745
01:49:27,667 --> 01:49:31,000
YOU CAN COME TO MY PLACE FOR
DINNER... IF I'M NOT IN TOWN.
2746
01:49:31,083 --> 01:49:32,792
OH, MR. WHITESIDE,
ARE YOU VERY BUSY?
2747
01:49:32,876 --> 01:49:34,125
OH, YES, DOCTOR,
VERY BUSY,
2748
01:49:34,209 --> 01:49:38,125
IF YOU EVER COME TO NEW YORK,
TRY AND FIND ME.
2749
01:49:38,209 --> 01:49:40,500
GOODBYE, MY LAMB.
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
2750
01:49:40,584 --> 01:49:43,500
- SHERRY, YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
- NONSENSE. GOODBYE, JEFFERSON.
2751
01:49:43,584 --> 01:49:45,417
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
THE TROUBLE YOU'VE CAUSED.
2752
01:49:45,500 --> 01:49:46,459
Bert: GOODBYE,
MR. WHITESIDE.
2753
01:49:46,542 --> 01:49:48,083
GOODBYE, MR. STANLEY.
2754
01:49:48,167 --> 01:49:51,125
I'D LIKE TO HEAR THAT YOUR
DAUGHTER MARRIED HER YOUNG MAN
2755
01:49:51,209 --> 01:49:54,500
AND YOUR SON HAD BEEN
PERMITTED
TO FOLLOW HIS OWN BENT...
2756
01:49:54,584 --> 01:49:56,834
OR ELSE.
2757
01:49:56,918 --> 01:49:58,167
WELL, WHAT ABOUT
THE PENGUINS,
2758
01:49:58,250 --> 01:49:59,709
THE OCTOPUS,
THE BABY SEAL,
2759
01:49:59,792 --> 01:50:01,250
AND THE REST
OF THE MENAGERIE?
2760
01:50:01,334 --> 01:50:05,000
THEY'RE ALL YOURS,
MR. STANLEY.
2761
01:50:06,834 --> 01:50:08,167
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
EVERYBODY!
2762
01:50:08,250 --> 01:50:09,959
All: MERRY CHRISTMAS,
MR. WHITESIDE.
2763
01:50:10,042 --> 01:50:11,709
WHAT IS ALL THIS?
WHERE'S HE GOING?
2764
01:50:11,792 --> 01:50:14,167
- I DIDN'T KNOW HE COULD
WALK.
- IT'S ALRIGHT.
2765
01:50:14,250 --> 01:50:16,709
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
2766
01:50:18,834 --> 01:50:20,959
HELLO.
2767
01:50:21,042 --> 01:50:22,667
MRS. ROOSEVELT?!
2768
01:50:22,751 --> 01:50:24,500
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT?
2769
01:50:24,584 --> 01:50:26,626
OH, JUST A MOMENT
PLEASE!
2770
01:50:26,709 --> 01:50:28,417
MR. WHITESIDE!
2771
01:50:28,500 --> 01:50:30,584
OH, MRS. ROOSEVELT,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
2772
01:50:30,667 --> 01:50:32,709
MY HUSBAND DIDN'T VOTE
FOR YOUR HUSBAND
2773
01:50:32,792 --> 01:50:34,417
BUT I DID.
2774
01:50:34,500 --> 01:50:36,500
OH, YOU'RE WELCOME,
I'M SURE,
2775
01:50:36,584 --> 01:50:40,125
AND I'D LOVE TO VOTE
FOR YOUR HUSBAND AGAIN SOMETIME.
2776
01:50:40,209 --> 01:50:42,209
OH. HA HA!
MRS. ROOSEVELT.
2777
01:50:42,292 --> 01:50:44,667
[AIRPLANE APPROACHING]
2778
01:50:55,709 --> 01:50:56,918
OH, MR. WHITESIDE!
2779
01:50:57,000 --> 01:50:58,626
MRS. ROOSEVELT'S
ON THE PHONE.
2780
01:50:58,709 --> 01:51:01,334
WHAT--ELEANOR?
2781
01:51:01,417 --> 01:51:03,876
OW!
2782
01:51:03,959 --> 01:51:06,042
Whiteside: I'VE DONE IT
AGAIN! OH, MY LEG!
2783
01:51:06,125 --> 01:51:07,167
SHERRY!
2784
01:51:07,250 --> 01:51:09,292
BERT! JOHN!
SHERRY'S FALLEN!
2785
01:51:09,375 --> 01:51:11,042
WHAT IS IT, MAGGIE?
SOMETHING'S HAPPENED?
2786
01:51:11,125 --> 01:51:14,083
PERHAPS HE FELL AGAIN.
2787
01:51:14,167 --> 01:51:16,250
OH...
2788
01:51:16,334 --> 01:51:18,125
OH, I'M HURT!
I'LL HAVE A--
2789
01:51:18,209 --> 01:51:19,918
MISS PREEN.
MISS PREEN!
2790
01:51:20,000 --> 01:51:22,250
I WANT MISS PREEN!
HELP ME UP.
2791
01:51:22,334 --> 01:51:25,209
OH! OH, MY!
MAGGIE! OH!
2792
01:51:25,292 --> 01:51:26,834
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
HAS SOMETHING HAPPENED?
2793
01:51:26,918 --> 01:51:28,083
IS ANYTHING WRONG
DOWN HERE?
2794
01:51:28,167 --> 01:51:30,167
Whiteside: MISS PREEN!
I WANT MISS PREEN BACK!
2795
01:51:30,250 --> 01:51:34,167
MR. STANLEY, I AM SUING YOU
FOR $350,000!
2796
01:51:34,250 --> 01:51:35,375
OH, WHERE'S
THE DOCTOR?
2797
01:51:35,459 --> 01:51:37,209
[PENGUINS SQUAWKING]
2798
01:51:37,292 --> 01:51:38,792
OH, DOCTOR,
I'VE GOT A PAIN.
2799
01:51:38,876 --> 01:51:40,417
OH, THIS IS AWFUL.
2800
01:51:40,500 --> 01:51:41,834
OH!
2801
01:51:41,918 --> 01:51:43,792
[WHITESIDE SHOUTING
AND GROANING]
2802
01:51:45,834 --> 01:51:47,334
[MRS. STANLEY GASPING]
2803
01:51:48,834 --> 01:51:51,918
Eleanor Roosevelt: HELLO?
HELLO, HELLO! OH, DEAR.
2804
01:51:52,000 --> 01:51:54,083
SOMETHING MUST HAVE
HAPPENED TO SHERRY.
2805
01:51:54,167 --> 01:51:56,083
OPERATOR.
OPERATOR!